thing is, you have no idea how you would be as a drunk. you could happy and stupid, you could be a belligerent asshole, or you you could be a constant sad whiny panda.
what version do you think 100% of ATOT expects you to be? Thing is, family history or not, you have no idea if you're an alcoholic until you start drinking.
I'm not saying you should just go out and drink--what you want to do is fine and all, ...but many here think you need to loosen the fuck up a bit. well, not a bit--completely. Alcohol could very well be the social lubricant that helps. Just don't assume possibilites that you simply don't know dick about.
all of this fear that you keep pent up inside is the very thing holding you into your cycle of bitch-whine-moan-i hate myself-i hate my life BS.