ok, wtf is up with farting while at the urinal?

[destrekor]

I guess it goes back to the spitting thread we had here not too long ago.

Why the need to spit at all?

You don't have the sinus drainage that I have to deal with.

And with that said, most of times that I spit, it's not a neat clear fluid that resembles drool - no no, it's rather disgusting looking.

Where would you prefer I spit?
I typically use the nearest preferred spit receptacle. Usually a urinal, toilet, sink, or garbage can. If I'm not surrounded by a lot of people, I'll take care of it in the grass outside.
It's not pretty, but it's that or a feeling that junk is lodged in my throat. It doesn't make it all the way down, so it has to come back up.

Don't worry, I don't leave little globs of nastiness visible. Sink? If I'm not already washing my hands, I rinse the sink out. Toilet or urinal? No problem, it's going where bodily waste was meant to be deposited.

Bodily functions need to not be something we need to be grossed out by. It's not like I'm attempting to mark territory or anything (though for some guys, that could be the unconscious drive responsible). Same goes for sneezing, farting, belching. Why do we even waste breath acknowledging these bodily functions? We all do it, we've learned it's not a demon possessing us. Our body does some incredibly nasty things inside, and well, sometimes it escapes the confinement of the meatbag known as our body. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable to do anything but get rid of something our body would rather push out.

Seriously, we are too much of a pansy-ass nation if we are offended by 100% natural bodily functions. Mammals are actually some of the worst offenders for everyday bodily functions, and we happen to be such a creature.

 

[ShawnD1]

You can't hold in a fart while pissing. If you have something held in, it's gonna come out when you relax the muscles needed to piss.

You should probably see a doctor about this. I can piss and hold in farts at the same time just like everyone else in the entire world.

 

[alfa147x]

You should probably see a doctor about this. I can piss and hold in farts at the same time just like everyone else in the entire world.

I to can do this magical task...

 

[destrekor]

You should probably see a doctor about this. I can piss and hold in farts at the same time just like everyone else in the entire world.

But why bother trying?
When pissing, you're likely in an environment that's more friendly to the passing of gas. Are you going to hold it until you are back in the office?

Also, I can almost guarantee you've let them rip while pissing, probably without even realizing it. Not every fart is one that is actually heard, and if you aren't paying attention, you may mistake that odd air-rush for a benign movement of your pants.

Just saying. I know you have, whether you care to admit it or not.
Considering how many times I've heard people fart while pissing, I'd say it's not some odd medical condition like you suggest. It's more common.

Sure, the majority of us can actually hold that gas in while pissing, if we cared to. But it's less effort to just let it go while focusing on urination, versus trying to hold it in as long as you can.

You're too worried about opinions if you are trying to actively hold in a fart while pissing. Grow a pair already.

 

[GrumpyMan]

I sometimes say "Attention Please!" - just the right amount of pause - before letting out a big ripper, then chuckle to myself.

Ha ha ha....I'll have to try that one tomorrow. :biggrin:

 

[spidey07]

A good buddy at work, we call him "snicker doodle". He was pissing and let the fart go, only it wasn't a fart and his britches looked like a snicker doodle candy bar.

You have to be really tight with your co-workers for them to share the "I had a snicker doodle moment" with you.

 

[lupi]

I bet you go into the toilet stalls to pee too.

those people need to DIAF

 

[LOL_Wut_Axel]

A good buddy at work, we call him "snicker doodle". He was pissing and let the fart go, only it wasn't a fart and his britches looked like a snicker doodle candy bar.

You have to be really tight with your co-workers for them to share the "I had a snicker doodle moment" with you.

Holy crap!

 

[PimpJuice]

at my workplace, there's a line of about 10 urinals and it gets pretty crowded at times.
almost every time i walk by, a couple of them will be letting out quick short ones.

are they having control issues?

Do you act the same IRL as you do on here? If so, I'd fart on you too because you're a moron.

 

[spidey07]

Holy crap!

Tell me it hasn't happened to you. If not, you're too young and it will happen. Oh yes, it WILL happen. That innocent fart you thought you could just release while pissing, nope, that's no fart. That's liquid snicker doodle poo.

There is a reason why the term "slider" exists. And it's not the burger kind.

 

[LOL_Wut_Axel]

Tell me it hasn't happened to you. If not, you're too young and it will happen. Oh yes, it WILL happen. That innocent fart you thought you could just release while pissing, nope, that's no fart. That's liquid snicker doodle poo.

There is a reason why the term "slider" exists.

No!!! Why are you wishing for these things to happen to me? D:

 

[spidey07]

No!!! Why are you wishing for these things to happen to me? D:

I'm not wishing it, but it is going to happen. And after that, you won't let that sphincter relax so much when taking a piss.

 

[qliveur]

Spidey's right.

Buttsnot happens.

 

[SMOGZINN]

There is no foul in farting in a bathroom. ever.

This, always this.

I ALWAYS have to shake more than 3 times... and it's no fun.

I know what you mean, it takes a few more shakes to get the last little bit past the dip in in the middle.

 

[LOL_Wut_Axel]

I'm not wishing it, but it is going to happen. And after that, you won't let that sphincter relax so much when taking a piss.

Spidey's right.

Buttsnot happens.

:'(

 

[Jeff7]

Why not? What has it got to do with you? If someone wants to have a private spit in the urinal why peeing, WTF business is it of yours?

I just wanted to figure out some clever way of annoying you, and it appears I've succeeded.

You don't have the sinus drainage that I have to deal with.

And with that said, most of times that I spit, it's not a neat clear fluid that resembles drool - no no, it's rather disgusting looking.
...

This GIF is so very useful:

Ok, if there's a valid reason for it, I can let that pass. Though, well...and I'll probably regret saying this, but......I'd usually just end up swallowing that kind of mucous. Though if I'd be sick with something and it was especially gross, then I'd probably get to a bathroom and start gagging up grotesque gobs of ghastly goo.

Where would you prefer I spit?

Damn my cross-linked and totally not-gay brain. First thing that came to mind was semi-Monty-Python.
"Spit on my faaaaaace and tell me that you love me."
:|

Bodily functions need to not be something we need to be grossed out by. It's not like I'm attempting to mark territory or anything (though for some guys, that could be the unconscious drive responsible). Same goes for sneezing, farting, belching. Why do we even waste breath acknowledging these bodily functions? We all do it, we've learned it's not a demon possessing us. Our body does some incredibly nasty things inside, and well, sometimes it escapes the confinement of the meatbag known as our body. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable to do anything but get rid of something our body would rather push out.

I guess some taboos do have at least some level of benefit. Being conditioned to be grossed out by things like feces can serve to be a deterrent from potentially unhealthy things like using it as a substitute for modeling clay, or urine as a refreshingly warm and bubbly beverage. (Is anyone eating while reading this thread? You're welcome.)

I do find it amusing though that we have to make some verbal statement of things like burping or sneezing though. The urge of some people to administer "bless you" after a sneeze is quite powerful, to the point where some will get up from another room to walk over and say it, or yell through a wall, or something like that. I live by myself, and I do sneeze sometimes. I have yet to die or succumb to demonic infestation as a result of unblessed sneezes.

Seriously, we are too much of a pansy-ass nation if we are offended by 100% natural bodily functions. Mammals are actually some of the worst offenders for everyday bodily functions, and we happen to be such a creature.

Have you read stuff that a certain noteworthy someone posted in the apocalypse thread? Speech, written or otherwise, could be considered a natural bodily function, and, well, "offensive" might not be quite the right term for it.

(Other fun stuff to think about: Not only do we secrete oils from our skin, but I consider hair to be another kind of secretion, or rather an extrusion, rather like using one of those Play-doh molds to make the figure "grow" a head of hair. What freaks of nature we are, just like everything else. )

 

[tcsenter]

A good buddy at work, we call him "snicker doodle". He was pissing and let the fart go, only it wasn't a fart and his britches looked like a snicker doodle candy bar.

This thread delivers the lulz!

Srsly, though. Some people have IBS that is aggravated by foods rich in saturated fats, especially from meats or dairy, that can increase the risk of streaking (anal leakage). I streaked a few underwear in my mid-30s until I changed my diet to eat a lot more low-starch veggies, beans, nuts, and whole grains (fiber yo), less red or fatty meat, less fried foods, and a lot less dairy.

 

[spidey07]

This thread delivers the lulz!

Srsly, though. Some people have IBS that is aggravated by foods rich in saturated fats, especially from meats or dairy, that can increase the risk of streaking (anal leakage). I streaked a few underwear in my mid-30s until I changed my diet to eat a lot more low-starch veggies, beans, nuts, and whole grains (fiber yo), less red or fatty meat, less fried foods, and a lot less dairy.

Snicker doodle is a runner. Marathon runner. Arm shaving, body shaving runner. He's a runner alright. Right into his britches when he takes a leak.

High five!

 

[zinfamous]

Just think, each anal emission is releasing poo particles into the air that you are touching and even breathing in.

it's OK though, because the cellphone waves and microwaves floating through the air sterilize the poo particles.

...I call it "implied sterilization"

 

[zinfamous]

those people need to DIAF

I make sure to piss all over the seat. yes, the seat. not the rim.

 

[Leros]

If there are 4 urinals and I'm at number 1, and someone comes in and comes to number 2 urinal, then this means he is GAY. Hurry up and get out of there.

Nah. He just wants to be friends. Lean over, shake hands, and introduce yourself.

 

[MovingTarget]

I make sure to piss all over the seat. yes, the seat. not the rim.

Do you walk around in the summertime sayin' "How about this heat!"?

 

[zinfamous]

Do you walk around in the summertime sayin' "How about this heat!"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs

 

[Shawn]

So I take it you hold all your farts until you get home?

 

[MovingTarget]

So I take it you hold all your farts until you get home?

Why would you? Work is the best place to drop an air biscuit or two. Boss riding your chops? Crop-dust the office. Customers really stink? Class up the joint. Don't get paid enough? Leave an appropriate comment...