c'mon, thats not fair. you shouldn't generalize like that. I would only do that to get back at her.
c'mon, thats not fair. you shouldn't generalize like that. I would only do that to get back at her.
Sealy
Platinum Member
- Aug 4, 2002
- 2,438
- 1
- 71
I think it completely depends on the couple. Some couple's are okay with their mate flirting...it depends how strong they are as a couple! Personally I think it's funny when my fiance flirts with other girls...especially when he gets shot down! I know he's just playing around and at the end of the day he's coming home to me! I trust him so there is no issue.
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,447
- 133
- 106
Only if both parties percieve it to be so. If one party doesn't think so, it becomes a respect issue; do you respect their feelings on the issue?
Provided it STAYS flirting and doesn't turn into a situation where you are leading someone on.
Peace,
Dezign
I think most people will agree to that. But I think another part comes from how well the couple knows each other and
formed trust between them. I guess respect could go hand in hand with trust in this situation.
My question is whats your defintion of leading someone on coming from the female side?
Couples that have different views of what leading someone on is will probably lead to
some heated arguments?
Takes two to flirt...
Also takes two to agree it's okay to flirt.... It doesn't matter what people think, gotta work it out between the couple.
Also takes two to agree it's okay to flirt.... It doesn't matter what people think, gotta work it out between the couple.
Ciber
Platinum Member
- Nov 20, 2000
- 2,531
- 30
- 91
Just flirting with a guy is leading him on, unless you make it crystal clear that it's just flirting and you're not gonna screw him. Now i'm not saying all guys think a girl flirting with them means 'she wants to screw me', but a good amount of the guys do think it is.
Anubis
No Lifer
:Q if I didn't know you lived on the West Coast, I'd swear you were my fiancee covertly signing onto the forums! Sounds just like her.
Trust is the pivotal issue here, folks - do you trust that your significant other will just flirt and no more? My fiancee and I go out to clubs & dance and such. She flirts with the guys in our group, I flirt with the girls, the entire crowd of us is just having harmless fun and we all know it. Like I said before - "Doesn't matter where you work up the appetite, just go home for dinner!"
The ... ahem ... "interesting" situations come in when there's a third party involved. If some random girl starts cozying up to me and getting a little too friendly, I don't lead them on - it usually gets curbed by my fiancee's swift presence at my side. Ditto for guys; however, your average horny college pervert provides the leading on by himself. In their minds, flirting equals "OMG I'm gonna SCORE!" and proceed to the attempts to grab/kiss/etc quickly. And that's when the beanbags get kicked. :Q
Male leading female on = being a "nice guy", talking, buying drinks, etc. Basically, amounts to being a GREAT person - but he won't ever call if you give him your number; unless he's drunk and looking for a booty call.
Female leading male on = "Hi." That's it. Like I said, most college horndogs think that they are the greatest gift to women since the vibrator, and that every woman they meet wants their personally flavoured Boxer Sausage®. (Sidebar to women - saying you're a lesbian does NOT work. In fact, it may worsen the situation.)
- M4H
LOL Sealy... that took me a while to understand. But to answer your question, my gf doesn't want me to flirt, yet she says it's ok for her to flirt. Her flirtation means nothing to her (or so she says). But the kicker is that she KNOWS its wrong, but despite knowing that, she still believes it's ok for her to flirt but not for me to flirt. I suppose I can just blame that on immaturity, as she's 19 and I'm 23. Not to mention we've only been together for a little over 3 months. But still, this hypocrisy just annoys me...
This is EXACTLY the mentality I'm talking about. I interpret what luvly is saying to mean that it's more ok for a woman to flirt than for a man to flirt. What's up with this double standard? Flirting is flirting no matter if a guy or girl is the one doing it. Then, judging by what luvly is saying, if it means more to the guy than it does for the girl, it would appear that the girl is leading on the guy with whom she's flirting. How does that make it ok for the girl to flirt then? To me, that's a slap in the girl's bf's face...
typo...
To me, it's an issue of mutual respect when you're in a relationship. I respect my lady friend and make an effort not to be overtly flirtacious with other women, as I would prefer she do. (With men in her case, flirting with other women would raise something else all together. )
)
Ciber
Platinum Member
- Nov 20, 2000
- 2,531
- 30
- 91
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
:Q if I didn't know you lived on the West Coast, I'd swear you were my fiancee covertly signing onto the forums! Sounds just like her.
Trust is the pivotal issue here, folks - do you trust that your significant other will just flirt and no more? My fiancee and I go out to clubs & dance and such. She flirts with the guys in our group, I flirt with the girls, the entire crowd of us is just having harmless fun and we all know it. Like I said before - "Doesn't matter where you work up the appetite, just go home for dinner!"
The ... ahem ... "interesting" situations come in when there's a third party involved. If some random girl starts cozying up to me and getting a little too friendly, I don't lead them on - it usually gets curbed by my fiancee's swift presence at my side. Ditto for guys; however, your average horny college pervert provides the leading on by himself. In their minds, flirting equals "OMG I'm gonna SCORE!" and proceed to the attempts to grab/kiss/etc quickly. And that's when the beanbags get kicked. :Q
Male leading female on = being a "nice guy", talking, buying drinks, etc. Basically, amounts to being a GREAT person - but he won't ever call if you give him your number; unless he's drunk and looking for a booty call.
Female leading male on = "Hi." That's it. Like I said, most college horndogs think that they are the greatest gift to women since the vibrator, and that every woman they meet wants their personally flavoured Boxer Sausage®. (Sidebar to women - saying you're a lesbian does NOT work. In fact, it may worsen the situation.)
- M4H
This is exactly what i've been saying, you can trust your GF all you want but that wont stop the horndog from trying to jump her bones just because he thinks she wants him, and all it takes is a little flirting. After that happens the girl is all shocked and dumbfounded and wondering what in the world happened and then comes crying to you that this guy was rude or mean or disrectful because he tried to kiss her or grab her.
This is the reason why i never flirt or even get too friendy with people unless i know them very well, because you never know what the other person is thinking.
Maybe I'm just immature here, but the whole idea of the "i dont care where you get your appetite, just go home for dinner thing". I mean, I wouldn't want my gf to be getting all worked up and horney because she's been hitting on or flirting with some great looking ripped guy, and then comming home to me. Its not me thats giving her excitement, its some other guy. Sure I get laid, but this fantasy guy is what made her excited.
Also, this whole issue could be just me. I know that I have very low self-esteem and a lot of these things always get me in a bad mood.
Also, this whole issue could be just me. I know that I have very low self-esteem and a lot of these things always get me in a bad mood.
You mean you've thought about Janet Reno while you're getting down? Might work wonders for your stamina if nothing else.
Any reasonable person would agree that it is impossible to know what someone else is thinking 100% of the time -- no matter how well you know them. So justifying flirting by saying that the other person "doesn't think they're gonna score" doesn't work.
I also don't understand the reasoning that flirting is okay if "you're not gonna act on it." Flirting is an act. So is touching an arm. So is holding hands. So is kissing, and so is having sex. "Yeah, but flirting is innocent, and doesn't mean anything," you're probably thinking. Well, what if I say that making out doesn't mean anything to me?!? I can do it then, right? Inside, you know that this rationale doesn't work either.
Here's the way I think about it: People flirt because they like attention from the other sex (or the same sex, depending on the person). Just like I am completely satisfied with her, my girlfriend/wife should be completely satisfied with me. She shouldn't be needing attention from other guys. If she does... then we have a problem.
I also don't understand the reasoning that flirting is okay if "you're not gonna act on it." Flirting is an act. So is touching an arm. So is holding hands. So is kissing, and so is having sex. "Yeah, but flirting is innocent, and doesn't mean anything," you're probably thinking. Well, what if I say that making out doesn't mean anything to me?!? I can do it then, right? Inside, you know that this rationale doesn't work either.
Here's the way I think about it: People flirt because they like attention from the other sex (or the same sex, depending on the person). Just like I am completely satisfied with her, my girlfriend/wife should be completely satisfied with me. She shouldn't be needing attention from other guys. If she does... then we have a problem.
Exactly...
Thumper is a huge flirt, she flirts with customers at work (hey, it gets her big tips), she flirts with the guys at her office job (makes the day go easier), and she sometimes flirts with cute guys when we're going out. Whenever she does it in front of me, it is for effect and she always takes my hand or hugs me or whatever...
Myself, I don't generally flirt in front of her, just feels weird... Away from her, I do flirt somewhat, but never seriouslly.
Grasshopper
Originally posted by: Nemesis77
You seriously expect someone to know the answer to that one
Its simple really.
Their women, thats why they are irrational, it's who they are, a rational woman would be....a man....because the term woman cannot be used in conjuntion with rational. Unless of course you are saying "No woman in the history of the world is/was/ever will be rational" then its ok.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 23K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter