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Officially the unofficial countdown to the end of the world thread: Doomsday!

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DangerAardvark said:
Someone should forcibly rapture that crusty, old, lying piece of shit.
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If these were strict Old Testament times in Israel, he would be killed, according to the Bible:

"'But the prophet who speaks a word presumptuously in My name which I have not commanded him to speak, or which he speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die.

You may say in your heart, 'How will we know the word which the LORD has not spoken?' When a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the thing does not come about or come true, that is the thing which the LORD has not spoken The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him."- Deuteronomy 18:20-22
 
To Do List for Judgment Day:
(to ensure you are worthy to be raptured)

1. Delete all porn off your PC.
2. Unblock everyone you ever blocked on FaceBook.
3. Accept all your waiting friend requests on FaceBook.
4. Call your mom, apologize for the rotten kid you were.
5. Call you boss and cuss him/her out.
6. Call your boss and apologize for previous phone call.
7. Give all your savings to that kid you always told "I gave at the office".
8. Delete AMERICAN IDOL from your Tivo "series pass" list.
9. Feed the dog and or cat (a lot).
10. Cancel cable.
11. Double check that you deleted all the porn off the PC.
12. Shower, shave and dress up in something really pretty.
13. Pack a jug of bottled water. just incase of a long wait.
14. Pack a parachute just incase GOD has second thoughts while you are ascending.
15. Take plenty of pocket change. Especially quarters.
16. Admit to your spouse that you really did put that dent in the car fender.
17. Have a nice day !!!
 
Why delete all porn? Since the world's going to end, you might as well bolster the ol' porn collection with anything you were scared of getting before.

(And besides, the crazies who are behind this latest rapture thing say that your worthiness was determined at the time of the Universe's creation, so there's not anything you can do about it anyway.)
 
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As the same people who thought it was all going to end today are the ones who think the Bible is true, and they took this date 'with 100% certainty' from the Bible, do they admit they suck at interpreting what's in the Bible, or do they want to say that the Bible was wrong in this prediction? 😉
 
How about GO OUTSIDE! Can't really ascend up to heaven if you bonk your head on the ceiling, now can you? Speaking of bonking your head on the ceiling, I had a llama that was being obnoxious yesterday when I put a halter and lead rope on him. He reared up, trying to get away from me, and smacked his head on the ceiling. Knocked himself out cold.

Now, if God calls you up, you're not going to want to spend the rest of your life on Earth telling people how you hit your head on the ceiling, and when you regained consciousness, God was gone. Go outside.
 
I've been out looting most of the morning and it's like Black Friday shopping out there. All the best stores are mobbed and parking is a bitch. I knew I shouldn't have waited until the last minute.

Note to self: Next rapture start earlier.
 
Capt Caveman said:
What 6pm time zone is this going to happen? Want to be prepared.
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And do DST rules come into play?

If they do, that means that Jesus/God abide by our legislation governing the observance of time. So if that's true, then we could just pass new legislation stating that 6:00pm shall never be observed. The time shall go from 5:59pm to 6:01pm; 6:01pm shall encompass 120 seconds.
 
Jeff7 said:
And do DST rules come into play?

If they do, that means that Jesus/God abide by our legislation governing the observance of time. So if that's true, then we could just pass new legislation stating that 6:00pm shall never be observed. The time shall go from 5:59pm to 6:01pm; 6:01pm shall encompass 120 seconds.
Click to expand...

It's EST. The guy who made this all up was living in NYC.

I can't wait.
 
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