Odd phone habit

[MotionMan]

I have a business associate who, no matter when I call him, he never answers the phone. Sometimes he calls me back after a little while. Other times he seems to call me back instantly. This has gone on for months.

Yesterday, he called me back almost as my hand was leaving the phone from calling him. I finally asked him about it.

He said that he never answers the phone. He always lets it go to voicemail, even if the callerID shows him it is someone he would be willing to talk to. (He gave some excuses for why he does this, but, to me, they did not make a lot of sense and I just think it is some habit that has no real basis.)

So I confirmed with him - he never answers the phone. If he ever speaks with someone on the phone, it is because he called them initially or called them back.

So I asked him, "What happens if someone else did exactly the same thing - How do you ever speak to each other on the phone?"

... chirp ... chirp ...

"Hmmmm. That's a very good question..." He mumbled.

MotionMan

 

[Crono]

So he nevers answers the phone. Got it.

Most you can do is tell him its annoying and inconsiderate. If he doesn't change, then you really can't force him.

 

[illusion88]

I only let it go to voice mail if it's inconvenient for me to answer, or I don't want to speak to that person. I screen some of my calls, like if work calls me I will almost never answer the phone.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: MotionMan

So I asked him, "What happens if someone else did exactly the same thing - How do you ever speak to each other on the phone?"

... chirp ... chirp ...

"Hmmmm. That's a very good question..." He mumbled.

MotionMan

try him until he gives in.

 

[kranky]

For him, it's a way to control others. He feels that if he answers a call, the other person has taken control of his time.

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: kranky
For him, it's a way to control others. He feels that if he answers a call, the other person has taken control of his time.

This is actually a logical explanation. I like it.

Good question you sent back to him Motion... weird habit.

 

[daniel1113]

Meh. I do the same thing.

 

[joesmoke]

sounds like a shut-in and a weirdo. you should rape his face.

 

[MrDudeMan]

It is quite rude and inconsiderate. There's no other way to look at it. If you are in a place where you can't answer the phone, that's one thing, but to always screen calls regardless of the situation is just stupid. I don't call people who do that anymore and eventually they get the hint.

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
It is quite rude and inconsiderate. There's no other way to look at it. If you are in a place where you can't answer the phone, that's one thing, but to always screen calls regardless of the situation is just stupid. I don't call people who do that anymore and eventually they get the hint.

I do not have a choice in this situation, unfortunately.

He is otherwise a nice and fairly normal guy.

As I have said many times: "Everyone has got their thing."

MotionMan

 

[tefleming]

Originally posted by: MotionMan

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
It is quite rude and inconsiderate. There's no other way to look at it. If you are in a place where you can't answer the phone, that's one thing, but to always screen calls regardless of the situation is just stupid. I don't call people who do that anymore and eventually they get the hint.

I do not have a choice in this situation, unfortunately.

He is otherwise a nice and fairly normal guy.

As I have said many times: "Everyone has got their thing."

MotionMan

No IM or email option?

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: tefleming

Originally posted by: MotionMan

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
It is quite rude and inconsiderate. There's no other way to look at it. If you are in a place where you can't answer the phone, that's one thing, but to always screen calls regardless of the situation is just stupid. I don't call people who do that anymore and eventually they get the hint.

I do not have a choice in this situation, unfortunately.

He is otherwise a nice and fairly normal guy.

As I have said many times: "Everyone has got their thing."

MotionMan

No IM or email option?

Somethings I need to talk to him about on the phone. I suppose I can initiate the conversation by e-mail, but I usually just pick up the phone and dial. Then, when I get his vm, I slap my forehead, leave a message and anticipate his call.

MotionMan

 

[RadiclDreamer]

Tell him to stop being a dick

 

[SMOGZINN]

Originally posted by: MotionMan
So I asked him, "What happens if someone else did exactly the same thing - How do you ever speak to each other on the phone?"

I tend to do the same thing. The answer to your question is, if they don't answer their phone then I don't need to talk to them. A message will do just fine.

I know you guys think he is being a dick or what ever by not answering his phone, but try to remember it is HIS phone, and he is under no obligation to answer it because YOU want some of his time.

I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: MotionMan

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
It is quite rude and inconsiderate. There's no other way to look at it. If you are in a place where you can't answer the phone, that's one thing, but to always screen calls regardless of the situation is just stupid. I don't call people who do that anymore and eventually they get the hint.

I do not have a choice in this situation, unfortunately.

He is otherwise a nice and fairly normal guy.

As I have said many times: "Everyone has got their thing."

MotionMan

I don't buy that. Being inconsiderate is not an acceptable quirk. Not liking green Skittles or the heel of a loaf of bread is a quirk. This is just flat out stupid.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN

Originally posted by: MotionMan
So I asked him, "What happens if someone else did exactly the same thing - How do you ever speak to each other on the phone?"

I tend to do the same thing. The answer to your question is, if they don't answer their phone then I don't need to talk to them. A message will do just fine.

I know you guys think he is being a dick or what ever by not answering his phone, but try to remember it is HIS phone, and he is under no obligation to answer it because YOU want some of his time.

I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

He is not obligated, but it is definitely the polite and socially acceptable thing to do. If you give someone your phone number and never answer their calls, then it was pointless. IMO this behavior is unacceptable. If it was someone I had to call, I would do whatever was necessary to make it stop. If I wasn't required to call this person, then I wouldn't and they would either realize it or just not be my friend anymore. It is selfish behavior that most likely isn't isolated to just phone call etiquette.

It is controlling and sends a message that whoever you are and whatever you need, you aren't important enough to talk to me on your time. It MUST be on my time. This is definitely not how relationships work.

 

[kranky]

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN
I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

Is that really what you meant to say? Email is better and faster at resolving issues than a phone call?

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN

Originally posted by: MotionMan
So I asked him, "What happens if someone else did exactly the same thing - How do you ever speak to each other on the phone?"

I tend to do the same thing. The answer to your question is, if they don't answer their phone then I don't need to talk to them. A message will do just fine.

I know you guys think he is being a dick or what ever by not answering his phone, but try to remember it is HIS phone, and he is under no obligation to answer it because YOU want some of his time.

I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

I wish. In my business, sometimes it is like pulling teeth to get the info I need. Though, in reality, I am trying to help them, I cannot just tell them to go to hell - I need the info to do my job.

MotionMan

 

[Crusty]

Originally posted by: kranky

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN
I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

Is that really what you meant to say? Email is better and faster at resolving issues than a phone call?

Depends on the industry IMO. When dealing with software engineering I much prefer e-mails over phone calls because often times there will be code files to look at, or debugging output which can be hard to dictate over the phone.

As far as phone calls go, if it's a number I know I'll answer otherwise it goes to voicemail.

 

[Leros]

I knew somebody like this. He never answers his phone, but will call you back if you leave a message explaining why you called. His cell phone was always off, unless he need to make a call. He would turn his cell on, make his call, then turn it back off.

Then he would complain that nobody ever invited him to hang out. Strange behavior.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Originally posted by: MotionMan
Somethings I need to talk to him about on the phone. I suppose I can initiate the conversation by e-mail, but I usually just pick up the phone and dial. Then, when I get his vm, I slap my forehead, leave a message and anticipate his call.

MotionMan

Send him an e-mail telling him to call you. Then don't answer. Call him back immediately. See what he does. If he doesn't answer your callback, he's the biggest prick ever, and you should kill him with a toner cartridge.

 

[Chryso]

Stop answering his calls.

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: Chryso
Stop answering his calls.

That is not really a feasible option for me.

MotionMan

 

[SMOGZINN]

Originally posted by: kranky

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN
I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

Is that really what you meant to say? Email is better and faster at resolving issues than a phone call?

Absolutely! What are you going to get from me in person that could not have been put in an email?
Most of the time on the phone is spent in pointless small talk. The odds of there being a bad misunderstanding increases drastically when dealing with voice. There is only a few things that are not done better over email, and those are done better face 2 face then voice.

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
It is controlling and sends a message that whoever you are and whatever you need, you aren't important enough to talk to me on your time. It MUST be on my time. This is definitely not how relationships work.

That is exactly what I'm trying to tell you, the sooner you understand it the better.
I'm not at work to be your friend. I'm here to get work done.

As for personal friends and family I look on CID to decide if I want to talk to them right now or not. If not I let it go and call them back when I feel like it. Don't like it? Too bad. I probably don't want a needy person like you as a friend anyway.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN

Originally posted by: kranky

Originally posted by: SMOGZINN
I've never met a business issue that could not be better and faster resolved over email.

Is that really what you meant to say? Email is better and faster at resolving issues than a phone call?

Absolutely! What are you going to get from me in person that could not have been put in an email?
Most of the time on the phone is spent in pointless small talk. The odds of there being a bad misunderstanding increases drastically when dealing with voice. There is only a few things that are not done better over email, and those are done better face 2 face then voice.

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
It is controlling and sends a message that whoever you are and whatever you need, you aren't important enough to talk to me on your time. It MUST be on my time. This is definitely not how relationships work.

That is exactly what I'm trying to tell you, the sooner you understand it the better.
I'm not at work to be your friend. I'm here to get work done.

As for personal friends and family I look on CID to decide if I want to talk to them right now or not. If not I let it go and call them back when I feel like it. Don't like it? Too bad. I probably don't want a needy person like you as a friend anyway.

You are at work to get work done and so is he. Your logic completely fails. You effectively added twice as much overhead and reduced both your and his efficiency by dodging his work call. Idiot.

I'm absolutely not a needy person and I'm not sure how you made that leap when all I meant is people who like to control others are selfish. You took exception so clearly you fit the bill. I rarely call people on my phone and when I do it is important so they answer. I do the same. Most of my calls are less than 1 minute and the majority of those are less than 30 seconds.

Speaking over the phone carries pitch and tone that goes a long way toward the intent of the message they are trying to communicate to you. Work or private life, this is relevant. You are way off base if you think an email has the capability to deliver a message with less possibility for misunderstanding than a phone call. That goes against everything I've ever learned and read on this subject. I do plenty, if not most, of my communication over email especially if it isn't important, so I understand what you are saying.