Observations about bullying

[FM2n]

Kids these days lack social interaction. The suicide is a result of people looking uglier in person than their facebook profile picture. I call it enlightenment.

 

[meltdown75]

here's the story i was talking about. i remembered his name over lunch - Myles Neuts.

http://www.makechildrenbetternow.com/about-mcbn/1-myles-story/2-myles-story

so sad. RIP Myles

 

[Codewiz]

Kids these days lack social interaction. The suicide is a result of people looking uglier in person than their facebook profile picture. I call it enlightenment.

Most kids are in daycare these days. They get tons of social interaction between the ages of 0-5.

 

[sdifox]

here's the story i was talking about. i remembered his name over lunch - Myles Neuts.

http://www.makechildrenbetternow.com/about-mcbn/1-myles-story/2-myles-story

so sad. RIP Myles

sigh, people, proofread!

"and for all intense and purposes, he was gone."

 

[xanis]

Kids are just inherently mean. it's been prevalent for ages. It was portrayed pretty well in 'Lord of the Flies'.

But I would have to put an onus on the parents to train these kids for a harsh reality. It's today's sheltered mentality that are blindsiding these kids and aren't prepared to deal with it. That and the parents need to play an active role in actual "parenting". Parents these days rely too much on schools and tv programs to raise their kids so they never develop good communication with each other. But the way society is geared toward achieving the "American Dream", it's no surprise that parenting takes a back seat to financial prosperity in a lot of cases.

Well said. It seems to me that when kids come home crying that some bully was mean to them, the parents' first reaction is to call the school or the other kid's parents instead of talking to their child and having THEM solve their own problem.

 

[Blackjack200]

Now we're blaming a 10 year old girl for killing herself? Stay classy ATOT.

For all the idiots telling her to "get off facebook", don't be so clueless. The issue is not that the bullied kid is using facebook. The issue is that tools like facebook facilitate coordiation among the bullies that was not possible before. In the past you might have had to deal with a couple of kids or a small group talking about you behind your back, now bullies can isolate and torment someone very effectively. It's not what happens on facebook on a given night; it's what happens the next day at school as a result.

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

hey, i got the conch, shut up!!

That conch has been smashed to pieces like your dreams!

 

[moshquerade]

So when your only recourse is to cut yourself off from a good portion of your peers, enjoying what they enjoy, "hanging out" with them online and being a kid (lets face it being online is a major part of being a kid nowadays), THAT is a solution? Isolation? C'mon Mosh. You know better.

ffs, why would you go there (online) if someone is threatening/abusing you? that's not enjoyment. you know how internet bullies are, they are relentless, and yet some of these kids are so starved for attention they keep going back for more. eventually they get overwhelmed and it consumes their whole lives. You'd want your kid to stay online for this because all of his/her friends are online and you don't want to isolate him/her?

it's like that tween that 4chan brought down, she kept going back for more abuse. her dumbass father actually yelled for her to get off the internet which was a cause for her break down, but no.... she kept going back.
this girl SHOULD be isolated from the internet. it has become an unhealthy place for her to spend her time.

 

[highland145]

Sounds like it goes back to the parenting.

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

some kid died in my hometown when some bullies grabbed him by the backpack and hung him up in the bathroom... he couldn't get down and he died that way. somehow his air supply was cut off. sad. what a way to go.

Yeah. That's basically like being crucified without the nails.

ffs, why would you go there (online) if someone is threatening/abusing you? that's not enjoyment. you know how internet bullies are, they are relentless, and yet some of these kids are so starved for attention they keep going back for more. eventually they get overwhelmed and it consumes their whole lives. You'd want your kid to stay online for this because all of his/her friends are online and you don't want to isolate him/her?

it's like that tween that 4chan brought down, she kept going back for more abuse. her dumbass father actually yelled for her to get off the internet which was a cause for her break down, but no.... she kept going back.
this girl SHOULD be isolated from the internet. it has become an unhealthy place for her to spend her time.

I think the point is that it doesn't make sense. Why should someone be upset if they don't have the same shirt or jeans or whatever as everyone else? Why make such a big deal over some toy that's going to be completely forgotten in 2 years' time? What's the point of verbally abusing someone when the words don't actually mean anything unless they want them to? To my mind it's like telling someone with depression to 'snap out of it' and 'go be happy'. It's not as easy as that. I've got a couple of friends who have depression, and they say that they get a feeling of worthlessness, but whatever they 'know' logically and whatever anyone tells them, they can't shake that feeling and it becomes overpowering.

 

[roguerower]

Sounds like it goes back to the parenting.

Always does. But it's always a constant battle between nature & nurture.

Naturally kids are vicious little shits
Most grow out of it as they get older, but some don't. Why? Parenting.

You can blame society all you want but in the end it's up to the parents.

 

[PingSpike]

I was bullied as a kid because I went to a upper-middle class school and I was from a poor single parent home.

I agree with others, if I had to deal with that crap 24/7, it would have been really tough. As it was, it ended when I went home. I played with my friends and bullying was only something that happened at school and other activities that included some of the kids from school.

For instance, I was in boy scouts and I was at a summer camp with the scouts. Some of the bullies from school were in my troop but typically it was never an issue. At camp, it was horrible. I told the scout master but that did nothing to fix it. One night at the mess hall, they started picking on me, I got up grabbed plate of food and glass of juice and threw it at the worst offender. That stopped it. I got in trouble but it was worth it because they stopped messing with me.

This is one thing that has changed for the worse. Not only does the administration do nothing to help the victims, they often punish them for defending themselves. It makes it seem like the whole world is against you. There's often a policy to punish everyone involved in a fight, and of course this punishment doesn't matter for some douche bully kid that has parents that never gave a shit to begin with while its disproportionately worse for the victim in many instances.

The same kind idea with adults when its some one who a career and family versus some sack of trash. Since they never built anything to lose they're that much more likely to do horrible things because they were already wallowing in pig shit. But if you have a family to look out for you're hamstrung because you might lose your job or your ability to get another job, and if you go to prison even for a short while your family will suffer.

 

[Kadarin]

I don't think human nature is any different now than it was 20, 30, or 40 years ago. I think we're hearing more about it now because someone on the CNN staff has probably made it into a personal crusade and that's why we're seeing stories about it every day now.

 

[PingSpike]

Well said. It seems to me that when kids come home crying that some bully was mean to them, the parents' first reaction is to call the school or the other kid's parents instead of talking to their child and having THEM solve their own problem.

No one really "solves" these problems. We eventually just mature enough that we learn to identify them early and avoid them. And when we cannot avoid we learn to endure them. A lot of people here are trying to apply the reason and experience they've gained by virtue of having survived to adulthood to children who do not have those attributes.

Does no one else remember having their innocence crushed as a child? Or did everyone on ATOT come screaming out of the womb wearing war paint, decapitating all enemies before going on to become captain of the football team banging the head cheerleader?

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

No one really "solves" these problems. We eventually just mature enough that we learn to identify them early and avoid them. And when we cannot avoid we learn to endure them. A lot of people here are trying to apply the reason and experience they've gained by virtue of having survived to adulthood to children who do not have those attributes.

Does no one else remember having their innocence crushed as a child? Or did everyone on ATOT come screaming out of the womb wearing war paint, decapitating all enemies before going on to become captain of the football team banging the head cheerleader?

This is very true. I also believe too many focus on the inability of the victim to cope, instead of how to end the bullying. Avoidance does not end the bullying.

 

[highland145]

Or did everyone on ATOT come screaming out of the womb wearing war paint, decapitating all enemies before going on to become captain of the football team banging the head cheerleader?

Have we met?

 

[ZOOYUKA]

I think we're hearing more about it now because someone on the CNN staff has probably made it into a personal crusade and that's why we're seeing stories about it every day now.

I think it is being covered more because the media loves to sensationalize things. The media media is just plastering the faces of young white kids on the news to sell their story.

Also, people are known to commit suicide after getting fired from their job or after they get a divorce. Maybe the media should start a crusade against firings and divorces.

 

[Baasha]

Now we're blaming a 10 year old girl for killing herself? Stay classy ATOT.

Agreed! Can't believe the lack of sympathy people these days have. It is one thing to not care about some criminal who gets shot by police but to be completely oblivious to the pain and suffering these kids' families must be going through is appalling.

Sad, but true that social networks and the Internet have deeply exacerbated the bullying phenomenon. Bullying has existed from time immemorial in different forms and ways. Yet, it is the ability for kids to team up on one person and torment them after school or in isolation that is shocking and brutal.

I would go out on a limb and say that girls seem to be far more mean than boys when it comes to bullying. As Bernard Shaw said, "The female of the species is deadlier!"

I've been bullied in high school (kicked and punched) and when I complained to the teacher, he told me to essentially 'grow a pair'. So I grew a pair of fists and knocked the shit out of the bullies and they stopped!

Unfortunately, not everyone can do that so it is really important that responsible adults (teachers, parents) be made aware of the situation and help the kids deal with it. Schools should educate kids about these things too; social interaction comes through tactful diplomacy; fists and legs come into the picture only when things escalate too far. Again, IMO.

My heartfelt condolences go out to those families who have lost a child to this terrible phenomenon.

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

No one really "solves" these problems. We eventually just mature enough that we learn to identify them early and avoid them. And when we cannot avoid we learn to endure them. A lot of people here are trying to apply the reason and experience they've gained by virtue of having survived to adulthood to children who do not have those attributes.

Does no one else remember having their innocence crushed as a child? Or did everyone on ATOT come screaming out of the womb wearing war paint, decapitating all enemies before going on to become captain of the football team banging the head cheerleader?

A lot of these experiences can be a lot easier to swallow when parents do their part and regulary impart life lessons to their children. Like any obstacle, they are better handled when the person is well prepared. The people in the best position to do this preparation are the parents. Unless you'd rather waste tax dollars have mandatory social interaction classes in elementary and junior high school.

 

[alkemyst]

I think it is being covered more because the media loves to sensationalize things. The media media is just plastering the faces of young white kids on the news to sell their story.

Also, people are known to commit suicide after getting fired from their job or after they get a divorce. Maybe the media should start a crusade against firings and divorces.

Historically kids were unlikely to commit suicide.

While they are sensationalizing it, it's not like it's always been happening.

Also in the past you didn't have parents and adults helping it.

 

[moshquerade]

This is very true. I also believe too many focus on the inability of the victim to cope, instead of how to end the bullying. Avoidance does not end the bullying.

Great point. I would bet school's aren't paying speakers to come in telling students how to cope with bullying and people who antagonize you, but DO have these people coming in for assemblies talking about why you shouldn't bully people. Also, sending teachers to workshops on how to spot and stop bullying instead of teaching students how to deflect/disengage bullies AND not let a bully get into your psyche!

 

[ZOOYUKA]

Historically kids were unlikely to commit suicide.

While they are sensationalizing it, it's not like it's always been happening.

Also in the past you didn't have parents and adults helping it.

Seriously? Teen suicide has been around as long as I can remember.

I am not trying to down play any of this, but it is just being repackaged and sold to the public differently.

 

[alkemyst]

Seriously? Teen suicide has been around as long as I can remember.

I am not trying to down play any of this, but it is just being repackaged and sold to the public differently.

Ok...just a word of advice, a statement like that needs qualification. Are you 12 or 39 like myself?

Anyway last I checked 10 years old wasn't a teenager and most of those I heard about as a kid and growing up were more 16-19 than the 13-14 and younger today.

 

[HumblePie]

Was bullied growing up just about every day. And standing up for yourself rarely makes it go away. In my experience it just made it worse. Some kid or a couple of kids try to bully and fight me and if I fight back and whip their ass, they just bring more the next day. If I beat them, it just escalates into more kids the day after until the point where I could not win.

Of course I grew up in places where either A) I was the only american kid speaking english or b) one of the few white kids around.

Once I reached my junior year of high school, it mostly stopped. Wasn't not an every day thing at all anymore.

But growing up it was rough, very rough. I can sympathize with some kids not being able to take it anymore.

 

[ZOOYUKA]

Anyway last I checked 10 years old wasn't a teenager and most of those I heard about as a kid and growing up were more 16-19 than the 13-14 and younger today.

True, that was the norm and may still be the norm. I agree I also heard mostly about older teens when I was growing up. Most of the were in and around my community. I am sure there has always been outliers to the norm. The only difference is now that the media is actively seeking out child suicides. I am sure there has been more in recent weeks that we haven't heard about, but they didn't fit the image that the media wanted.

Also, the 10 year old child is found and boom its automatically assumed that she was a victim of bullying without presenting any supporting evidence. Maybe she was a victim of molestation. Maybe she got the idea from a movie and wanted to replicate it for whatever reason. She could've been murdered by her mother who found her.

Another sad thing about the media. If it was in fact bullying we will hear the whole story. If it was something like the other possibilities I mentioned the story will evaporate.