Observations about bullying

[moshquerade]

It seems kids getting bullied is nothing new but in the news a lot more lately. Do you think kids are killing themselves over being bullied a lot more these days? If so, why do you think that is?

Thread inspired by this article I read this morning, and by stories that seem to be in the news every day about someone who had been bullied taking their own life:

The Boston school attended by a 10-year-old girl who apparently committed suicide is investigating whether bullying played a role in the child's death.

"Because of the initial report [of the apparent suicide], we, of course, jumped right in and started to talk to the principal about the student's history and relationships with other students in the school," Boston Public Schools spokesman Lee McGuire said.

Little will be known about the circumstances of the fourth-grader's death until an official autopsy report is conducted, McGuire said.

It's unclear when the report will be available. A message left for the Boston Medical Examiner's Office was not immediately returned.

Mental health counselors were sent to the school, which has not been identified, and teachers spoke to students about the death, McGuire said.
The girl, who has not been named, was found by her mother in their Allston apartment Tuesday evening hanging by a scarf, according to police.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/massachusetts-girl-10-dead-apparent-suicide/story?id=11815160

 

[JJChicken]

Difficult to draw conclusions from small sample sizes. Perhaps the perceived increase in suicides is due to increased coverage in the 24x7 Internet age.

Off topic, bullying exists - sadly - in all age groups. We are able to deal with it better as we grow up.

 

[Numenorean]

Bullying happens and has happened. However, it appears that with stuff like Facebook and things, that the bullying continues outside of school.

Sure, I suppose it may contribute, but then the suicide just shows individual weakness.

Who cares what anyone says or thinks?

 

[moshquerade]

Difficult to draw conclusions from small sample sizes. Perhaps the perceived increase in suicides is due to increased coverage in the 24x7 Internet age.

Off topic, bullying exists - sadly - in all age groups. We are able to deal with it better as we grow up.

My opinion, kids are so coddled at home. Parents don't allow them to experience disappointment so when they are faced with the put downs of bullies they simply cannot handle it. They haven't learned how to cope.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

survival of the fittest

 

[Anubis]

Who cares what anyone says or thinks?

far too many people do

 

[Numenorean]

My opinion, kids are so coddled at home. Parents don't allow them to experience disappointment so when they are faced with the put downs of bullies they simply cannot handle it. They haven't learned how to cope.

I think this is a large part. That or the parents simply don't give a shit and don't be a parent.

 

[pcgeek11]

My opinion, kids are so coddled at home. Parents don't allow them to experience disappointment so when they are faced with the put downs of bullies they simply cannot handle it. They haven't learned how to cope.

This. Granted I am 55 years old, but when I was a kid all the kids were just brutal. I guess we just learned early to suck it up and go on. Kids these days are lacking.

 

[bignateyk]

I think the suicides happened in the past as well.. we just didn't hear about it.

That said, if you are getting bullied on facebook or something, why not just delete your account?

 

[waggy]

My opinion, kids are so coddled at home. Parents don't allow them to experience disappointment so when they are faced with the put downs of bullies they simply cannot handle it. They haven't learned how to cope.

i agree in part.

i was bullied in school. but after school? when i was around my friends? it ended. At least until i just started fighting the bullies (lost most..but all you have to do is fight back) then they stopped doing it even at school.

today it continues via facebook, email, text etc. its a lot harder to cope with it when its all the time.

 

[timosyy]

I thought you were going to link this story:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/07/hope.witsells.story/index.html

 

[Jeeebus]

All you pansies talking about your feelings and thoughts... Jeeebus needs some lunch money, so lets see some pockets emptying... now.

 

[blackdogdeek]

My opinion, kids are so coddled at home. Parents don't allow them to experience disappointment so when they are faced with the put downs of bullies they simply cannot handle it. They haven't learned how to cope.

i disagree. imo, and this is based on not knowing anything about the home lives of the victims, i think the reverse is true. the kids are not coddled at all at home and are likely not communicating to any constructive degree with their parents and vice versa. that's why they feel like there is no where to turn and this is the only way out.

in addition, when i was a kid, i was bullied all the time because i was one of only two kids who were minorities. however, i never even thought about suicide because i had never heard of it so i think part of the growing trend is the fact that it is being publicized so much. and, unfortunately, it's a self-feeding trend.

EDIT: i also agree with others that bullying is more pervasive now, continuing well after having left school for the day. and without any respite i could definitely see it getting unbearable.

 

[alkemyst]

It's a bit hard for a kid to now be prank called not only by those in his neighborhood, but thanks to anon sites by those all over the country with all the free long distance today.

Even worse is many parent's help with it.

 

[Codewiz]

I was bullied as a kid because I went to a upper-middle class school and I was from a poor single parent home.

I agree with others, if I had to deal with that crap 24/7, it would have been really tough. As it was, it ended when I went home. I played with my friends and bullying was only something that happened at school and other activities that included some of the kids from school.

For instance, I was in boy scouts and I was at a summer camp with the scouts. Some of the bullies from school were in my troop but typically it was never an issue. At camp, it was horrible. I told the scout master but that did nothing to fix it. One night at the mess hall, they started picking on me, I got up grabbed plate of food and glass of juice and threw it at the worst offender. That stopped it. I got in trouble but it was worth it because they stopped messing with me.

 

[Wingznut]

I think the suicides happened in the past as well.. we just didn't hear about it.

Or we didn't connect it... Or we didn't bother to ask much.

 

[sdifox]

This. Granted I am 55 years old, but when I was a kid all the kids were just brutal. I guess we just learned early to suck it up and go on. Kids these days are lacking.

When you were a kid the bullying doesn't follow you everywhere.

 

[moshquerade]

When you were a kid the bullying doesn't follow you everywhere.

it only follows if you allow it to follow... get off the internet?

 

[xanis]

For instance, I was in boy scouts and I was at a summer camp with the scouts. Some of the bullies from school were in my troop but typically it was never an issue. At camp, it was horrible. I told the scout master but that did nothing to fix it. One night at the mess hall, they started picking on me, I got up grabbed plate of food and glass of juice and threw it at the worst offender. That stopped it. I got in trouble but it was worth it because they stopped messing with me.

There it is: You stood up for yourself. Even when I was in school, the teachers and administration always told us to to not fight back because we'd get in trouble. My parents told me to defend myself, and to hell with the school's punishment. I think a lot of kids these days are coddled by parents and teachers and are "protected" by them, never learning to stick up and solve the problems for themselves.

Luckily, I never had any serious bullies, but the ones I did have were usually deterred by a swift punch to the arm and a "knock that shit off".

 

[Codewiz]

There it is: You stood up for yourself. Even when I was in school, the teachers and administration always told us to to not fight back because we'd get in trouble. My parents told me to defend myself, and to hell with the school's punishment. I think a lot of kids these days are coddled by parents and teachers and are "protected" by them, never learning to stick up and solve the problems for themselves.

Luckily, I never had any serious bullies, but the ones I did have were usually deterred by a swift punch to the arm and a "knock that shit off".

Actually, it didn't solve the problem except with these specific bullies. There were more in school and it didn't really go away until 8th or 9th grade. I just had different bullies. If I had "stood" up for myself at school every time a bully messed with me, I would have gotten kicked out.

 

[surfsatwerk]

When you were a kid the bullying doesn't follow you everywhere.

Did the people who bullied you live in a different town? I lived down the street from most of those shit heads. Life was a pain in the ass until puberty hit and I gained like 30 or 40 pounds of meat.

 

[sdifox]

it only follows if you allow it to follow... get off the internet?

give kids these days spend a lot of time online, it is part of their life. Heck, tons of people here (including yours truly) practically live online.

 

[sdifox]

Did the people who bullied you live in a different town? I lived down the street from most of those shit heads. Life was a pain in the ass until puberty hit and I gained like 30 or 40 pounds of meat.

It is still very different.

 

[LittleNemoNES]

I think that the same way social media facilities friendship it also facilitates bullying.

 

[surfsatwerk]

It is still very different.

Frankly I find the idea of online bullying to be a farce. If a person is so emotionally fragile that they can be bullied online then they need a good solid punch to the nose to bring them a little perspective.