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Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

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dmcowen674

No Lifer
5-21-2014

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/05/nurse-reveals-top-5-regrets-people-make-deathbed-2.html#

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed



People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.



Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice.
 
Based on posts, lots of sad people on here.

Don't be one with all of these regrets.

Don't be dead, be alive while you are alive.
 
6. When you are young, bang everything that moves, because when you are old, somehow you will have to pay for it (if you can still get it up).

Even though I lived by this adage in my earlier years, now that I am older I still regret not banging a few more of the hotties that I had the opportunity to bang. But once I found my significant other of 30 years, the past regrets didn't matter so much anymore.
 
Everything on that list I can't say I regret if I were to die tomorrow except number 5. The one thing I have to regret if I die tomorrow is that I never went to college. I only have trade school under my belt. Welding to be exact. But I don't want to weld all my life. I want to take flying lessons and fly for FedEx.
 
My mom works in a nursing home and when you are expiring I don't think 80-90 year-old people gives a shit and can barely talk anyway. Now cancer patients are a whole other animal especially if your young like 30.
 
I have a few regrets in life so far and hopefully I will address them before I die. However, I learned early on about this one:

dmcowen674 said:
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
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I laugh when people brag about working 60+ hours per week for years on end. Unless you own your own company or are a doctor, you're getting screwed and it is time to wake up. A "career" is just a job and not worth sacrificing your life over.
 
John Connor said:
Everything on that list I can't say I regret if I were to die tomorrow except number 5. The one thing I have to regret if I die tomorrow is that I never went to college. I only have trade school under my belt. Welding to be exact. But I don't want to weld all my life. I want to take flying lessons and fly for FedEx.
Click to expand...

So, learn to fly. It's going to cost a lot and take a lot of time to get certified, then instrument rated, then jet certified, then to get enough qualified hours on a jet before getting a job flying for FedEx. But might as well start now if you really want to do it.
 
Need the $$$$$ first. Plus I need a college education. Now a days airlines won't touch anyone without a BA. I'd go for a BS though since I'm pretty good in science. My GED score in science was the highest. I have both a GED and high school diploma I earned while in Job Corp. Language arts and writing are my worst subjects though. I need to brush up on that to have better composition for writing papers. I'm so bad I just had to use Pale Moon's spell check three times in this post alone. LOL.

One day, one day...
 
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John Connor said:
Need the $$$$$ first. Plus I need a college education. Now a days airlines won't touch anyone without a BA. I'd go for a BS though since I'm pretty good in science. My GED score in science was the highest. I have both a GED and high school diploma I earned while in Job Corp. Language arts and writing are my worst subjects though. I need to brush up on that to have better composition for writing papers. I'm so bad I just had to use Pale Moon's spell check three times in this post along. LOL.

One day, one day...
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hD18A3E9E
 
A lot of those things can't be helped in this day and age. The day and age of living to work in on us, due to a shrinking middle class and rising student debt. There isn't an option to enjoy life for a lot of people, because in order to even have the basic needs like food and shelter they need to slave away for The Man.

My g/f just received a doctorate degree in physical therapy. 6.5 years of school, over $100k in loans (easily could have been $150k if she wasn't an RA for years) and will only be getting a job that pays her $60k. She will be forced to live at home, possible in even work multiple jobs just to be able to pay that debt off by the time shes 40. Stuff like this didn't happen 50 years ago.
 
The only regret I will have on my deathbed is that I haven't traveled enough. I want to take a RV trip around the whole US. Visit islands around the world. See Antartica. Sadly most of these will never happen as I have to work to live.
 
z1ggy said:
My g/f just received a doctorate degree in physical therapy. 6.5 years of school, over $100k in loans (easily could have been $150k if she wasn't an RA for years) and will only be getting a job that pays her $60k.

She will be forced to live at home, possible in even work multiple jobs just to be able to pay that debt off by the time shes 40. Stuff like this didn't happen 50 years ago.
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That's so sad 🙁
 
considering how many "SAVE SAVE SAVE EVERY DOLLAR AND LIVE LIKE A HOBO!!!" threads there are on this forum, i'd expect most people here on their deathbeds to have something similar to the #5 regret.

EDIT: i guess kind of a mix between #5 and #2 because they are just slaving away to save for retirement when they are 65 years old and can hardly do the same things they could have done with the money in their youth.
 
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KB said:
The only regret I will have on my deathbed is that I haven't traveled enough. I want to take a RV trip around the whole US. Visit islands around the world. See Antartica. Sadly most of these will never happen as I have to work to live.
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Same here.

Got passport back in 2008 with intention of going on a cruise but it didn't happen.
 
dmcowen674 said:
Same here.

Got passport back in 2008 with intention of going on a cruise but it didn't happen.
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i got my passport back in 2005 and went to aruba as my first trip out of the country. i was 23 at the time. after that trip i instantly thought "i wish i had started traveling even earlier" although it would have been hard to save money since i graduated college when i was 22. but i had wished that i went on trips for spring break to cancun or something like that, or just go to europe to backpack in a summer during college.

since 2005, i've been to aruba (2x), cancun (2x), nicaragua, costa rica, barbados, and i just got back from turks and caicos. nationally, i've been to las vegas (2x), hawaii (maui specifically), and the florida keys.

you just gotta do it man, don't keep on putting it off. the best memories of my life are on these trips.
 
purbeast0 said:
i got my passport back in 2005 and went to aruba as my first trip out of the country. i was 23 at the time. after that trip i instantly thought "i wish i had started traveling even earlier" although it would have been hard to save money since i graduated college when i was 22. but i had wished that i went on trips for spring break to cancun or something like that, or just go to europe to backpack in a summer during college.

since 2005, i've been to aruba (2x), cancun (2x), nicaragua, costa rica, barbados, and i just got back from turks and caicos. nationally, i've been to las vegas (2x), hawaii (maui specifically), and the florida keys.

you just gotta do it man, don't keep on putting it off. the best memories of my life are on these trips.
Click to expand...

How do you come up with the $$$ for those kinds of trips?
 
dmcowen674 said:
How do you come up with the $$$ for those kinds of trips?
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well it's been 9 years, so thats 12 trips in 9 years. it's not like it's a huge amount or anything. i got a good job and so does my wife, and we love to travel so we make it a priority. and when we travel, we splurge like a mofo too while we're there. gotta work hard to play hard (although i refuse to work more than 40 hours a week).
 
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