Nowadays, what's the point of getting married?

[alkemyst]

i don't agree with marriage laws. If it wasn't for my wife being H1B and having to leave the country i wouldn't have married again.

I do believe in H1B laws though.

My co-worker is literally fucked by the marriage system. His ex will not find work and he is on the hook for an insane amount of money awarded during a short time he was making 3x what he makes now.

 

[n yusef]

Originally posted by: Tweak155

Originally posted by: JEDI
from this thread about no longer motivated in going to the gym:
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...id=38&threadid=2272866

one of the replies:
if you're a chick, did you recently get married?

i dont see any upside to getting married. divorce rate = 50%. and she'll take 1/2 of what you have.

she might get fat. ie: the comment above.
i have a co-worker that got married a year ago. you can tell she went from a size 4 to a size 6, if not a 8. (no, she didnt have a kid.)

so what are the upsides (for a guy) to getting married vs just living together?

Depends on your view of marriage.

Not to turn this into a religious thread, but you can't just live together in the bible's outline of marriage, and this is where marriage was derived from. So whether or not you are a religious person, it doesn't change where it originated.

Originally, it was between 1 man and 1 woman. And without tons of additional information, it is considered disrespectful (sinful if you want to go there...) to share a bed without having been married.

That being said, a majority of people (I'm speculating) ignore the origins and take it as what society has made it today (not how it originated). However, there are people that respect it for what it is and where it came from.

I expect flames from this but to head them off, I'm not going to answer any criticism. I am not intentionally stating anything as proven fact. This is my opinion.

I keep seeing this BS repeated. Marriage was developed independently and similarly in almost every culture.

 

[Saga]

Modern day the point for a man is (statistically speaking) to show the world how stupid you are.

I personally think lack of marriage probably has a lot more to do with the modern day perception (and reality) of how much getting divorced fucks over every man in the US. Eventually people simply realize the risk far outweighs the romance. This is especially true for those who've been divorced.

My opinion? Live together until you get sick of each other and move along if you do. Seems pretty simple to me.

 

[zerocool84]

The only reason to get married is for personal/religious reasons. There are no substantial advantages to getting married. There are more downfalls in getting married than not now-a-days which is why I frown upon it. Also because the actually marriage ceremony is more important than actually getting married now-a-days as seen in a thread a little while ago where some guy's wife wanted to get married again and have a real ceremony. Marriage has lost it's true sense of being. It's sad really.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: n yusef
I keep seeing this BS repeated. Marriage was developed independently and similarly in almost every culture.

QFT, when one brings up the "bible" and tries to claim it's influence on issues that are shared by non-believers of all religions one just gets a feel of how brainwashed/close-minded they are or simply ignorant.

 

[FelixDeCat]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: n yusef
I keep seeing this BS repeated. Marriage was developed independently and similarly in almost every culture.

QFT, when one brings up the "bible" and tries to claim it's influence on issues that are shared by non-believers of all religions one just gets a feel of how brainwashed/close-minded they are or simply ignorant.

One can bring up the Bible because it does have influence to Christians. To mention brainwashing and closedmidness in the same breath is simply ignorant.

 

[LikeLinus]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
i don't agree with marriage laws. If it wasn't for my wife being H1B and having to leave the country i wouldn't have married again.

I do believe in H1B laws though.

My co-worker is literally fucked by the marriage system. His ex will not find work and he is on the hook for an insane amount of money awarded during a short time he was making 3x what he makes now.

Then your co-worker needs to go back to the courts and have them reduce his payments based on changes to his new income.

 

[microAmp]

Older you are the less likely to get divorced.

http://www.divorcerate.org/

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: n yusef
I keep seeing this BS repeated. Marriage was developed independently and similarly in almost every culture.

QFT, when one brings up the "bible" and tries to claim it's influence on issues that are shared by non-believers of all religions one just gets a feel of how brainwashed/close-minded they are or simply ignorant.

One can bring up the Bible because it does have influence to Christians. To mention brainwashing and closedmidness in the same breath is simply ignorant.

Absofuckinglutely as no bearing on where the origins of marriage came from.

 

[dmw16]

Lot of stupidity in this thread and a lot of people making comments when I don't think they are married.

First off, saw someone say that after you get married you have to give up "hobbies and everything you live for". That is DUMB. It's only the case if you marry the wrong person.

I am recently married and it was a great decision. It shows commitment on both sides and once she is your wife she is your family and the #1 thing in your life. I can't exactly explain it, but there is this feeling that the two of you need each other and support each other.

 

[Zee]

Originally posted by: dmw16
I can't exactly explain it, but there is this feeling that the two of you need each other and support each other.

it's called love

 

[LS21]

tax deductions

 

[CRXican]

I don't believe in marriage.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I lived with my wife prior to getting married and really I would have been fine just living together but she really wanted to get married so we did. We've been married for 16 years now and we have a son together. She hasn't gained any weight and still goes to the gym everyday.

I have no regrets, things have worked out pretty well for us so far.

I still get to ride my motorcycle on the weekends with my friends but we do family things too.

Don't marry the wrong person. If you have problems in your relationship marriage will not solve them. Neither will having kids.

I don't think people should get married under the age of 25.

 

[Codewiz]

It is pretty simple. Having children is much easier when you are married. The same could be said for a committed but unmarried couple but honestly, how many of those are around?

Raising a child as a single parent is just more difficult. My wife and I had our first child in November. I have no idea how single mothers are able to do it. We take turns caring for the baby. It would be a nightmare without help.

So marriage helps raise children. Not to mention my wife and I have similar interests, hobbies, and desires. So it is basically living with someone who sees eye to eye with me. There are plenty of people who have zero business getting married.

As for gaining weight? My wife weighs LESS now than she did prior to pregnancy. She is 5'3" and weighs 115lbs. She is currently still losing weight and has a target weight of about 105lbs. When we got married she weighed 135lbs.

 

[rbV5]

I can't really comment from the other side, but there is something immensely satisfying about living a life together built around a foundation of a strong marriage.

<-- Married 23 years (got married when I was 25) really looking forward to what the next 23 years has in store for us

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: JEDI
from this thread about no longer motivated in going to the gym:
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...id=38&threadid=2272866

one of the replies:
if you're a chick, did you recently get married?

i dont see any upside to getting married. divorce rate = 50%. and she'll take 1/2 of what you have.

she might get fat. ie: the comment above.
i have a co-worker that got married a year ago. you can tell she went from a size 4 to a size 6, if not a 8. (no, she didnt have a kid.)

so what are the upsides (for a guy) to getting married vs just living together?

dude, an 8 still isnt fat...

 

[ja1484]

For men: Tax breaks, and that's about it. Of course, they pale in comparison to the risk for loss with divorce, so as an investment, it's fucking ludicrous.

Which means: For smart men, nothing.

But then, hormones do weird shit to the brain.

Women have a LOT to gain under the current status quo.

 

[irishScott]

Marriage isn't a business deal. It's an emotional connection among other things. It's an acknowledgment of commitment and love.

Divorce rates are 50% because most people are stupid and societal pressure no longer forces them to stay together. Simple as that. If you run your life by statistics and odds, I pity you. ie: "She might get fat". Might. I know I'll never let myself get fat, and I expect the same of any girl I marry. That's just called healthy living. If she does start putting on weight then chances are there's a deeper problem that needs resolving (stress or whatnot).

 

[ja1484]

Originally posted by: ruu

Well, I think I worded it a bit too hastily---I should have put more emphasis on the word "primarily." Humans are PRIMARILY monogamous, but we've actually evolved tendencies to cheat. So what I meant was that we've evolved to live in pairs but to cheat as often as we can get away with it.

What the fuck are you talking about? Marriage didn't even exist as an institution until monotheistic religions rolled in around 2000 years back.

Until then, we were EXCEPTIONALLY polygamous.

Our chemistry wants us to still be. That's why men get tired of the same set of holes after about 6 months and start looking for some variety.

 

[Rudee]

Half of those who get married get divorced. But that doesn't mean the remaining half are happy. Only about half of those remaining are happy. Therefore, only about 25% of the populate remains truly happy in a marriage.

 

[FelixDeCat]

Originally posted by: ja1484

Originally posted by: ruu

Well, I think I worded it a bit too hastily---I should have put more emphasis on the word "primarily." Humans are PRIMARILY monogamous, but we've actually evolved tendencies to cheat. So what I meant was that we've evolved to live in pairs but to cheat as often as we can get away with it.

What the fuck are you talking about? Marriage didn't even exist as an institution until monotheistic religions rolled in around 2000 years back.

Until then, we were EXCEPTIONALLY polygamous.

Our chemistry wants us to still be. That's why men get tired of the same set of holes after about 6 months and start looking for some variety.

Thankfully not every man is like that, so please speak for yourself. A loving relationship is more than just about sex all the time. And Chinese marriages were happening in 5000BC.

 

[ja1484]

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
Thankfully not every man is like that, so please speak for yourself. A loving relationship is more than just about sex all the time.

I forgot, it's also about faux-moral superiority and/or rationalizing a decision that would be highly inconvenient to reverse.

And Chinese marriages were happening in 5000BC.

Everyone knows non-christian ceremonies are fake and not sanctioned by God.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Fayd

Originally posted by: JEDI
from this thread about no longer motivated in going to the gym:
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...id=38&threadid=2272866

one of the replies:
if you're a chick, did you recently get married?

i dont see any upside to getting married. divorce rate = 50%. and she'll take 1/2 of what you have.

she might get fat. ie: the comment above.
i have a co-worker that got married a year ago. you can tell she went from a size 4 to a size 6, if not a 8. (no, she didnt have a kid.)

so what are the upsides (for a guy) to getting married vs just living together?

dude, an 8 still isnt fat...

There is a reason he is single. In reality the OP really doesn't need to worry about a risk of getting married though.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: ja1484

Originally posted by: ruu

Well, I think I worded it a bit too hastily---I should have put more emphasis on the word "primarily." Humans are PRIMARILY monogamous, but we've actually evolved tendencies to cheat. So what I meant was that we've evolved to live in pairs but to cheat as often as we can get away with it.

What the fuck are you talking about? Marriage didn't even exist as an institution until monotheistic religions rolled in around 2000 years back.

Until then, we were EXCEPTIONALLY polygamous.

Our chemistry wants us to still be. That's why men get tired of the same set of holes after about 6 months and start looking for some variety.

Fortunately, most men marry entire women, not just a "set of holes"