Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal

[KeithTalent]

We had some kids over at our house last night. They were pretty annoying and seem like a bit of hassle.

KT

 

[Fingolfin269]

LOL yeah i remember those times. before kids i upgraded my computer yearly, had new motorcycles, cars, went on trips etc. Yeah i had my 1st house damn near paid off too

edit: also thinking about it. Many friends i had when i was like you i lost. they just didn't want to have families or do the "family friendly" type things. i see them occasionally but they are off doing what they want. We are doing what we want. You know what? that's ok with me. i have friends (with kids) who i enjoy having around.

We don't want kids and to be honest what you've written here is actually the hardest part about it. It's as if since we don't want kids we have become the weird people in the group since all of our friends just started having kids over the last few years. I remember when the first couple told everyone they were pregnant and immediately followed it up with "but be sure to not forget about us and leave us out of everything!". Now it seems to be the opposite. We find out that they all did stuff and we got left out. I'm not sure what causes it but it does seem like people with kids tend to gravitate to other people with kids.

 

[highland145]

We had some kids over at our house last night. They were pretty annoying and seem like a bit of hassle.

KT

Someone elses kids are always a hassle. Can't stand them.

When my kid does the same silly crap he's good in my book though.:biggrin::wub::wub:

 

[Vdubchaos]

We don't want kids and to be honest what you've written here is actually the hardest part about it. It's as if since we don't want kids we have become the weird people in the group since all of our friends just started having kids over the last few years. I remember when the first couple told everyone they were pregnant and immediately followed it up with "but be sure to not forget about us and leave us out of everything!". Now it seems to be the opposite. We find out that they all did stuff and we got left out. I'm not sure what causes it but it does seem like people with kids tend to gravitate to other people with kids.

1st thing that happens when you have kids is you lose all your friends.

Your perspective on life changes and things that used to be important to you are now worthless......and worthless things are now the important.

 

[KeithTalent]

Someone elses kids are always a hassle. Can't stand them.

When my kid does the same silly crap he's good in my book though.:biggrin::wub::wub:

Yeah, I'm sure I'd be fine with it if they were mine, but it seems like a pretty big commitment just to test that theory out.

KT

 

[highland145]

Yeah, I'm sure I'd be fine with it if they were mine, but it seems like a pretty big commitment just to test that theory out.

KT

The biggest. Might be why ours was an oops. We couldn't commit but didn't necessarily take precautions either.

 

[Juddog]

Reading through this thread has actually reinforced my opinion that having kids right now is not the thing for me.

 

[JulesMaximus]

My recommendation is that if you're a fucking idiot or if you won't raise your child properly, then don't have kids. If you're smart and will raise your child properly, go ahead and have kids. Most people fall into the first category. I'm 21 so I've been on my own long enough to see people with kids in action... it's frustrating to actually SEE the process of creating another shitty human being.

Nobody is perfect and everyone has moments where they may not shine. Try not to judge a person as being a "bad parent" based on one 20 second observation.

 

[Kadarin]

I'm 43 and don't have kids. I don't want them and have never wanted them. In fact, I pretty much hate ever having to deal with kids and do it as infrequently as I can.

My g/f (guess I should stop calling her that, we're breaking up) has a kid, and that kid can be fucking annoying at times (often).

 

[Corporate Thug]

I would think that's common sense. Not everyone wants (or SHOULD) have kids.

this.

 

[JTsyo]

Someone elses kids are always a hassle. Can't stand them.

When my kid does the same silly crap he's good in my book though.:biggrin::wub::wub:

I find the same thing. I'm not so good with other kids but have a blast with mine.

Kids are crap ton of work but coming home and having them waggle up saying 'da-da' makes all worthwhile. There's just something special about it that's hardwired I guess.

 

[JoeyP]

If you're sure you don't want kids, please get snipped so that you don't make any. Last thing we need are more kids born to people who don't want to be parents.

If you want kids, please make sure you have a loving and supportive relationship with your spouse, and you both commit to raising the child. It puts a ton of stress on a marriage, and without a strong marriage, it is easy to grow apart. Not good for the kid, so plan ahead. This might mean selling your Corvette or giving up golf.

 

[sze5003]

I don't think I want them either. I get along with kids and don't mind family and relstives' kids because they usually listen to me.

But I'm in so much debt after school and have a decent job that I don't want to worry about if I will have enough money for them, if they will go to colllege like I did, if ill be able to sign for their loans too while I will still be paying mine off , so on.

Those who have kids are usually better off financially from the beginning. Although that's not always the case as I've grown up to see. It's hard enough enjoying myself with little dough I have after all bills are paid.

 

[sourceninja]

I hope you have a prenup, sooner or later she will want, its biologically hardcoded in them.

1) We don't own anything of value. She's welcome to the house, both cars, and all the cats.
2) She makes more than I do.
3) We are almost to the point where it doesn't matter anyway.
4) I brought the subject up hypothetically last year and it almost cost me my marriage.

 

[AdamK47]

I'm blessed in that I lack the primitive desire to raise a child. My wife is the same way.

 

[Slew Foot]

Idiocracy is not a movie, its a documentary

 

[Wyndru]

For my wife and I it wasn't because "society expects us to", it's that we want to experience raising a child and teaching them things and just generally providing for them. Also it will be nice when we are old and we have still have close family around.

I thought that was a natural feeling most people have, but it seems more and more people are losing this instinct. I don't think it's a bad thing though, maybe over time it will help with overpopulation.

It's been great so far, check with me when the kid is a teenager though, I might have a completely different outlook on it .

 

[PokerGuy]

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/a...rely-normal/262367/?google_editors_picks=true

Yay, I now have science to back up my claim that I'm not abnormal for not wanting kids

What science is that? The article linked talks about a study of how kids are treated based on whether they are wanted/mistimed/unwanted etc, but I don't see any science that says it is normal to not want kids. Statistically it is abnormal to not want kids. Nothing wrong with not wanting them as far as I'm concerned, but it is not "normal". The norm is to want kids, even if some number of people regret having them.

 

[PokerGuy]

I thought that was a natural feeling most people have, but it seems more and more people are losing this instinct.

Personally I think people are just more selfish nowadays and struggle a lot more with the concept of giving up their freedoms and lifestyle to raise a child. It's all about them, they can't give it up and make a child their top priority.

 

[Ns1]

I don't want kids. Dogs only plz.

 

[waggy]

My recommendation is that if you're a fucking idiot or if you won't raise your child properly, then don't have kids. If you're smart and will raise your child properly, go ahead and have kids. Most people fall into the first category. I'm 21 so I've been on my own long enough to see people with kids in action... it's frustrating to actually SEE the process of creating another shitty human being.

lol. you are still a kid yourself. When i was 21 i thought the same. I would see people raising kids and think "WTF you moron" etc.

at 38 my understanding of how the world works, how to raise kids, and life in general is far better.

Try not to judge until you have lived it.

We don't want kids and to be honest what you've written here is actually the hardest part about it. It's as if since we don't want kids we have become the weird people in the group since all of our friends just started having kids over the last few years. I remember when the first couple told everyone they were pregnant and immediately followed it up with "but be sure to not forget about us and leave us out of everything!". Now it seems to be the opposite. We find out that they all did stuff and we got left out. I'm not sure what causes it but it does seem like people with kids tend to gravitate to other people with kids.

well yeah. Sure getting a babysitter is great (witch you should do often) but that is not something you can do or should do all the time. So we try to do kid friendly options.

Nearly all my friends without kids want to go to the bar or go do some expensive insane thing and stay out all night. That is not possible very often. Even when it is? guess what i still gotta get up at 6am because the kids want to eat and are up.

and babies? you want to go out and stay out all night when people have a baby? hahahah good luck.

so yeah we tend to spend more time with friends who have kids. we can take the kids and they can have fun. Also tend to get home at a responsible time.

having kids is a MAJOR life changer.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Nearly all my friends without kids want to go to the bar or go do some expensive insane thing and stay out all night. That is not possible very often. Even when it is? guess what i still gotta get up at 6am because the kids want to eat and are up.

and babies? you want to go out and stay out all night when people have a baby? hahahah good luck.

so yeah we tend to spend more time with friends who have kids. we can take the kids and they can have fun. Also tend to get home at a responsible time.

having kids is a MAJOR life changer.

You are assuming that everyone likes to go out to bar/blow money and stay up all night.

Take my kids away and above is still quite the opposite idea of fun ....TO ME.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Meh. I'm 32 now and have never wanted them.

To have kids would mean a massive reduction in my standard of living. Goodbye living in the city. Hello commute. Goodbye vacations and just about everything I enjoy in life. All for what? To be stressed out all the time because my "heart" is now outside of myself, running around, falling down, etc.

I don't care if you call me selfish. I'm happier. And I don't subscribe to the mantra that following the sheeple makes one happy.

 

[Ns1]

You are assuming that everyone likes to go out to bar/blow money and stay up all night.

Take my kids away and above is still quite the opposite idea of fun ....TO ME.

playing with all that cool stuff in your sig is ALOT harder with kids.

 

[waggy]

You are assuming that everyone likes to go out to bar/blow money and stay up all night.

Take my kids away and above is still quite the opposite idea of fun ....TO ME.

of course not. where did i say everyone? I in no way even hinted at it.