Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal

[JulesMaximus]

My experience is that people fall into one of these categories

1. Want kids because they've always yearned for bringing a child into the world, helping that child mature, giving values but allowing the child to form his/her own, being part of the growth process for child and parents.

2. Want kids because they think that is what is to be expected when you get married. Some are prepared and do well, others not so well.

3. Don't want kids, but have them anyway in hopes the kids will help glue together the marriage. Kids usually suffer because of divorce or resentment.

4. Cannot have kids for some reason, but advertise this as Not Wanting Kids. Maybe one is sterile or there were several miscarriages or complications, or maybe the mom or dad are old, and they simply do not want to talk about it or go into detail publicly.

5. Have not yet had the "trigger" that made them seriously consider having kids. For some, it is a certain age or situation that makes them change from not wanting kids to wanting kids.

I didn't consider kids until I was around 28, then certain things fell into place, and I was equipped mentally/financially/maturity to realize I wanted kids. It doesn't happen to everyone.

My wife and I didn't start trying until our 30s. Our son was a 9/11 baby I guess and he was born in August 2002. Truthfully, I was extremely happy when my wife told me she was pregnant.

Our son is 10 now and we are a pretty happy family. We were happy before he was born too. It's just different now but in a good way.

I don't think I really fall into any of your categories.

 

[JoeyP]

My wife and I didn't start trying until our 30s. Our son was a 9/11 baby I guess and he was born in August 2002. Truthfully, I was extremely happy when my wife told me she was pregnant.

Our son is 10 now and we are a pretty happy family. We were happy before he was born too. It's just different now but in a good way.

I don't think I really fall into any of your categories.

Possibly #1.

You're an idiot.

Why do you say that?

 

[ichy]

I don't really want kids right now, but wanting kids has to be the preferred state of mind from an evolutionary standpoint. Otherwise when aliens visit our planet in a few thousand years they'll marvel at the fact that the dominant species died out because "none of them wanted kids".

There are 7 billion people in the world. Don't worry, humanity won't die out.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Possibly #1.


Why do you say that?

So it's not possible someone is capable of having kids but just decide they don't want them?

 

[DrunkenSano]

Kids are expensive as hell and take a crapload of your time away from you. I rather spend money on myself and enjoy my free time. Now, if I can sire some bastards without having to drop a dime or spend time I don't want to with them, and they can grow up just fine, then I'd be okay with that. Otherwise, no thanks, I'll pass.

 

[Vdubchaos]

I'm a family man and always wanted kids since very early age. I have 4 now.

It's not for everyone. Nothing wrong with not wanting kids.

pros/cons to EVERYTHING in life.

 

[brandonb]

You'd think evolution would eliminate the "Don't want kids" mentality from our minds.

That said. With a selfish society, kids are just "in the way." Doesn't suprise me. When everybody turns selfish, we will have a ruined society. Nobody cares though.

 

[olds]

If you think the responsibility associated with having kids stops at 18, think again.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

You'd think evolution would eliminate the "Don't want kids" mentality from our minds.

That said. With a selfish society, kids are just "in the way." Doesn't suprise me. When everybody turns selfish, we will have a ruined society. Nobody cares though.

Huh.. Can't think of anything more selfish than bringing kids into the world to carry on the name or a symbol of our love.. Especially considering how over crowded the world currently is and how many children are in foster homes needing adoption.

 

[Dannar26]

You'd think evolution would eliminate the "Don't want kids" mentality from our minds.

That said. With a selfish society, kids are just "in the way." Doesn't suprise me. When everybody turns selfish, we will have a ruined society. Nobody cares though.

Exactly. The justifications why they dont are achingly self righteous when they want to look good; others just come right out and say they love money.

 

[JoeyP]

So it's not possible someone is capable of having kids but just decide they don't want them?

Sure, I missed that one, and the reasons can be many. I have a relative who has a serious genetic disorder who doesn't want to pass her genes along. A friend of mine doesn't want to add to the population. Another friend is afraid of the responsibility.

You could have said that in the first place instead of calling me an idiot.

 

[ichy]

You'd think evolution would eliminate the "Don't want kids" mentality from our minds.

That said. With a selfish society, kids are just "in the way." Doesn't suprise me. When everybody turns selfish, we will have a ruined society. Nobody cares though.

Actually the truly selfish people who are ruining society are the ones who have kids but refuse to put in the time and effort to raise them properly, or who can't afford them and mooch off of social programs to pay for them.

 

[DrunkenSano]

Exactly. The justifications why they dont are achingly self righteous when they want to look good; others just come right out and say they love money.

What's wrong with loving money and self comfort? Does our life require us to slave away at one or even two jobs just to make ends meet while creating a family?

 

[ichy]

In my case it has more to do with loving free time and not wanting to shoulder additional responsibility. I'm really only marginally capable of taking care of a cat, trying to raise a child would be a disaster.

 

[SS Trooper]

I am 26 and pretty confused on this topic. My motivation for getting a real job and starting my career was to be able to support a family. Now that I am successful in creating a stable career, I have 0 desire to actually have kids. I think I blame this on my GF, but thats just cruel. And if it were true then the desire to have kids would suggest I break it off with her, but I really enjoy her company and companionship.

So instead of starting a family I find myself focusing more on my career. Which is imemdiately having beneficial effects. I think if I had kids now I might dread going home after work, I already feel like I do too much. That being said I love playing with my friends kids and spending time with them. I will continue to enojy the kids I can leave in someone else's care for the time being, if that changes back to the desire to have my own kids I have no idea.

 

[Jeffg010]

I'm glad a lot of people are admitting to not wanting or having kids on this board. It makes the world a better place. :awe:

 

[Juddog]

My wife and I made the decision to never have kids, 10 years later and we're still pretty happy with that decision. More money, more free time, more happiness. Taking care of a few pets is enough work as it is. All of my friends have kids, and they all go through tremendous hassle because of it. The world is already overpopulated as it is, so I'll just enjoy my life to end.

 

[pelov]

it's not that bad. all you feel is some tugging stuff. to me the worst part of it was shaving.

A stranger grabbed your testicles and put a knife to them and the worst part of the whole process was the shaving?

What did it look like down there before the shaving?

That must have been a hell of a shave

 

[waggy]

A stranger grabbed your testicles and put a knife to them and the worst part of the whole process was the shaving?

What did it look like down there before the shaving?

That must have been a hell of a shave

actually the shave was good and bad. they said not to do it myself. i come in and a cute nurse had ot do it. when she was done i was pretty much fully erect..

but the surgery itself was not bad. the shot they give you to numb it sucked but other then that you feel him tugging and shoving it in. thats it.

 

[ImpulsE69]

My experience is that people fall into one of these categories

1. Want kids because they've always yearned for bringing a child into the world, helping that child mature, giving values but allowing the child to form his/her own, being part of the growth process for child and parents.

2. Want kids because they think that is what is to be expected when you get married. Some are prepared and do well, others not so well.

3. Don't want kids, but have them anyway in hopes the kids will help glue together the marriage. Kids usually suffer because of divorce or resentment.

4. Cannot have kids for some reason, but advertise this as Not Wanting Kids. Maybe one is sterile or there were several miscarriages or complications, or maybe the mom or dad are old, and they simply do not want to talk about it or go into detail publicly.

5. Have not yet had the "trigger" that made them seriously consider having kids. For some, it is a certain age or situation that makes them change from not wanting kids to wanting kids.

I didn't consider kids until I was around 28, then certain things fell into place, and I was equipped mentally/financially/maturity to realize I wanted kids. It doesn't happen to everyone.

Some, but not all. We both said from the very beginning we didn't want kids..and here we are 20 years later, still no desire for kids. We enjoy our free time, the extra money, and the ability to just "do" w/o the worry of children. It's just a choice nothing more. People who "can't" have kids have the option to adopt, or foster care, etc. Most people assume one of us is steril when we tell them we don't have children. I wish we were...would make things easier


I really think we are on our way to Idiocracy being truth though. Some people shouldn't be having children, and they keep spitting them out.

 

[JoeyP]

I really think we are on our way to Idiocracy being truth though. Some people shouldn't be having children, and they keep spitting them out.

But I think you'll agree, it is not our place to make that call.

 

[Imported]

It's surprising how many people have this attitude that "oh, you'll change your mind" when I tell them I don't want children. When I tell them I'm dating a woman who doesn't want kids they get even worse and insist she's lying.

This isn't meant to be an anti-kids post BTW. Obviously the majority of people DO want children, if they didn't we'd be going extinct. It's not a universal desire though, despite what some people claim.

I get that so much from everyone I know when my GF and I tell them we don't want kids and don't ever plan to have them. I don't care if people consider it selfish to want to enjoy life without kids.

 

[TheNinja]

I'm glad it's becoming more socially acceptable and normal to NOT have kids. I think there were/are many people who have/had kids because of social pressure or social norm. Not everyone should have kids nor do they want them. And I do have kids BTW but can totally see where people would not. If you really like your freedom and want to maintain less financial and mental stress then kids might not be for you. They are pretty awesome though....but did I mention tiring??

 

[tcG]

My recommendation is that if you're a fucking idiot or if you won't raise your child properly, then don't have kids. If you're smart and will raise your child properly, go ahead and have kids. Most people fall into the first category. I'm 21 so I've been on my own long enough to see people with kids in action... it's frustrating to actually SEE the process of creating another shitty human being.

 

[TwiceOver]

Well we have something in common then, I certainly don't want you to have kids either...



Seriously though, I really didn't want to have kids, but my wife and I didn't actively prevent it either. We had our son and I don't know what I'd do without him now.