North Korea develops Anti-Aging Super Drink!

TruePaige

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2006
9,874
2
0
Breaking news from Pyongyang:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/asia_pacific/10237314.stm
North Korea has developed a "super drink" that, it says, can multiply brain cells and stop skin ageing.

The secretive state's official news agency, KCNA, says the drink contains 60 kinds of "microelements" extracted from more than 30 species of plants.

It attracted "much interest from Chinese, German and other businessmen" at a trade fair in Pyongyang last month, the agency reports.

It was developed by a joint venture fruit juice company.

'No side-effect'
KCNA says: "It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells.

"It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral haemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time.

"It, much higher than quality cosmetics in anti-oxidation capacity, is efficacious for different skin diseases, including allergic dermatitis. It also makes skin fair.

"The drink has no side-effect."

The agency quotes a company manager, Jong Song Ho, as saying the drink has "proved efficacious among workers of such industrial establishments as thermal power station and smeltery and at medical institutions".

First Fusion and now this? Man, they must have some super scientists over there. Guess the brain works better for lack of food? :awe:
 

JSt0rm

Lifer
Sep 5, 2000
27,399
3,948
126
dear leader probably demanded they figure out a way to make him live forever hahahaha
 

CrackRabbit

Lifer
Mar 30, 2001
16,642
62
91
Multiplying brain cells? Sounds likes a brain tumor caused by radiation exposure.

Someone else invented that drink already...
2q06gxz.jpg
 

Cogman

Lifer
Sep 19, 2000
10,286
147
106
:awe: Now for only 3 easy payments of 19.95, you too can own the North Korean Super Duper non-aging drink!*

*void where prohibited, not available in stores. May cause facial muscles to resemble a horse. Statements not FDA approved. See stores for details. Not available in the free world. Contains 10% Colbalt. Studies performed in a 3 day testing period, mortality rate was only 15%. Not meant for human consumption.
 

TruePaige

Diamond Member
Oct 22, 2006
9,874
2
0
:awe: Now for only 3 easy payments of 19.95, you too can own the North Korean Super Duper non-aging drink!*

*void where prohibited, not available in stores. May cause facial muscles to resemble a horse. Statements not FDA approved. See stores for details. Not available in the free world. Contains 10% Colbalt. Studies performed in a 3 day testing period, mortality rate was only 15%. Not meant for human consumption.

Shipping times are a real bitch as well. :p
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,407
8,595
126
Dear Leader invented the new combination while on his tour of the Taedonggang Combined Fruit Farm. He frightfully smashed such imperialists as Vasco de Gama by triumphantly discovering the fountain of youth the Puppet-Masters have been searching out for centuries. The combined mental power of the people and army of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea augmented Dear Leader's infathomable mental powers to devise the right combination of fruit juices and anti-oxidants which brilliantly smash non-collectivist free radicals in a person, like the People's Army smashing imperialist invaders.
 
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Lemon law

Lifer
Nov 6, 2005
20,984
3
0
Yah hooray, it means Kim Jong Il will live forever! And hence will not have to make all kinds of diplomatic stunt moves to ensure the succession of his son and heir.

But then again if Kim Jong Il soon croaks, we have our answer, the stuff is as worthless
as Billy Beer.
 

Danube

Banned
Dec 10, 2009
613
0
0
"The secretive state's official news agency, KCNA, says the drink contains 60 kinds of 'microelements'"

It's probably like Soylent Green and has 60 bits of dead Koreans in it.
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,932
10,810
147
Live in Hawaii? Ask our unfriendly CSR's about our explosive, same HOUR delivery by Taepodong-2.
 

werepossum

Elite Member
Jul 10, 2006
29,873
463
126
It also grants you a perfect golf game, so that you can take no lessons and still score a hole in one on every hole your very first time out.
 

Lemon law

Lifer
Nov 6, 2005
20,984
3
0
"The secretive state's official news agency, KCNA, says the drink contains 60 kinds of 'microelements'"

It's probably like Soylent Green and has 60 bits of dead Koreans in it.
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Wrong again Danube, it has only 46 bits of only dead South Korean sailors, and as proof, I cite the fact its invention was delayed until North Korea recently blew up their ship.
 

Lemon law

Lifer
Nov 6, 2005
20,984
3
0
If it doesnt have electrolytes, i'm not buying.
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Ya want electrolytes good buddy, au au, I will hook a taser up to a glass of pure H20,
and will not trigger until you drink. Truly a health drink that packs a wallop and will make you tingle over over your body.

Oh well, I declare today the silly season on anand tech. I extend my apologies to Danube too.