May I ask when the bad moments started becoming too bad, and what made them start to become too bad?
Seriously get up and go back out and find a woman. Dont sit there and sulk over that 8 years. Things happen for a reason and this is your calling card to find something better. I drink a beer for you though man
- Feb 8, 2001
- 35,461
- 4
- 81
I'm going to remain womanless for awhile. My faith in womankind is kind of shaken at the moment
It has been on the rocks for a couple of years. We nearly split roughly a year ago. I used to have patience and could tolerate alot. Little by little I stopped having that ability, I don't put the blame entirely on her, we both had our issues in the relationship. I just lacked the patience and grew to become the uncaring ahole that you guys have all grown to love and adore...
So you're talking five to six years of smooth relationship? What caused the arguements and problems to increase around then?
Don't feel like those 8 years were a waste, they happened for a reason and were necessary to shape you into who you are today. You'll now be better prepared for your next relationship, when that time comes.
Sorry about your loss. Was 14 yrs down the toilet for me last year.
She was going to town pushing my buttons too but like you I put up with it.
Still miss her despite it all
i truly believe that all breakups eventually happen for a reason. something wasn't working, and it's only a sign that the person you were with just was not the right one.
it's easy to get down and beat yourself up right now, but have faith and hope that you will find someone new again. life has a funny way of working out.
it's easy to get down and beat yourself up right now, but have faith and hope that you will find someone new again. life has a funny way of working out.
Some are right, things happen for a reason. Learn from this, try not to make the same mistake again. You have to grieve, go through the process, you will ache inside. But, you will heal too. You can't give up, go forward, life will go on eventually. There are decent women out there.
What he said. As others have said, the best thing that can happen is for you to learn how you slowly became an "uncaring ahole" as you put it. From what I can tell, it wasn't an immediate change; therefore, it's important to know how you started down that road and make sure you avoid it next time.
For now, just fill up your time as much as possible. If not the job, then go to the gym. It's amazing what exercise does to clear the mind.
IMHO, it's okay to go womanless for a little while because you need to focus on yourself first, but don't let it go too long. Maybe what you need to avoid for a while is a true relationship. Just hang with some female friends, but don't do anything serious. One of my worse relationships came when I was on the rebound from a broken engagement.
Anyway, good luck to you man. And :thumbsup: to dropping her off at the airport.
- Feb 8, 2001
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I'm sure as I move on my bitterness will fade away. I'm not much of a griever. I was downright miserable and distraught yesterday. I totally blew a job interview because I could not form a coherant thought.
Definitely going to start hitting the gym as well. I could probably lose 20 lbs(5'10 190 lbs). I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle as well, just don't trust all the soccer moms on their cell phones to risk it.
Phoenix86
Lifer
- May 21, 2003
- 14,644
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Hey man I feel for you. I'm seperated now myself, watching 7 years of my life wash away. I was having a hard time reading mx2time's thread about getting scared by the vacuum cleaner. Sounds a lot like my wife, reminded me of her, can't get her out of my head now. 
:beer:
:beer:
< puts hand up
I'm in the middle of a divorce - together for 16 years, married for 12.
I got tired of changing and the ultimatums.
When men marry - they are content with what they get.
When women marry, they expect to mold their hubbys into the perfect husband.
Although I am lonely at times, hated having to learn how to do basic domestic chores - I feel I am better off without her.
We?re still friends, and actually still have occasional sex (It's phenomenal now that we are separated), I think she wants to reconcile, but I?m done.
I'm in the middle of a divorce - together for 16 years, married for 12.
I got tired of changing and the ultimatums.
When men marry - they are content with what they get.
When women marry, they expect to mold their hubbys into the perfect husband.
Although I am lonely at times, hated having to learn how to do basic domestic chores - I feel I am better off without her.
We?re still friends, and actually still have occasional sex (It's phenomenal now that we are separated), I think she wants to reconcile, but I?m done.
- Feb 8, 2001
- 35,461
- 4
- 81
I wouldn't call her a piranha. I'm just glad that we managed to separate amicably and without dragging it into court. We will both be better off once she becomes happy and I just can't do that for her. I will wish her well in all life's endeavors and only hope she finds joy from here on out.
- Feb 8, 2001
- 35,461
- 4
- 81
Spent most of the day straightening up. The placed looked like a DMZ, but I have cleared out the living room. Tomorrow I plan on moving the exercise equipment back into the living room and will build my computer:
ASUS A8N SLI Deluxe
3000+ 939 Winnie
X800GT
a Gig of Ram
Dual 19" monitors
and an Avermedia A80 HDTV tuner card...
ASUS A8N SLI Deluxe
3000+ 939 Winnie
X800GT
a Gig of Ram
Dual 19" monitors
and an Avermedia A80 HDTV tuner card...
I'm a little different than that. If I purposely ignored how I felt by keeping busy, I'd know the depression is lying underneath and I'm just not facing it. I don't see a problem with remembering the past, for a time. It's not "dwellling" so much, it's just appreciating the time you had together. You don't want to feel like you have to push that away to be happy now. You should remember it, appreciate it, and THEN realize that that time is now over. After doing that enough, you should able to happily move on without feeling pain that you're simply burying by keeping busy.
But that's just me. Whatever works for you!
First, It WILL get better... this is a very small percentage of your total life and the longer you live, the more likely you'll look back on this situation with a certain nostalgia. That being said.
That quote is inaccurate for the situation. The sonnets will do your self-pity better, and from what you say The dark lady sonnets specifically, for example:
[ 137 ]
Thou blind fool, Love, what cost thou to mine eyes,
That they behold and see not what they see?
They know what beauty is, see where it lies,
Yet what the best is take the worst to be.
If eyes, corrupt by over-partial looks,
Be anchored in the bay where all men ride,
Why of eyes' falsehood hast thou forged hooks,
Whereto the judgement of my heart is tied?
Why should my heart think that a several plot,
Which my heart knows the wide world's common place?
Or mine eyes seeing this, say this is not,
To put fair truth upon so foul a face?
In things right true my heart and eyes have erred,
And to this false plague are they now transferred
Exactly. Let time run its course. All you can do is focus on today.
LOL, sorry if I sound like Dr. Phil. But, keeping your mind busy is a must, especially since it's so recent.
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