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Neighbor is building a siege machine

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1. Cloak yourself.
2. While cloaked, disguise yourself as one of the family. Obvious options can be the wife, one of the children, or a house pet. It would not be wise to change into him, though, as it would be very apparent that you are a spy.
3. Avoid contact with them at all costs. Do your best to not cross their path as you cannot run through them like you can with your family.
4. Wait for him to leave the area and place a sapper on the catapult. Do not worry, this will not take you out of disguise.
5. If he returns, you may need to attack him before he repairs the device. Stab him in the back before he gets a chance.
6. Be quick! If he removes the sapper and you are not disguised the catapult may hurl rocks at you!
7. With him dead, and the device destroyed, press G to do a little dance.
8. lulz.
9. Disguise back into another family member and enter kitchen to steal beers. Cloak to watch wife take shower.
 
Originally posted by: Mr Pickles
1. Cloak yourself.
2. While cloaked, disguise yourself as one of the family. Obvious options can be the wife, one of the children, or a house pet. It would not be wise to change into him, though, as it would be very apparent that you are a spy.
3. Avoid contact with them at all costs. Do your best to not cross their path as you cannot run through them like you can with your family.
4. Wait for him to leave the area and place a sapper on the catapult. Do not worry, this will not take you out of disguise.
5. If he returns, you may need to attack him before he repairs the device. Stab him in the back before he gets a chance.
6. Be quick! If he removes the sapper and you are not disguised the catapult may hurl rocks at you!
7. With him dead, and the device destroyed, press G to do a little dance.
8. lulz.
9. Disguise back into another family member and enter kitchen to steal beers. Cloak to watch wife take shower.
Click to expand...

10. Disguise as husband. Join wife in shower. 😛
 
Archers are very cost effective at attacking.

Perhaps a bunch of swordsmen since you seem to need them quickly. Just find a bunch of meat heads brave enough to jump out in the front row and give them a sparkling sword.
 
Do what this guy did, he even left some pretty good directions for it. The only thing to keep in mind is that alcohol will burn the operator just fine, but I seriously doubt you could get the trebuchet itself to burn with something like that.
 
Originally posted by: TruePaige
I'd build him a giant wooden horse, and offer it as a present, and he'll think people are inside of it, but when he opens the trap door it should pour hot and sour pork on him.
Click to expand...

Why not a large wooden rabbit?
 
Originally posted by: Vidda
I prefer surrounding the trebuchet with my Cavalry and going to town. Or war elephants.
Click to expand...

That's a second vote for War Elephants. Seriously, dude, get a War Elephant.

😀
 
Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
Originally posted by: TruePaige
I'd build him a giant wooden horse, and offer it as a present, and he'll think people are inside of it, but when he opens the trap door it should pour hot and sour pork on him.
Click to expand...

Why not a large wooden rabbit?
Click to expand...

i prefer a large wooden badger
 
Taunt your neighbor with this to get him to attack before he is ready:

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

If that does not work, taunt him a second time.
 
Sneak in during the night and adjust the angle on the hook so it releases almost straight up. That way you can have him take out his own weapon.

If access to the weapon is guarded (dogs?) try an UAV (model plane) with some incindiaries.

Barring that option you can try this.
 
I have decided to ignore it. If that doesn't work, I'll appease him by letting him keep lands he has taken by force.

My yard is well treed so his troups can march in the shade.
 
Offer an alliance. March together on you annoying neighbor to the north!
 
a moat would deter him, even though a siege machine would have no trouble with it...but the sheer use of resources for a moat would deter him.
 
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