Need babbysitting tips

[JulesMaximus]

I am a pedophile

This just in: schneiderguy is a pedophile!

Also, what are the odds that my MILF neighbor is just telling me she needs a babbysitter so she can lure me over to her house and have her way with me?

Chances are nil. You are deemed harmless, that's why she asked you to watch her kid.

 

[schneiderguy]

wtf nobody asks for pics of said MILF?

I posted pics of her before.

 

[schneiderguy]

This just in: schneiderguy is a pedophile!



Chances are nil. You are deemed harmless, that's why she asked you to watch her kid.

 

[Dirigible]

Don't listen to schneiderguy, schneiderguy. You totally got her in the bag!

 

[Farmer]

Its not that hard to sit on some babbies.

 

[moshquerade]

Dear ATOT,

My MILF neighbor just called and she wants me to babbysit her babby for a couple of hours this afternoon (she must be desperate :awe.

I've never sat on any babbies before though, and I have no idea what I'm doing.

Her babby is a 4 year old boy. Can 4 year olds go to the bathroom by themselves? Can they talk? What am I supposed to do for two hours with him??? D:

Love,
schneiderguy

weirdo.

she will give you instructions.

 

[nageov3t]

a 4 year-old should be able to go to the bathroom and tell you what they like/don't like to eat when they're hungry.

I'm sure the mom will send him over with some toys; if not, just sit him down in front of the tv or screw around with some video games together.

 

[schneiderguy]

weirdo.

she will give you instructions.

You're the one with 60k posts. I think that makes you the weirdo :hmm::hmm:

 

[moshquerade]

You're the one with 60k posts. I think that makes you the weirdo :hmm::hmm:

no, it makes me speshal.

you... are still the weirdo.

 

[schneiderguy]

no, it makes me speshal.

you... are still the weirdo.

Why am I weird? :hmm:

 

[moshquerade]

Why am I weird? :hmm:

Let me count the ways...

 

[schneiderguy]

Let me count the ways...

You're weird because your avatar has a weird hat.

 

[corwin]

Don't listen to schneiderguy, schneiderguy. You totally got her in the bag!

She definitely wants you...be sure to show up at her house naked, it will make things easier

 

[pcgeek11]

I'm not a pedophile

Also, what are the odds that my MILF neighbor is just telling me she needs a babbysitter so she can lure me over to her house and have her way with me?

She wants you to baby sit so she can go out with a man....

 

[nageov3t]

weirdo.

she will give you instructions.

idk, if you don't interact with kids on a regular basis, you probably aren't super aware of their cognitive levels at different ages.

my sister's youngest (3 months) had her baptism last weekend and there was a 5 year-old at the dinner afterwards. I was pretty stunned in the difference between the 5 year-old and my 2.5 year-old niece in terms of language and reasoning abilities.

 

[BoomerD]

I'm not a pedophile

Also, what are the odds that my MILF neighbor is just telling me she needs a babbysitter so she can lure me over to her house and have her way with me?

Slim and none.

 

[blackdogdeek]

1. ask what to feed kid
2. ask what to give to drink
3. ask what emergency numbers are (milf, filf, gilf, etc)
4. ask what kid likes to do
5. do the stuff in #4

 

[BurnItDwn]

Some things I've learned over the years...

4 year olds do not have good judgement when it comes to fires. Therefore, I recommend you don't give him any matches or a lighter.
4 year olds do not know their limits with alcohol, do not give him beer, wine, or spirits.
4 year olds generally are not addicted to cigarettes, and generally their parents do not allow them to have tobacco products, do not give him smokes.
It's not recommended to take a 4 year old shooting, they do not have proper size hands or body to grip a firearm, and they often do not have the judgment skills necessary. Please do not take him shooting.

 

[schneiderguy]

K guyz thanks for the tips. I'm off to babbysit the babby now.

I put a condom in my wallet just in case the MILF wants me to sex her. Wish me luck!

 

[PlasmaBomb]

I'm not a pedophile

Also, what are the odds that my MILF neighbor is just telling me she needs a babbysitter so she can lure me over to her house and have her way with me?

Not good...

ATOT told her what a lady killer you aren't...

 

[PlasmaBomb]

K guyz thanks for the tips. I'm off to babbysit the babby now.

I put a condom in my wallet just in case the MILF wants me to sex her. Wish me luck!

Don't syringer us!

 

[edro]

This is all a setup for us to be spidered (Syringered).

 

[edro]

 

[gorcorps]

Do I need to feed/water him? Or is he old enough to ask me if he gets hungry/thirsty.

You know, I don't like your posts all the time... but I approve of this one. Actually this thread in general.

 

[gorcorps]

K guyz thanks for the tips. I'm off to babbysit the babby now.

I put a condom in my wallet just in case the MILF wants me to sex her. Wish me luck!

I have $20 that says when MILF pays him at the end of the night, he puts money in wallet, condom falls out... and then the next post we see from him is when he gets out of jail.