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Need advice concerning a nice girl I know.

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Originally posted by: Eghck
Originally posted by: The Linuxator
Originally posted by: Eghck
Originally posted by: The Linuxator
Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
Man the doubt and hesitation is killing you!!!

Once you get her alone at the coffee shop you HAVE to end this drama! Something like

I wanted to speak to you away from work, because I think your a really nice person and enjoy being around you at work and I really would like to take you out sometime if you feel the same way.

No wishy washy crap, put your cards on the table and be done with it. If she says yes WOOT! if she says no, wallow in self pity for a few hours and move on. Simple as that
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What if she is hesitated too, if I put her under the question of a yes or no she might get afraid and say no!! Where she would have wanted to say yes or something. I don't know I am just afraid of loosing this one, It took me 5 freaking years to find a girl that is up to my taste and I am not ready for 5 more.
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Look, you're setting yourself up for failiure (though it may not be immediate). You're going to be so damn nervous, that she won't be able to see you as someone who can take care of her, protect her, or provide for her because you're so damn insecure, and that will be why this doesn't work out. She'll either like you or she won't, but she definitely will not like the fact that you can't be a man about it. If you can't muster up the courage to handle this with confidence, how are you ever going to have the balls to take charge of a situation when she needs you to. If you're too scared right now, just hang out and wait to ask her if shes seeing someone, but if you don't do it soon, she might grow tired of waiting and look elsewhere.
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Come on, "not be a man about it" I had rough times with girls before that's why I am doing all this planning and what not, I want to be safe from another heart break it's hard to live with, I don't know.
"If you can't muster up the courage to handle this with confidence" OK I did muster up the courage to ask her out, the right way, as a matter of fact she didn't seem more confident than me when I asked her out.
" she might grow tired of waiting and look elsewhere." How can she get tired of waiting while I am going to ask the question on the 1st meeting ?
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Most people have gotten rejected at least once but its really not a big deal. Just seems like you're making this way too unnatural with all the planning because you're scared of the rejection and you're really invested in this. You're second guessing yourself too much but sounds like you have a plan, so just stick to it and stop worrying about it. If you two are compatible, you'll just hit it off and the rest will take care of itself. Doing anything other than being yourself might get you in the door, but you can't fake it forever.
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What would I give If can only stop worrying about it 🙁
 
Try to accept these statements:

Screw her I can do better. I am going out with her because one I am bored and second I am going to leave the office for a few months thought I let her know she is hot in bed. Anyway who cares probably going to find someone hotter while I am out.

Life is short, you cannot control anything but yourself so why worried about the things you can?t control? Have coffee, tell her you like her and if she is cool with it to go out with you if not its perfectly fine. I don?t see how if you out of the office for 3 months matters much to her. She will either

A. She accepts
B. She rejects
C. She needs time to think about it, which goes back to A or B

And no matter the outcome it is just life.
 
Originally posted by: Blindman
Try to accept these statements:

Screw her I can do better. I am going out with her because one I am bored and second I am going to leave the office for a few months thought I let her know she is hot in bed. Anyway who cares probably going to find someone hotter while I am out.

Life is short, you cannot control anything but yourself so why worried about the things you can?t control? Have coffee, tell her you like her and if she is cool with it to go out with you if not its perfectly fine. I don?t see how if you out of the office for 3 months matters much to her. She will either

A. She accepts
B. She rejects
C. She needs time to think about it, which goes back to A or B

And no matter the outcome it is just life.
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OK that's another way of looking at it , thanks for your input.
 
I am implying rejection and acceptance is part of life. You have no control of the choice she makes. All you can do is cause her to make the choice. Does worrying or apprehension helps in her decision process? No one really knows but her. More important is the question, why are you worried if you know there is two outcomes to the question?

Oh and to addI have had my share of rejections and quite a lot of it. My friends would probably say I have enough for two guys. And yes I was worried and held back on a few possibilites. Now I look back and just laugh.

 
Originally posted by: Blindman
I am implying rejection and acceptance is part of life. You have no control of the choice she makes. All you can do is cause her to make the choice. Does worrying or apprehension helps in her decision process? No one really knows but her. More important is the question, why are you worried if you know there is two outcomes to the question?

Oh and to addI have had my share of rejections and quite a lot of it. My friends would probably say I have enough for two guys. And yes I was worried and held back on a few possibilites. Now I look back and just laugh.
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Hopefully after tonight I will look back and laugh at all of this with acceptance on my side.
The reason that I am nerveous is because I am going into this relationship, and I intend to make of it a very serious relationship. I want something that lasts , and thinking about it, I see a great potential for her to be the one if you know what I mean, of course that depends on how much of her personality I will be able to explore after tonight, and I would like to be with her for a while before I ask her anyhting else.

I am sick of browsing around for the right girl, I want to put an end to things now.
I know this is too hasty for me, but I decided that I need someone in my life, and if she says that she likes me too, I am willing to get engaged to her in less than a year, after that we will see how things go.

Perhaps now you know what is the problem, girls like her are hard to find, and I don't want to miss the oppurtunity to make something out of it. If she feels the same way about me, I bet she will understand my decesion about taking sometime and looking into the possibility of something serious coming from all of this.

I have 2 & 1/2 years ahead of me for graduation, and not planning about getting married to any girl unless I finish my education, so if things work out tonight I am planing to use the time I have left till graduation to get to know more about her.
 
chances are that the correct answer is:

a) she really remembered that she has something to do.

look, just take a chance. the chances are that things will work out, based on your account. whenever i was coming home for christmas break, a girl asked to sit at my table at an airport california pizza kitchen express to eat because all the other seats were taken. i started talking to her and at the end of the conversation, i realized that she was really cool. so, i went back to my luggage to make sure no one pushed it out of my place in line and to make sure the airport wasn't there. then, i wrote my name and contact info on a piece of scrap paper and hunted her down (checked to find out which gate was heading to where she was going) and approached her and told her to keep in touch. we've been talking everyday since for hours and it looks like i'm gonna have to take a little trip to visit her as her christmas present (not my idea).

taking a chance is worth it, even if you lose.

EDIT: looking good as sh.it always helps, too 😉
 
Dude, don't flip out. Coming from a girl, I would have done the same thing if I was surprised. Change it to the next day so I have a little more preparation and a little more time to calm down. As for the phone number thing, I wouldn't have accepted if I wasn't planning on giving it to you anyways.

You'll be fine, just don't skirt around it. She accepted, so she obviously likes you. Everyone is right, if she didn't like you, and didn't want to be mean about it, she would have said maybe some other time. In fact, I'd be disappointed if you didn't ask for my number and you were leaving for a while.

Don't wimp out. All signs point to yes.
 
Originally posted by: Rill22
Dude, don't flip out. Coming from a girl, I would have done the same thing if I was surprised. Change it to the next day so I have a little more preparation and a little more time to calm down. As for the phone number thing, I wouldn't have accepted if I wasn't planning on giving it to you anyways.

You'll be fine, just don't skirt around it. She accepted, so she obviously likes you. Everyone is right, if she didn't like you, and didn't want to be mean about it, she would have said maybe some other time. In fact, I'd be disappointed if you didn't ask for my number and you were leaving for a while.

Don't wimp out. All signs point to yes.
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Ah finally advice from the opposite sex, finally someone to decode all of my girl's secret code. It's good to know that you think she accepted because she wanted to and not becasue she felt pressured, I want you to stay tuned for more decoding work after I come back from work in the morning, there is going to be a lot of that to do 😉. Thank you for the support.
 
Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Ah finally advice from the opposite sex, finally someone to decode all of my girls's secret code. It's good to know that you think she accepted because she wanted to and not becasue she felt pressured, I want you to stay tuned for more decoding work after I come back from work in the morning, there is going to be a lot of that to do 😉. Thank you for the support.
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Lol, I posted advice a while back too. I'd be happy to provide all the support and advice I can, but I will be spending my day flying back home across the country tomorrow. I'll check out your update on Friday.

Good luck, and sorry I can't help you "decode" sooner than that. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Rill22
Originally posted by: The Linuxator

Ah finally advice from the opposite sex, finally someone to decode all of my girls's secret code. It's good to know that you think she accepted because she wanted to and not becasue she felt pressured, I want you to stay tuned for more decoding work after I come back from work in the morning, there is going to be a lot of that to do 😉. Thank you for the support.
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Lol, I posted advice a while back too. I'd be happy to provide all the support and advice I can, but I will be spending my day flying back home across the country tomorrow. I'll check out your update on Friday.

Good luck, and sorry I can't help you "decode" sooner than that. 🙂
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Oh well it's better than nothing, have a nice flight.
 
when you see her, no matter how she looks, tell her she looks nice... but don't overdo it. also, sometimes people talk a lot when they get nervous... make sure you shut up and let her have the talking time 60% of the time. otherwise, it may just seem like you aren't interested in her and you're only interested in yourself. girls like talking about themselves, so let her.

that's about all you need to know.

oh, also, feel things out about her sense of humor... that way, it'd be easier to make her laugh when you know how to joke around.
 
Originally posted by: The Linuxator
update :
(Comes back in one minute) Yeah I have just remembered that I have some things to do today after work, would tomorrow be ok ?
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Hahahaha. So, she found out that the headache isn't the reason you asked her to go get coffee!

Well, if she actually goes with you on the 29th, you are golden.

EDIT: If she doesn't go with you on the 29th, jsut forget about here and move on. She figured you out 😉
 
Originally posted by: eits
when you see her, no matter how she looks, tell her she looks nice... but don't overdo it. also, sometimes people talk a lot when they get nervous... make sure you shut up and let her have the talking time 60% of the time. otherwise, it may just seem like you aren't interested in her and you're only interested in yourself. girls like talking about themselves, so let her.

that's about all you need to know.

oh, also, feel things out about her sense of humor... that way, it'd be easier to make her laugh when you know how to joke around.
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Concerning her sense of humor, it's one of the main reasons that I like her, as I said in the OP we really laugh at the same things and we enjoy each other's company.
"when you see her, no matter how she looks, tell her she looks nice... but don't overdo it" OK here is the situation, I see here first at 1 o'clock in the office, on the staff meeting and we then keep seeing each other at a close distance, and most of the time we are walking by each other in the office. I don't think I would want ot tell her that she looks nice at work, I want to save all the flirting till after , at the coffee shop or something.

Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Originally posted by: The Linuxator
update :
(Comes back in one minute) Yeah I have just remembered that I have some things to do today after work, would tomorrow be ok ?
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Hahahaha. So, she found out that the headache isn't the reason you asked her to go get coffee!

Well, if she actually goes with you on the 29th, you are golden.

EDIT: If she doesn't go with you on the 29th, jsut forget about here and move on. She figured you out 😉
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Well guess what would be more golden, if I can take her out to watch some fireworks show downtown or something on new year's eve , perhaps I can score a kiss then 😉, we are both working extra on Saturday morning and I will see if she would like to do something after that.

OK there is more time left, so keep the support coming guys & girls :thumbsup:
 
Originally posted by: HomeAppraiser
From your last post about marriage I thought you weren't interested in relations right now Linuxator.
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I just realised that giving it another whirl will not harm anyone, and judging from everyone's comments , I am like what if I do enjoy a relationship, so I have got nothing to lose is my conclusion.
 
Good luck! If you get along half as well as you said in your original post, you have nothing to worry about.

(And not all girls love talking about themselves! I hate when guys are unresponsive and leave me to do all the talking. Asking questions is good, but odds are she wants to know more about you too!)

Best wishes! 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Rill22
Good luck! If you get along half as well as you said in your original post, you have nothing to worry about.

(And not all girls love talking about themselves! I hate when guys are unresponsive and leave me to do all the talking. Asking questions is good, but odds are she wants to know more about you too!)

Best wishes! 🙂
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You see that's what I couldn't figure out, it's true the girl would like some space to talk, but she is talking so that she want's to tell the guy more about herself, but the guy must have something to say back you know!

Anyway, thanks again Rill22 , be sure to check back soon.

OK guys 25 minutes and counting 😀
 
Originally posted by: The Linuxator

"when you see her, no matter how she looks, tell her she looks nice... but don't overdo it" OK here is the situation, I see here first at 1 o'clock in the office, on the staff meeting and we then keep seeing each other at a close distance, and most of the time we are walking by each other in the office. I don't think I would want ot tell her that she looks nice at work, I want to save all the flirting till after , at the coffee shop or something.
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dude, that's when you'd WANT to tell her she looks nice. if you meet her there, just say "wow, you look nice" in a joking way, as if you hadn't seen her until just then. she'll laugh.

based on how you're feeling after making that comment, you can add "there's a cute girl i work with who was wearing the same thing, today... but she went to get coffee with some guy"

you'll be so in.

and good luck on the kiss on new years. something tells me that's got potential to screw things up, believe it or not. you might want to just hold it to a hug or a kiss on the cheek, even if she wants one on the lips.
 
Well its looking pretty good man. Be sure to get up w/her soon, but not to soon. Vague enough? 😉

Seriously things are going well, so just go with the flow. Also try to calm down about thist stuff! Confidence has gotten you where you are and will keep you there, just take it down a couple notches so you don't scare the girl off 😉

Good luck and keep us updated 🙂
 
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