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Need a clean joke
- Thread starter FDF12389
- Start date
Mr Pickles
Diamond Member
Take my wife... please.
flxnimprtmscl
Diamond Member
Are dead baby jokes acceptable?
L
Lola
Why do you need a joke for a speech class?
Demon-Xanth
Lifer
"Duke Nukem Forever"
Two guys are at a bar at the top of the empire state building and one guy turns to the other and says "You know, if you jump off the wind currents will push you into the 6th floor window and you'll be unhurt.". The second guy says no way, so the first guy jumps off. And sure enough, he goes right into the 6th floor window and comes back up the elevator. The second guy says "that was a fluke, no way you could do that again." So the first guy jumps off again, and amazingly enough, right in the 6th floor window. Seeing this the second guy jumps, and falls right past the 6th floor window and smacks the ground. As the first guy returns, the bartender says "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
Two guys are at a bar at the top of the empire state building and one guy turns to the other and says "You know, if you jump off the wind currents will push you into the 6th floor window and you'll be unhurt.". The second guy says no way, so the first guy jumps off. And sure enough, he goes right into the 6th floor window and comes back up the elevator. The second guy says "that was a fluke, no way you could do that again." So the first guy jumps off again, and amazingly enough, right in the 6th floor window. Seeing this the second guy jumps, and falls right past the 6th floor window and smacks the ground. As the first guy returns, the bartender says "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
Demon-Xanth
Lifer
He's the in the speech class. Let him tell it better. I'm the one bored at work after being woken up at 2AM by a fire at a neighboring house that melted the insulation on the overhead phone lines. First time I talked to a 911 operator without being in the same room.
uberman
Golden Member
I've taught speech and I'm somewhat amazed why you'd need a joke for a speech. People often try humor because they feel nervous about speaking in front of others. Is this a demonstration speech where you'll be displaying and describing something to others. This is an early type of speech used in a speech class to allow speakers to take the spotlight off themselves and hold something so they feel less nervous.
Public speaking is incredible the way it makes people feel nervous. I had seniors practicing for senior exit projects. They had to speak in front of their peers (only 9 students) and they were terrified. I was teaching native Spanish speakers at the time. One student apologized and said he was "embrazada."
I questioned whether he was really "embrazada" and whether that had caused him to mess up his speech. He meant that he had been embarrassed, because "embrazada" means you are pregnant. The teenage boy was not pregnant to the best of our knowledge.
Public speaking is incredible the way it makes people feel nervous. I had seniors practicing for senior exit projects. They had to speak in front of their peers (only 9 students) and they were terrified. I was teaching native Spanish speakers at the time. One student apologized and said he was "embrazada."
I questioned whether he was really "embrazada" and whether that had caused him to mess up his speech. He meant that he had been embarrassed, because "embrazada" means you are pregnant. The teenage boy was not pregnant to the best of our knowledge.
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100
years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.
It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "he'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along,"
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100
years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.
It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "he'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along,"
Atomic Playboy
Lifer
Why does it need to be clean?
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