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my roommate is a slimeball (full story now in top post)

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women cheat just as much (if not more so) than men .... i think you are silly for thinking his gf is off in france and its IMPOSSIBLE that she is getting in a little side action as well. the best thing you can do is mind your own business ... maybe they have an understanding (spoken or unspoken) that you know nothing about. maybe she cheated on him already and this is his revenge ... you really have no business judging unless you can state with 100% certainty what the truth of the situation is ... everything else is just hearsay
 
Dude, my first roommates were a couple - a big, fat couple. He played rugby, she looked like she should play rugby. She was so bloody obnoxious and loud. Sometimes they had sex. From within my room in the basement, I could hear it all. I went like this:

She calls him at the top of her lungs to come to bed. Thumping down the stairs, he complies. An eerie quiet. A moment or two later intense and rapid squeeking of bed frame directly above me ensues. Fast, then slow, fast, then slow, fast, slow, fast, climax, slow, slow. Finish. Three minutes.

Thump, thump, thump... He makes his way to the bathroom to, er, clean off.

An hour of talking and fade out...

This happened once a week. It annoyed me. Why? Not because they were having sex, but because they were fat and ugly and having sex. And I could hear it.

At the time I was single, when I brought a lass home I was, uh, less audible. (I long since learned to leave my mattress and box spring on the floor, minus the squeeky frame.)

Anyway, you know what I did? I put an entire box worth of Exlax in their chocolate chunk ice cream.

Petty? Of course, but I'd rather hear him run for the bathroom than the bedroom.

Moral? Get even.
 
Originally posted by: purepolly
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
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One of my favorite quotes of all time.

This thread is a very good example of a major problem in society... Nobody is willing to help out the innocent, if it means being inconvenienced.

You have two children who potentially want to put their faith in a man that isn't worthy of their trust. And you all are just willing to stand by and do nothing.

So very sad. 🙁


I'd tell the girlfriend, throw the guy out, and find a new roommate. I have NO ROOM in my life for dishonest people who have no intentions of sticking to their word.

Several years ago, my "best friend" cheated on his wife. The day I found out that he had no remorse was the last day I spoke to him. I choose not to surround myself with people of such little character.


"Without his word, a man is nothing. Period." --John Rembecki


 
Originally posted by: dolph
edit: sorry for giving the story piece by piece, it probably made people have different opinions than if i would have said everything up front, so here it is.

he's been dating a woman for about a year. she left for 6 weeks to go to france last thursday. tonight a bunch of us went out and he let a girl he knew that liked him come home with us. he has told me repeatedly that he won't let anything happen, but she asked if she could spend the night and he let her. now he's having audible sex with her.

he's 29, the woman he's been seeing is 34 and has 2 kids. they are seriously considering marriage.


updated info:
she is a friend of his who had been trying to take him out to dinner for his birthday for the past few weeks. she took him out to dinner at the bar before a bunch of us got there, which was all planned in advance. she's wanted him for months, but he's always had his girlfriend. nothing had ever happened before his gf left with her or any other girl. he wasn't drunk. he asked me to go home before he did so he could have a chance to walk her back to the metro station so she wouldn't spend the night. i complied, and went to my bedroom when i got home. i was already in bed when i heard them come in, so i didn't go out to meet them. before too long, they had already gone to bed.

to answer all of your hypothetical questions... he doesn't sleep around with other women, at least for the 6 months i've known him. there's no turmoil in their relationship. she's going to france for an architecture seminar, not to get some ass before (if) they get married.


i just lost a lot of respect for my roommate 🙁.
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be a man, you p*ssy. you're a disgrace to men everywhere.

tell your roommate I said to keep up the good work.
 
Originally posted by: spanky
Originally posted by: dolph
oh, i don't get inbetween other people's relationships. if his gf ever finds out, it won't be because of me. but the rest of the facts remain. i just wonder if he'll own up to it or pretend nothing happened
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kick the door open and take a quick pic. then blackmail him later.
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genious

make sure it is dated and timestamped too
 
Originally posted by: TheChort
I CANT BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING!!!

If I am getting the facts straight, this woman with two kids is seriously considering this man for marriage and he is fvcking with her, and all everyone can say is STAY OUT OF IT?!??!

Excuse my presumptuousness (sp?) but how can you people be so apathetic? This is precisely why a person getting mugged is more likely to elicit a response from her neighbors by yelling "fire!" rather than "rape/robbery/help!" People would rather make their own life comfortable even if that means making sure someone else's life goes to hell.

Most of the things ATOTers said I took to humor, but this one seriously hits below the belt. Shame on you.
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dude, it's not his business

f*ck what is the "right" thing to do
 
One of my favorite quotes of all time.

This thread is a very good example of a major problem in society... Nobody is willing to help out the innocent, if it means being inconvenienced.

You have two children who potentially want to put their faith in a man that isn't worthy of their trust. And you all are just willing to stand by and do nothing.

So very sad.


I'd tell the girlfriend, throw the guy out, and find a new roommate. I have NO ROOM in my life for dishonest people who have no intentions of sticking to their word.

Several years ago, my "best friend" cheated on his wife. The day I found out that he had no remorse was the last day I spoke to him. I choose not to surround myself with people of such little character.


"Without his word, a man is nothing. Period." --John Rembecki
Click to expand...
So true, but at the same time, "inconvenienced" is a poor choice of words to use.
I had a friend who was part of a similar situation. In the end that person did tell the wife of the guy who was cheating on her.
One year of court and legal proceedings, and that person really wish they had not done that.
Not only had they lost BOTH friendships in the process, but also time, money and effort.
All for the "sake of humanity".
rolleye.gif


In this situation, you say nothing, get involved with nothing, and hold no opinions. Leave that situation as soon as possible and in the most prudent manner.

"Good men die first."
-me 😉
 
Oh my god! Save the children! LOL.

How come when children are involved things change dramatically?

Like the kids give a sh*t about their soon to be new daddy anyway.

The kids will be fine regardless, this just might be their first dose of reality.
 
Originally posted by: Underground727
Oh my god! Save the children! LOL.

How come when children are involved things change dramatically?

Like the kids give a sh*t about their soon to be new daddy anyway.

The kids will be fine regardless, this just might be their first dose of reality.
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Please don't have kids.
 
Let sleeping dogs lie.

If I were in your sitution and I considered ther room mate a good friend, I wouldn't rat him out. My loyalties would be to him not his gf.

If the situation were reversed and the gf cheated on my good friend, I would ask if he would want to know, unless the gf told me and I promised not to tell. I don't want to go back on my word, but I could tell my friend that I didn't believe his GF was right for him.
 
Originally posted by: gotsmack
If I were in your sitution and I considered ther room mate a good friend, I wouldn't rat him out. My loyalties would be to him not his gf.
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So, your loyalties would be with the liar and cheater, not with the innocent woman and children.

Interesting. Sad... but interesting.
 
Originally posted by: Wingznut
Originally posted by: gotsmack
If I were in your sitution and I considered ther room mate a good friend, I wouldn't rat him out. My loyalties would be to him not his gf.
Click to expand...
So, your loyalties would be with the liar and cheater, not with the innocent woman and children.

Interesting. Sad... but interesting.
Click to expand...

Everyone has their faults. I'm not here to judge people. I may say things sometimes, but it is not my place to judge someone.
 
Originally posted by: gotsmack
Originally posted by: Wingznut
Originally posted by: gotsmack
If I were in your sitution and I considered ther room mate a good friend, I wouldn't rat him out. My loyalties would be to him not his gf.
Click to expand...
So, your loyalties would be with the liar and cheater, not with the innocent woman and children.

Interesting. Sad... but interesting.
Click to expand...

Everyone has their faults. I'm not here to judge people. I may say things sometimes, but it is not my place to judge someone.
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Yes, but not everyone has the fault of betraying the ones that they "love".

Imho, "I'm not here to judge people" is a major cop-out. Imho, it just means that you don't have the nads to stand up to someone who is acting so poorly. You'd rather be their "friend" then to be the one to confront their hurtful behavior.

Just imho, of course.


 
Even Jesus loved Judas and vice versa, but whether or not that was just a story is unknown. I'm sure you see my point.

People have to grow up and learn things on their own. You can't hold someone's hand forever.
 
Originally posted by: gotsmack
People have to grow up and learn things on their own. You can't hold someone's hand forever.
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Who has to "learn things on their own"? The jackass who's betraying the innocent people?

You aren't getting it. I'm not talking about holding the jackass's hand... I'm talking about helping out the woman and children by educating them as to what kind of creep that she's considering marrying, and becoming a father to her kids.
Originally posted by: gotsmack
Even Jesus loved Judas and vice versa...
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Fine. Love the jackass all you want.

But where's the love for the woman and the two children, who haven't done anything wrong? Why not "love" them, and help them out in this situation. They are the ones who are being deceived.

 
Originally posted by: Wingznut
But where's the love for the woman and the two children, who haven't done anything wrong? Why not "love" them, and help them out in this situation. They are the ones who are being deceived.
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That is a good question and where my true nature is revealed.

Bottom line: If helping someone would hurt my friend then I wouldn't help them, I'm not going to go out and try to hurt that person, but I'm not helping either.

Why? Because they don't run in my circle. Yes, a reason I wouldn't tell the GF is because our social lives don't overlap and if I cut her off, I'll be the same now as before. Like I said before, my loyalties are to my friends, not my friend's GF.
 
I'm going to also have to agree with Wing here.

Normally, I stay out of other people's business...and I always keep my loyalties with my friends. But when someone I consider a friend does this, I dont' know if I can still consider them a friend. If they can't respect their significant other (OF ONE YEAR) then how can I think that they will respect me as a friend? I don't need someone like that in my life. If I were you, as his friend/roommate, I would first confront him about it and tell him that you feel uncomfortable knowing what you know..and hope that he has the guts to tell her ESPECIALLY IF HE PLANS TO MARRY THE POOR GIRL.

If I were that girl, I would really like to know 🙁 I don't put up with cheaters. I have too much self respect and I know a lot of guys out there that would not cheat on me. Why should I settle for a guy who did? Even once as a mistake? So just so you all know, if your friend ever cheats on me. PLEASE TELL ME.
 
Originally posted by: gotsmack
Originally posted by: Wingznut
But where's the love for the woman and the two children, who haven't done anything wrong? Why not "love" them, and help them out in this situation. They are the ones who are being deceived.
Click to expand...

That is a good question and where my true nature is revealed.

Bottom line: If helping someone would hurt my friend then I wouldn't help them, I'm not going to go out and try to hurt that person, but I'm not helping either.

Why? Because they don't run in my circle. Yes, a reason I wouldn't tell the GF is because our social lives don't overlap and if I cut her off, I'll be the same now as before. Like I said before, my loyalties are to my friends, not my friend's GF.
Click to expand...

Loyalty to your friends is a very good thing, but the issue would have to do more with the quality of person who would pull this stunt, and whether they can actually be a friend to you in the first place.
 
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