my roommate is a slimeball (full story now in top post)

[Shockwave]

Originally posted by: styelers
I am glad that im not his gf.

Yeah, and I'm glad I'm not his bf...err....well...something like that.

Man, it isnt like he's the first guy in the history of men to cheat. It ahppens ALOT. By women as much as men. You guys need to chill and think of this as men just gettin back at those lyin skank hoes we know as women.

 

[TheChort]

i dont entirely retract my statment, but i do apologize for jumping to conclusions.
I do not know much about your roomate, and it would not be fair for me to judge him. If what he did is truly a mistake, then perhaps it is not in his nature to cheat. But if this is a representation of his personality, and he never tells his gf, and they choose to get more serious about things, I would hope that you can step up and tell her what happened, especially since there are children involved.

I just find it odd for him to have sex with this woman when he was sober and actually intended to take her home.

 

[dolph]

any thoughts from the day shift?

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: dolph
any thoughts from the day shift?

I would tell. I know it's easy to just say stay out of it, but if my girlfriend was cheating on me.. I sure as hell would want to know. There is no excuse, and his girlfriend needs to be told before she wastes anymore time with this punk.

The problem is, you telling her probably isn't going to do anything but cause even more problems, potentially between you and your roommate. He'll probably sweet talk his way out of it with her.

It's your call. If you're willing to risk it, and you really believe in the cause.. then do it. If not, just mind your own business.. your household will be better off.

 

[Que-TiP]

is it too late to cheer him on?

 

[Ameesh]

http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html

 

[Spac3d]

WTF? You are angry because your roomate slept with someone is not your gf? I am glad you aren't my friend.

 

[nativesunshine]

You should stay out of it and hope that his guilt (assuming he has any) will eat him up and he will tell his gf the truth.

But if he cheats on her again...then you will know for a fact that this guy's a dick and he doesn't deserve to be with that woman. SHE (and her KIDS) deserve better than that also.

There's that saying..."once a cheater, always a cheater". Try talking to him about what happened..b/c i'm sure he knows that you know. If he shows remorse...he will either break up with his gf..or tell her the truth. If he tells you to "fvck off", saying it's none of your business...then you know he'll most likely do it again.

I don't know..I was cheated on myself..and my boyfriend felt so much guilt that he told me the next day. I still have doubts..and I'm so scared that he'll do it again. But, I'm taking that chance...and i'm forgiving him and hoping that he'll see how badly he messed up and badly hurt I was (and still am). If he's able to cheat on me again, knowing how wrong it is..and how guilty he felt the first time..then he doesn't deserve that second chance I gave him..and I will give up and walk away.

"Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me". Well...shame on me if it happens again..but he'll have to live the rest of his life knowing that he's not trustworthy and he that he is not deserving of love.

 

[skateallday]

i just lost a lot of respect for my roommate .[/quote]


i would have to!

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Ameesh
http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html

ROFLMFAO!!

I just want.. Bang bang bang!

LOL.....

 

[40oz]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
It is difficult, when we are possess valuable knowledge; knowledge that can destroy a relationship, or, if hidden, could destroy a marriage and a family down the line. Are you willing to risk those kids' well-being with the knowledge that this man may be a surrogate father to them?

It is not an ideal situation. Your roommate knows that you know, and will obviously know if you tell her. It is your choice; I would encourage you to sit down and examine what your options are and how responsible you want to feel for other people. How would you feel if you were in the same position? How will this affect your relationship with your roommate?

It is not an easy decision. I hope you will make the decision that is right for you.

I would have to say this is the best advice I have read so far in this thread. I usually advocate staying the fvck out of peoples' lives. However when children are involved it makes it a bit more complicated. Maybe you can give subtle hints...

 

[jjones]

Stay out of it.

Here's a moral dilemma for you:

What do you do when when you know a married couple; the girl is your very best female friend and her husband is a very good friend. She cheats on him with your very best male friend. We were all mutual friends and relationships will definately be destroyed if it were discovered. It probably would have sent us all in different directions, breaking up long friendships.

I decided to do nothing and fortunately it turned out for the best. The affair was lengthy (years) but ultimately fizzled and the married couple are still married and have a very good life together.

In other words, sh!t happens and normally nothing good comes when you get into business where you don't belong. These things have a way of working out in one manner or another without the help from outside parties.

 

[DrPizza]

I don't think this has ever been answered: Good friend? Or *just* a roommate?
If it's a good friend, you should have intervened in the beginning.... taken him aside and told him to stop and think about what he's doing. I had pretty much hooked up with a girl who was the model for some weight magazine... absolutely hot hot hot... but, my drunken (and engaged) friend was getting to familiar with the model's friend... THAT's the time when you're supposed to intervene, if you're a real friend... if you're not a friend... stay out of it.

 

[kermalou]

dont get involved becuase no matter what you will be the odd man out.....

 

[purepolly]

Originally posted by: jjones
Stay out of it.

Here's a moral dilemma for you:

What do you do when when you know a married couple; the girl is your very best female friend and her husband is a very good friend. She cheats on him with your very best male friend. We were all mutual friends and relationships will definately be destroyed if it were discovered. It probably would have sent us all in different directions, breaking up long friendships.

I decided to do nothing and fortunately it turned out for the best. The affair was lengthy (years) but ultimately fizzled and the married couple are still married and have a very good life together.

In other words, sh!t happens and normally nothing good comes when you get into business where you don't belong. These things have a way of working out in one manner or another without the help from outside parties.

Dude - you are one incredibly crappy "friend".

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: purepolly

Originally posted by: jjones
Stay out of it.

Here's a moral dilemma for you:

What do you do when when you know a married couple; the girl is your very best female friend and her husband is a very good friend. She cheats on him with your very best male friend. We were all mutual friends and relationships will definately be destroyed if it were discovered. It probably would have sent us all in different directions, breaking up long friendships.

I decided to do nothing and fortunately it turned out for the best. The affair was lengthy (years) but ultimately fizzled and the married couple are still married and have a very good life together.

In other words, sh!t happens and normally nothing good comes when you get into business where you don't belong. These things have a way of working out in one manner or another without the help from outside parties.

Dude - you are one incredibly crappy "friend".

And you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.

When I was about 20 my best friend was getting married. I caught his soon-to-be-wife cheating on him. The short story is: Told him; he didn't believe me; bad arguement ensued; he got married anyway; he asked me not to come to his wedding; lost one of the best friends of my life.

Sometimes good friends don't get involved in other people's personal lives, especially when it comes to relationships.

Edit: And if I had said nothing, I would still be friends with him. He later divorced the bitch for the cheating slut she was, and she was in a bad way. But nothing at the time would make him listen to reason. The point is, you don't know what the circumstances are surrounding their relationship, how your friend feels, what things are happening to contribute to the situation. You don't know anything about it, so stay the fvck out and mind your own business. It will sort itself out eventually and doesn't need your "help".

 

[purepolly]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: purepolly

Originally posted by: jjones
Stay out of it.

Here's a moral dilemma for you:

What do you do when when you know a married couple; the girl is your very best female friend and her husband is a very good friend. She cheats on him with your very best male friend. We were all mutual friends and relationships will definately be destroyed if it were discovered. It probably would have sent us all in different directions, breaking up long friendships.

I decided to do nothing and fortunately it turned out for the best. The affair was lengthy (years) but ultimately fizzled and the married couple are still married and have a very good life together.

In other words, sh!t happens and normally nothing good comes when you get into business where you don't belong. These things have a way of working out in one manner or another without the help from outside parties.

Dude - you are one incredibly crappy "friend".

And you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.

When I was about 20 my best friend was getting married. I caught his soon-to-be-wife cheating on him. The short story is: Told him; he didn't believe me; bad arguement ensued; he got married anyway; he asked me not to come to his wedding; lost one of the best friends of my life.

Sometimes good friends don't get involved in other people's personal lives, especially when it comes to relationships.

Sorry dude - but you got it ass backwards. You did the right thing with your best friend from your twenties - you were looking out for his best interest. That was an incredible act of courage. That's what a best friend does, even if you get burned sometimes.

With this last situation, you were just letting them play with fire and hoping it would escape you, and it has for the moment. But I ask you this - do you trust any off them not to pull the same thing on you?

 

[Wingznut]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: purepolly

Originally posted by: jjones
Stay out of it.

Here's a moral dilemma for you:

What do you do when when you know a married couple; the girl is your very best female friend and her husband is a very good friend. She cheats on him with your very best male friend. We were all mutual friends and relationships will definately be destroyed if it were discovered. It probably would have sent us all in different directions, breaking up long friendships.

I decided to do nothing and fortunately it turned out for the best. The affair was lengthy (years) but ultimately fizzled and the married couple are still married and have a very good life together.

In other words, sh!t happens and normally nothing good comes when you get into business where you don't belong. These things have a way of working out in one manner or another without the help from outside parties.

Dude - you are one incredibly crappy "friend".

And you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.

When I was about 20 my best friend was getting married. I caught his soon-to-be-wife cheating on him. The short story is: Told him; he didn't believe me; bad arguement ensued; he got married anyway; he asked me not to come to his wedding; lost one of the best friends of my life.

Sometimes good friends don't get involved in other people's personal lives, especially when it comes to relationships.

Edit: And if I had said nothing, I would still be friends with him. He later divorced the bitch for the cheating slut she was, and she was in a bad way. But nothing at the time would make him listen to reason. The point is, you don't know what the circumstances are surrounding their relationship, how your friend feels, what things are happening to contribute to the situation. You don't know anything about it, so stay the fvck out and mind your own business. It will sort itself out eventually and doesn't need your "help".

What you lost wasn't a "friend"... At least not by my definition.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: purepolly

Sorry dude - but you got it ass backwards. You did the right thing with your best friend from your twenties - you were looking out for his best interest. That was an incredible act of courage. That's what a best friend does, even if you get burned sometimes.

With this last situation, you were just letting them play with fire and hoping it would escape you, and it has for the moment. But I ask you this - do you trust any off them not to pull the same thing on you?

How do you presume to know what my friend's best interests are? That's what I thought at the time when I was struggling with the decision to tell him or not. I felt I was obligated to tell him because he was my best friend; anything less than best friend and I wouldn't have said anything at all.

As it turned out, it was not in his best interests. His best interest was to get married, apparently no matter what. As for my other friends, saying something would have destroyed friendship amongst all of us. How do I know that the guy who was being cheated on didn't already know or would have just preferred not to know? You don't know these answers and you're just projecting how you feel onto someone else. Relationships between men and women are complicated and anyone on the outside of that relationship just can't know enough to justify meddling in it.

 

[Wingznut]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: purepolly

Sorry dude - but you got it ass backwards. You did the right thing with your best friend from your twenties - you were looking out for his best interest. That was an incredible act of courage. That's what a best friend does, even if you get burned sometimes.

With this last situation, you were just letting them play with fire and hoping it would escape you, and it has for the moment. But I ask you this - do you trust any off them not to pull the same thing on you?

How do you presume to know what my friend's best interests are? That's what I thought at the time when I was struggling with the decision to tell him or not. I felt I was obligated to tell him because he was my best friend; anything less than best friend and I wouldn't have said anything at all.

As it turned out, it was not in his best interests. His best interest was to get married, apparently no matter what. As for my other friends, saying something would have destroyed friendship amongst all of us. How do I know that the guy who was being cheated on didn't already know or would have just preferred not to know? You don't know these answers and you're just projecting how you feel onto someone else. Relationships between men and women are complicated and anyone on the outside of that relationship just can't know enough to justify meddling in it.

You don't think that NOT MARRYING the woman would've been better than what actually happened? I just hope that they didn't have kids, and drag their poor little lives through her crap.

You did the right thing... You really did. It's unfortunate that he chose not to listen to you, but it sure doesn't sound like this marriage was in his "best interest."

I would like to think that any of my friends would inform me if they knew my wife was screwing around.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: Wingznut
What you lost wasn't a "friend"... At least not by my definition.

Friends are just people. Everyone makes mistakes at one time or another. A true friend is one who can forgive another their mistakes. We probably could have stayed friends but we went our separate ways after that and lost touch. I'm sure if I saw him today we would probably be instant friends again without missing a beat. Life is that way sometimes; paths stray and never come together again.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: Wingznut
You don't think that NOT MARRYING the woman would've been better than what actually happened? I just hope that they didn't have kids, and drag their poor little lives through her crap.

You did the right thing... You really did. It's unfortunate that he chose not to listen to you, but it sure doesn't sound like this marriage was in his "best interest."

I would like to think that any of my friends would inform me if they knew my wife was screwing around.

How can you presume to know what is better for someone? Maybe he just needed to get that whole marriage thing out of his system. It seemed that way to me after the fact. He was determined to get married to this girl and for himself, this was in his best interests. How can you justify imposing what you think are his bests interests. Simply because you think so? You're just meddling in someone else's life.

 

[DrPizza]

I've gotta agree with purepolly and wingz

 

[purepolly]

How do you presume to know what my friend's best interests are? That's what I thought at the time when I was struggling with the decision to tell him or not. I felt I was obligated to tell him because he was my best friend; anything less than best friend and I wouldn't have said anything at all.

As it turned out, it was not in his best interests. His best interest was to get married, apparently no matter what. As for my other friends, saying something would have destroyed friendship amongst all of us. How do I know that the guy who was being cheated on didn't already know or would have just preferred not to know? You don't know these answers and you're just projecting how you feel onto someone else. Relationships between men and women are complicated and anyone on the outside of that relationship just can't know enough to justify meddling in it.[/quote]

Hon - I was your "best friend", and any friend that would have been willing to take a punch for me - when I didn't see it coming would be worth his weight in gold. You did the right thing the first time.

As for your other friends, if they really cared about you they would not have put you in the middle.

 

[Aceshigh]

Originally posted by: ThisIsMatt
Tell him either he has to break up with the other girl or you'll let her know one way or the other.

If it were me, I'd be way uncomfortable being the roomate in that situation if I just stood by and let him dick around with the girl w/kids...