My Life is in Shambles

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
1,922
0
0
Maybe it'll help to chat about it...

Man, I've had a TOUGH year. It began when my wife of about 7 years and I decided to separate. We don't have any kids. It had been a pretty good marriage, but we wondered if we should settle for pretty good. I just never quite completely commited to the marriage. So we decided to separate and just take some time to ourselves for a while. Long story short, within 5 months she was pregnant for someone else. That was a shocker to me. But, then again, she's been going to college and making lots of friends and partying and all, so I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised. Sad though, since she's been working on her Bachelor's forever, and was finally getting close. She's had the baby now, and she's trying to go ahead and finish her last two semesters. Anyway, I just signed the final divorce papers today. I think we should've just stayed together. I've done nothing to move on. She always calls me and needs money, and I give it to her. And she's just now telling the father about the baby. What a mess we made for thinking about greener grass. Ah well, I hope to be over her one day, and be happier than ever in true love.

So, that's only the beginning. Next, after I find out she's pregnant, Katrina hits. I discover that I had let my flood insurance lapse and I lost everything. I've been living in FEMA trailers. My job has actually taken care of me really well, which is one blessing I've had. And, my Home Owner's insurance was much more generous than all of my neighbors' insurances were. So, I'm working to rebuild, etc.. when the next big bomb drops...

My older brother, 38 with two small kids, is diagnosed with advanced cancer. My parents are all torn up, as am I and my younger brother. We're making regular trips to M.D. Anderson in Houston for the chemotherapy and staying with him and his family a lot since they need the help and support and all. It's so strange, he was the healthy one. He eats right and exercises and everything. Go figure.
It's so weird. I don't know how to talk about it with him. What do you say? I mean we're all trying to remain hopeful, but the statistics for his stage of cancer aren't good. Has anyone gone through this sort of thing? I'm just spending as much time with him and his family as I can, and hoping for the best.

Well, if nothing else, I hope you feel better about your life, and remember to count your blessings.
 

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
All I can say to comfort you is that in the end,
when you take your last breath,
when your heart and tissues and all cease to continue their normal tasks,
what will determine whether you die smiling or not is what you managed to accomplished in your life in spite of your hardships.


Dieing with a smile on my face is my only goal in life, which encomapsses everything else.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,550
940
126
That sucks. Seems like you have a pretty positive outlook though even though you've gone through so much lately. I sincerely hope your brother will beat the cancer.

Best of luck.
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
Cancer is a tough cloud to have hanging over your head. Just spend as much time with him as possible. You should also break all ties with your preggo ex-wife... that's not helping anything and she's got other people to support her... it isn't your responsibility. Good luck to your family.
 

SilentZero

Diamond Member
Apr 8, 2003
5,158
0
76
Wow. I am sorry things have been so rough on you and your family. I certainly hope things take a turn for the better!
 

GuitarDaddy

Lifer
Nov 9, 2004
11,465
1
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:( Sorry to hear

It's been a tough year for our family also

November - Uncle passed away
December - Mother in Law died of Heart attack
January - Father in Law killed in a car wreck
 

mb

Lifer
Jun 27, 2004
10,233
2
71
:(

Man, I don't know what to say other than I hope things get better for you. That and I would stay far far away from your ex if I were you.. no good can come of any communication with her..
 

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
1,922
0
0
Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
Originally posted by: kermalou
dump the b!tch and move on.

Did you read the damn thread you tool.

Stick in there man :beer:

Haha! Thanks, but he's kinda right. She still comes around, and I still giver her money and have sex with her:eek: I know that doesn't sound right.

 

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Also, try to both enjoy your brothers comapny and try your best to make sure he enjoys yours until the bitter end.


We all die. It's how we live, how we deal with our humanity, with our hardships, how we overcome, that defines how special we really are.

Keep your head up and make sure the freezing rain of life hits you in the face. NEver keep your head down.
 

hjo3

Diamond Member
May 22, 2003
7,354
4
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Surely you're not giving your ex money while you're living in FEMA trailers? What kind of cancer did your brother get hit with?

Sorry things are going so badly. Oh well, could be worse, right? Small consolation, I suppose.

EDIT: Wow... that woman of yours is a peice of work. You should really get away from that.
 

Pepsei

Lifer
Dec 14, 2001
12,895
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get rid of the woman, give all your attention to you family first. good luck.
 

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Originally posted by: Aztech
Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
Originally posted by: kermalou
dump the b!tch and move on.

Did you read the damn thread you tool.

Stick in there man :beer:

Haha! Thanks, but he's kinda right. She still comes around, and I still giver her money and have sex with her:eek: I know that doesn't sound right.

Sex for money? with THE EX?

YOU DAWGGGGGGGG:p


Counts your fvkings man.....err blessings:p
 

PokerGuy

Lifer
Jul 2, 2005
13,650
201
101
Sorry to hear about how things have been going for ya, hopefully things will turn up, it's always darkest just before dawn.

I haven't gone through a situation like you're going through with your brother, that's tough. With regard to the ex, I think you were very very fortunate to get out of that the way you did. Obviously, she was not really commited either, and you got out of it before any kids came along -- you'd be really screwed then.

Anyway, good luck to you, hang in there.....
 
Feb 10, 2000
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Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
That sucks. Seems like you have a pretty positive outlook though even though you've gone through so much lately. I sincerely hope your brother will beat the cancer.

Best of luck.

Agreed on all counts. Keep up the positive attitude - best of luck to you for a better 2006, and I hope your bro makes a full recovery.
 

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
1,922
0
0
Originally posted by: Goosemaster
Also, try to both enjoy your brothers comapny and try your best to make sure he enjoys yours until the bitter end.


We all die. It's how we live, how we deal with our humanity, with our hardships, how we overcome, that defines how special we really are.

Keep your head up and make sure the freezing rain of life hits you in the face. NEver keep your head down.
Well said. He's doing pretty good emotionally, considering the circumstances. He kinda said the same thing. That none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow anyway. I think the hardest part for him so far is thinking about leaving a wife and kids behind.

 

Shadowknight

Diamond Member
May 4, 2001
3,959
3
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She got pregnant within 5 months of your separation, then you got divorced. Even for a separation, it shows you got divorced while the gettin' was good. Also? Don't give her cash, it's not your kid or your responsibility. Use the cash for your brother or to get in a better housing situation.
 

Aztech

Golden Member
Jan 19, 2002
1,922
0
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Originally posted by: hjo3
Surely you're not giving your ex money while you're living in FEMA trailers? What kind of cancer did your brother get hit with?

Sorry things are going so badly. Oh well, could be worse, right? Small consolation, I suppose.

EDIT: Wow... that woman of yours is a peice of work. You should really get away from that.
Yes, I am giving her money. I still care about her. She had moved to an apartment and she got completely wiped out too. And even though, she seemed to quickly move on from me, I can't let her and her baby suffer.

My brother got kidney cancer, that spread to the lungs and lymph node(s).

 

Kerouactivist

Diamond Member
Jul 12, 2001
4,665
0
76

Sorry man, what a tough year. I hope things start going your way.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
Albert Camus
 

JasonSix78

Platinum Member
Mar 5, 2005
2,020
1
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I'm so sorry to hear about all of that Aztech. I sincerely hope things turn around for you and that you'll find a great gal and move on. I've been through watching a loved one suffer and it definitely takes a toll on a person. Keep optimistic, things will get better for you. I'll be praying for you and your brother.

-Jason