How are things Eli... You need to keep us updated. As your emotions change so can our comments and suggestions.
My gf of 8 yrs broke up with me in march. It still hurts everyday. I still choke back tears every now and then. Sorry to hear about it man. Nothing you can really do except breathe and continue...
Give yourself some time, one day at a time. A good rule of thumb is to give yourself half the time you were together to get completely over her (assuming you were in marriage-oriented relationship), i.e. if you were together for 2 years, give yourself 1 year to work through it all.
Hey Eli,
U sound like a great guy and she sounds like a great girl. It's a shame, but thiings happen. Life is rough and everyone is dealt their own hand. I wish you all the luck in the world to recover and get over her.
U really need a new hobby to get immersed in to pass your free time. Like volunteering with kids, something that makes u feel like you're contributing positively to ur neighborhood.
The measure of a man is how he handles himself during tough times.
Good Luck.
AJ.
U sound like a great guy and she sounds like a great girl. It's a shame, but thiings happen. Life is rough and everyone is dealt their own hand. I wish you all the luck in the world to recover and get over her.
U really need a new hobby to get immersed in to pass your free time. Like volunteering with kids, something that makes u feel like you're contributing positively to ur neighborhood.
The measure of a man is how he handles himself during tough times.
Good Luck.
AJ.
Two tips here:
if it was the worst, it is all down hill easy from here.
Honest to god's truth is go to the gym and work out.
do NOT stay at home
ANd it's tough bullet to bite, but it is better now than later (ie married)
OMG WHY TF WOULD YOU GET A JOINT ACCOUNT WITH A GIRLFRIEND!
If she bounces a check (cuz your money is missing) you are liable for the damages, too!
Get that account closed!
PowerEngineer
Diamond Member
- Oct 22, 2001
- 3,615
- 799
- 136
Very sorry Eli. I know it doesn't help much, but remember the old saying that "this too shall pass". It is true -- eventually. Hang in there!
Since this seems to be something she's been thinking through but you weren't, she may have taken some actions that you should check into. You really do owe it to yourself to settle and close out all joint bank accounts and credit cards. You could otherwise become liable for payments on purchases she later makes. You also need to remove her name from any property that have both names on the title. You might also want to change the benefiaries on any life insurance or retirement accounts.
I know this will sound callous to you right now, but it really is important for you!
Good luck!
Maybe this will help
link
OK, for all you people that called shens, this was really me, my alias was desperate.
Unfortunately the edit didn't work out. On our first counseling session my ex-wife said she could never give him up, she loved him. The counselor said straight up if she couldn't stop communicating with him there was no hope for our marriage.
I filed for a divorce the next day. I moved on with my life. I gave her several opportunites to change her mind for the first two months. She wouldn't budge.
It is now six months later and I am finally over it. Part of the credit goes to her, you wouldn't believe how horrible she behaves. She still talks to the loser over 6 hours a day on the telephone and still hasn't even met him in person!
He is 5' 5" in height, weighs 265 lbs and doesn't have a job!!!!!!!!!!!
She is still unhappy and depressed.
I on the other hand met an old business aquaintance who is the same age as I am.
Her husband left her unexpectedly and stole more than $40,000 from her business account.
She owns three insurance companies and is very successful, independent and intelligent.
After talking for a month or so, she became interested in me and calls me three of four times a day. She makes me feel like a person again, when I look at her I wonder how I thought the sun rose and set on my ex. I have made it a priority to maintain a great relationship with our kids, she has not. Consequently they are now living with me.
She got what she deserved and so did I.
I know how bad you feel, but life does get better. I told myself that a million times while I was devastated, I had to remind myself there was reasons to go on. During this time I saw no hope, but faith and knowing that time would heal all wounds kept me going though the darkest nights (there was a lot of those!).
People might tell you to find someone else and move on, that's what I was trying to do in my original post. But sometimes you have to go it alone, and get things straight in your own head first. I never found anyone to talk to for a long time, but frankly that allowed me to look deep inside myself and get over things, instead of pushing them aside and ignoring them. You have to face the pain to truly get over it, it sucks but only you can deal with this horrible crap, no one can do it for you. It does help to hang with friends and family, or even take a drive and go to a public place if you are really feeling down.
Just have faith and believe that things will get better for you, no matter how bad it seems now. PM if you really need someone to talk to, I will be there for you.
Best of luck!
link
OK, for all you people that called shens, this was really me, my alias was desperate.
Unfortunately the edit didn't work out. On our first counseling session my ex-wife said she could never give him up, she loved him. The counselor said straight up if she couldn't stop communicating with him there was no hope for our marriage.
I filed for a divorce the next day. I moved on with my life. I gave her several opportunites to change her mind for the first two months. She wouldn't budge.
It is now six months later and I am finally over it. Part of the credit goes to her, you wouldn't believe how horrible she behaves. She still talks to the loser over 6 hours a day on the telephone and still hasn't even met him in person!
He is 5' 5" in height, weighs 265 lbs and doesn't have a job!!!!!!!!!!!
She is still unhappy and depressed.
I on the other hand met an old business aquaintance who is the same age as I am.
Her husband left her unexpectedly and stole more than $40,000 from her business account.
She owns three insurance companies and is very successful, independent and intelligent.
After talking for a month or so, she became interested in me and calls me three of four times a day. She makes me feel like a person again, when I look at her I wonder how I thought the sun rose and set on my ex. I have made it a priority to maintain a great relationship with our kids, she has not. Consequently they are now living with me.
She got what she deserved and so did I.
I know how bad you feel, but life does get better. I told myself that a million times while I was devastated, I had to remind myself there was reasons to go on. During this time I saw no hope, but faith and knowing that time would heal all wounds kept me going though the darkest nights (there was a lot of those!).
People might tell you to find someone else and move on, that's what I was trying to do in my original post. But sometimes you have to go it alone, and get things straight in your own head first. I never found anyone to talk to for a long time, but frankly that allowed me to look deep inside myself and get over things, instead of pushing them aside and ignoring them. You have to face the pain to truly get over it, it sucks but only you can deal with this horrible crap, no one can do it for you. It does help to hang with friends and family, or even take a drive and go to a public place if you are really feeling down.
Just have faith and believe that things will get better for you, no matter how bad it seems now. PM if you really need someone to talk to, I will be there for you.
Best of luck!
erikistired
Diamond Member
- Sep 27, 2000
- 9,739
- 0
- 0
Originally posted by: isasir
I call shens. Desperate said he had over 2500 posts and you only have 2448 as of this message.
Some people can't accept a truth when it hits them in the face.
This was me, I was trying to help the OP, so take your skepticism somewhere else please.
If you need me to dig up the old password for that account and say hi to you in that thread, let me know....
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
Sorry to hear about your situation Eli!
I hope you will start to feel better soon enough... (and people wonder why I'm still single; I don't know if I'd like to experience crap like this!)
I hope you will start to feel better soon enough... (and people wonder why I'm still single; I don't know if I'd like to experience crap like this!)
That sucks. Though you should be able to live your life without a significant other.
There are also millions of other women out there, many of which are probably way better than your ex-gf and are not damaged goods.
Everyone has and loses a first love. You are now part of that group of people, so you're not alone.
There are also millions of other women out there, many of which are probably way better than your ex-gf and are not damaged goods.
Everyone has and loses a first love. You are now part of that group of people, so you're not alone.
That sucks man. I feel for yah. Breaking up sucks and it can hurt for along time. Just try to move on as best you can eventually things will be even better than they were.
Great advice...
been seeing this thread for awhile and didnt really want to respond cause was in similar situation...
My GF said lets take a break... seemed like she need sometime to explore the world whatever... found out soon after she was with some other guy. We were with each other for awhile, joint accounts etc... worse was when she would write and say how much she felt bad and how much she loved me etc and she was sorry... blah blah but she would make excuses to make it seem like it was okay to cheat
I kept asking myself for awhile (and wanted badly to ask her) why...? I never did anything wrong... and why tell me u love me etc and am perfect etc but ur still leaving. WTF?
After thinking stuff for awhile... i summed this up:
When girls quit liking u:
- There's no point asking why... there will never be answers... and asking would just not help it almost makes it seem as if ur begging (which during that time u prollie feel like doing... resist)
- Dun even bother asking for her to come back, she changed her mind just like the pair of shoes she went to return to the store.
- Avoid talking to her for awhile (or ever). Whats there to talk about... u think this and she thinks that.
- Go out, mingle with people. Its easy to say hard to do yeah but it works...
Lotta things u prollie dun wanna hear... but hope u found something to do that makes u feel better...
-JR
Btw... working out is excellent
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