My girlfriend left me... Updated 9/6/05

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NuroMancer

Golden Member
Nov 8, 2004
1,684
1
76
Dude, all I can say is good luck :(

Give ya some support, and hope that you continue to improve your life (that is just starting)

"I get knocked down, I get up again, ain't never gonna keep me down?"

Good luck
 
T

thirdlegstump

Banned
Feb 12, 2001
8,713
0
0
Well that sucks but I can totally understand it. Sometimes after you've been with someone for that long, you think you're missing out on other possibilities. Maybe she expected a lot more and wanted to be excited more often.
 
F

Ferocious

Diamond Member
Feb 16, 2000
4,584
2
71
Her biological dad that has had NO contact with her for many, many years and all a sudden she wants to run away and live with him..
Click to expand...

I have NOT read this thread, except for first page.

But that right there is screwy. Major issue there.

Good luck.
 
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NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: Ferocious
Her biological dad that has had NO contact with her for many, many years and all a sudden she wants to run away and live with him..
Click to expand...

I have NOT read this thread, except for first page.

But that right there is screwy. Major issue there.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Well, yeah. She had to have been hiding this if you didn't see it, Eli. I mean, nobody just up and moves in with an estranged family member. There has to be relationship rebuilding, etc. Sounds like she was planning it for a while :(
 
NL5

NL5

Diamond Member
Apr 28, 2003
3,286
12
81
Originally posted by: Eli
She wasn't cheating.. she told me that at least.. she hadn't met anybody else.

She's going to live with her dad in Arizona.

Her biological dad that has had NO contact with her for many, many years and all a sudden she wants to run away and live with him..
Click to expand...

I didn't read the entire thread, but it seems to me here in lies your answer as to why........ She has some serious issues around her biological father.
 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: NL5
Originally posted by: Eli
She wasn't cheating.. she told me that at least.. she hadn't met anybody else.

She's going to live with her dad in Arizona.

Her biological dad that has had NO contact with her for many, many years and all a sudden she wants to run away and live with him..
Click to expand...

I didn't read the entire thread, but it seems to me here in lies your answer as to why........
Click to expand...

Women do stupid things. Like cheat on you, throw away a wedding ring, and move to Alaska to work at some obscure restaurant in the middle of nowhere. :confused:
 
Aquila76

Aquila76

Diamond Member
Apr 11, 2004
3,549
2
0
www.facebook.com
Sorry to hear that, bro. LTR breakups are the worst. I dated a girl while I was in college, and were together for ~5 terriffic years. We were thinking about marriage, too. Then one day she decides she wants to go back to her old boyfriend from HS. She hadn't even seen this guy for 7 years! I believe younger women are exrtemely fickle in any relationship - or decision for that matter. My advice:

1) Day 1 & 2: Mourn / weep - no booze or weed though
2) Day 3: Buddies and whatever goofy stupid things you can think up (I spent a weekend at all the driving ranges and mini-golfs near me with my crew). This helps a lot with your esteem and view of the world.
3) Day 4 & 5: Do projects around the house: Clean the garage, closet, fix suff, etc. Gives you a sense of value and accomplishment
4) Day 6 & 7: Go somewhere you've wanted go with friends (I ended up in the White Mountains with a couple of my best friends). A change of scenery does wonders to clear your mind.

This really helped me, and about 6 mos. later I met the woman that became my wife; we've been together just over 5 yrs. now.
 
Darkstar757

Darkstar757

Diamond Member
Feb 1, 2003
3,190
6
81
Hey bud I been there right with you. Just take it one day at a time, Also make sure you workout like crazy. Thats what I did and it help allot.

I hope you feel better.


Darkstar
 
EKKC

EKKC

Diamond Member
May 31, 2005
5,895
0
0
nm LTR = long term relationship figured that one out myself too. booyah.

sorry im just dumb like that
 
D

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
81
What? I almost want to call shens... from the way you always sounded, you two were perfect for each other.
 
PingSpike

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,765
615
126
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: Eli
I had no warning.. I thought everything was fine..

I mean sure we had our problems, but everybody does.. I had no idea they were so severe in her eyes as to think her only option is to leave me...
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People don't just walk away from a long-term relationship for no reason. You say you had some problems - that was your warning, but you chose to ignore it or discount it. If you can't acknowledge that, then there's probably a good reason why she's gone.

I'm sorry you're hurting. In time, you will look back on this as a blessing - you just need to hang in until that time arrives.
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I guess.. but if I would've known she was going to leave me in a ffew weeks the last time we had a spat I would've done something about it..

I just had no idea... I mean... I would have done anything... I didn't know she was considering leaving me.......
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I don't think its your fault. She probably just changed and wants something you can't give her. Why else would she deny you a reason? If she was building up angst over problems in the relationship, you damn well would have heard about them at the end.

I assume by fights you mean stupid crap like we fight about, I get mad about junk like dirty spoons and she gets mad about socks on the floor. No one breaks up over that.

One things for sure, you're doing better than I would be right now.
 
G

ggnl

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
5,095
1
0
So I wrote a long, rambling post about how I just went though the same situation not that long ago, but then something funny happened. My ex's father called me just as I was about to post it. He was just letting me know that he still wanted to see me during the holidays, there was no mention of the ex or the relationship at all.

It made me realize that life goes on. In a few week's time, this will cease to be a big deal for anyone except for you and your ex. In 6 months time you will be (mostly) back to normal, and will probably have a brand new outlook on what you want out of life/relationships.

It's going to get worse before it gets better, but in the end you will come out a better, stronger person than you were before. In the meantime, you just have to find ways to cope with the pain.

I can't tell you how many hundereds of miles I've put on my bike since April. Just putting some good music on my mp3 player and riding myself into exhaustion always made me feel better for some reason. I guess I was taking my negative emotions and channelling them into something constructive.

But I digress (I could write volumes on this subject). Nothing that anyone says in this thread will make you feel better for long. Only time will heal your wounds, so just take it easy and try to keep yourself pointed in the right direction until you're back to normal.
 
B

BD2003

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
16,815
1
81
This is so the textbook case of first relationship. Couple finds each other, fall in love, and go entirely overboard in that respect. No experience to know that you both have to keep separate lives or else either of you will never be happy. Sounds like a friend of mine. Spends all day every day with his girl, and never ever does anything else. Hell, he's not "allowed" to, because to her, if he was to hang out with anyone but her, it would mean that they have lost love for each other. Its sick really.

From the sounds of it, you lived together, had joint bank accounts, did EVERYTHING together. Thats usually only really what one of the people in a relationship want before marraige, and it looks like you were that one. Stuff like dropping L-bombs 12 times a day only makes me more sure that this is exactly the case. When that original burst of love slowly fades, it gets much harder to want to be 24/7 with someone, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. The only problem is, neither one will act on that because they dont want to scare the other one.

If youre as bad as my friend is, and dont have any other friends anymore, I'm happy for you right now. You might not realize it, but this is for the better. If you were still normally functioning, well then, that sucks.

Either way youll be fine in the end, and a couple of blunts here or there will help you through it.
 
V

VoteQuimby

Senior member
Jan 27, 2005
900
0
71
Dude it seems like she means the world to you. If she does then go after her. Find her some how and talk to her, maybe you can get through this and be together again.
 
G

gigapet

Lifer
Aug 9, 2001
10,005
0
76
Originally posted by: VoteQuimby
Dude it seems like she means the world to you. If she does then go after her. Find her some how and talk to her, maybe you can get through this and be together again.
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lol. @ this


running back and whining and begging like a pvssy bahhhhh acting like that is what got him here in the first place, I'd bet my toes on it.
 
Z

zebano

Diamond Member
Jun 15, 2005
4,042
0
0
Time. Just try and relax and enjoy life (very difficult I know). You'll get over her eventually.
 
S

shimsham

Lifer
May 9, 2002
10,765
0
0
damn eli that sucks. youre one of the good guys, so shes the one missing out.

i didnt read all the replies, but if she didnt give you a reason, then id have to say she had someone else on the side. most women like to talk and over-analyze to death, so the fact that she didnt do that makes me think shes ashamed and just wants to cut out.
 
I

isekii

Lifer
Mar 16, 2001
28,578
3
81
hey man I hope it all works out for you.
She's probably just a bit confused or something.
 
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