My girlfriend left me... Updated 9/6/05

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Eli
I was a little mean to her just before she left and now I feel really bad about it..

I took her cell phone away because it's on my plan ....

Here's a clue for you, Eli. Cut all financial ties you have with her, immediately. Don't settle for "I'll pay this at the end of the month." For all you know, she may decide in three weeks that she can stand to let it ride for a few months, and drive down your credit for a while. You're liable for those joint accounts, so either force her to pay them off or pay them off yourself, and un-joint them quickly.

 

[StormRider]

Eli,

Sorry to hear about this. I think you're a nice guy so I hope things work out and get better for you. Take care.

 

[OneOfTheseDays]

i'm sorry to hear about your loss man. Unfortunately, women in their early twenties, have this desire to go out and experience the world and meet lots of different guys. If you truly were a good guy to her, she will realize what she's leaving and come back to you.

Let me tell you what NOT to do.

1.) Cry like a little bitch to her.
2.) Demand to know why you two broke up.
3.) Beg her to come back to you.

Here is what you should do.

1.) Try and move on with your life.
2.) Do not contact your ex is any way
3.) Get laid, or at least try to.
4.) Work out like crazy.

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: Eli
I go through phases.. just like with anything else. It is not overly difficult for me to quit..

If this were true, how come you still smoke? How do you know how easy it is to quit? Seriously now, I have a lot of friends who smoke, say they've quit, and then a while later go back. That is NOT quitting. That is taking a break.

Forget about the woman, focus on improving yourself so you don't need intoxicants to survive a regular day. Remember, although most of your thoughts are probably on Her, you are the important one.

Because I've done it quite a few times in the last few years.

Ok, fine.. taking a break...

I am sure I had something to do with it, but I think batmanuel pretty much nailed it. That's the way I'm starting to see it at least...

 

[Patt]

Get that gf bullsh!t out of your sig!

 

[Eeezee]

Most women are lying life-stealing whores. Hope you feel better and good luck in the future

There ARE better ones out there

 

[DaShen]

Go out with your buddies. Only way to cope with the pain. You will feel better in time. ATOT will be here if you need to rant.

 

[eakers]

I'm really sorry to hear this eli
stay strong.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: KK
sorry dude

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Mill
She's under 25 and hasn't lived. She doesn't know what she wants or need, but obviously you do. I'm sorry it happened, but your a great guy, so I'm sure you can find someone else. I know that's not on your mind right now, but just realize your future is bright. Hope everything gets better, Eli. Good luck.

beautiful comment :thumbsup:

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Eli
She had a serious communications issue. She just wouldn't talk about her feelings...

that's interesting, often it seems like it's the other way round, with the guy never talking about feelings.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

I think you're getting bad advice from most of the people here. I think you need to mourn and rage until you crash. Avoiding the feelings by hiding behind beer or the company of friends is a sure way to disfuncitonalize yourself permanently. But first...drop the herb!

You need to let your emotions run their course. Cry in your pillow and when you're sick of crying in your pillow, force yourself to cry in your pillow until you get sick of crying in your pillow.

Ask yourself the awful unfair questions like "why" and try to answer it honestly. Don't ask her because she probably doesn't know either and if she did might lie and, in any case, it's irrelevent. You may find ways you can improve for your next relationship, but, in all likelihood, you'll realize she just went nuts and you'll have to chalk it up to bad luck like getting in a car wreck or being struck by lightning. That will be the most healthy way to perceive it going forward.

I say this because this happened to my best friend only worse and he never recovered. He avoided dealing with it and as a result he changed permanently for the worse.

You WILL deal with this fully, the only question is if it will be for a short raging while or gradually over the course of the rest of your life.

 

[Quixfire]

Eli, I?m sorry for you and your loss of a good woman.

But you know she could never complete with your love of the Datsun Z-cars.

:hug; & :beer:, I don't condone the smoking habit.

 

[Sparke]

What do you do if your ex contacts you on AIM and wants to be friends?

 

[Howard]

My condolences, friend. Nearly impossible for you not to try to worry about it, but you deserve somebody better.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/139_dating_advice.html

 

[Toasthead]

bummer man

Remember, even in the best possible scenario, all your romantic relationships will end, except one.

 

[pancho619]

Hang in there Eli, it gets easier to deal with as time passes...and then when you find someone special again you'll realize everything happens for a reason. Stay strong Eli.

 

[Atomicus]

Don't let it get you down bro.

The issue of finding closure may help to ease the pain, but for the moment just get the grief out and don't think crazy thoughts. Just remember you still have a life ahead of this. If it wasn't meant to be, then let it be. More power to you :thumbsup:

 

[necine]

Originally posted by: Xionide
After a rough relationship I was talking to a very wise man about what I should do about the way I feel. He looked at me and said "so the bitch was cheating huh? Well their is one thing that will make it better" He then made an "o" with his left hand using his index finger and thumb and stuck his other index finger in and out of the hole. I will never forget his lesson.

Whatever you do, do not take this advice... after every major breakup I've slept with another girl, ended up getting back with the ex, and having that hang over my head. Bad bad thing...

 

[rezinn]

Lesson learned, right? Unstable girls are only trouble. She led you on, but girls tend to do that sometimes. In a relationship you need to sometimes ask, "are you happy?", and if the response is not a resounding yes then you've got something to work on. Not communicating her feelings is a terrible sign too, if she can't do that she is basically screwing over every guy she lets get too close forever.

 

[Doggiedog]

My sympathies Eli.

I've been through the same in my youth. My fiancee left me when I was 24 YO. No explanation. Her reason was "it is what it is and just accept it". I was a wreck for months feeling sorry for myself. In hindsight (as a 35 YO), I would totally do things differently. I would take the opportunity to do things I normally wouldn't do. Go out as much as I can. Like others have said, there are many fish in the sea and it is completely true.

Strangely, 8 years after my fiancee left me, she contacted me to tell me she was wrong and to apologize. She was married as was I and I could tell she had regretted what she had done to me.

 

[archcommus]

Sorry to hear, Eli! Just remember, if she would do that to you, she wasn't the right woman for you anyway.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

YHPM

 

[neovan]

hang in there...time heals all wounds

 

[Fritzo]

As I tell everyone else (and it seems to work), when you get depressed about it think of all the stuff she did that pissed you off or absolutely could not stand. Now think how you won't have to deal with that anymore.

Next think of the freedom you'll have. If you want to buy something, go somewhere, or do something, you won't have to get an opinion of anyone else.

As for being alone or feeling lonely, you're never alone as long as you have yourself. Get to know yourself better- you may like what you find.