I might have an idea why she left you all of the sudden by looking at the number of posts you have.
Lasthitlarry
Senior member
- Feb 24, 2005
- 775
- 0
- 0
From the few women I know, she will come back RIGHT when you have forgotten about her. So the sooner you forget about her the better.
Can this not be turned into a lesson for future relationships for both you and all of us? The mere fact that you thought you were ready for marriage and then it just ended out of nowhere. What do we learn? That you have to look at the details, every facet of the relationship that could possibly show a sign of decline. Or perhaps that communcation MUST be frequent and thorough. Discussion about how things are, what either of you may want or dislike, etc. I guess they're all good practices to follow.
orenero
Senior member
- Apr 12, 2005
- 302
- 0
- 76
I believe your problem may have been communication. It seems that you have no idea why she left this is bad, that means you were not communicating your problems or not mature enough to do so. If you have another shot with her try and listen and talk about it more, communication is key to all relationships, maybe even if it realizes you both that it was not just meant to be.
No I am not talking about chit chat, brutally honest talk with each other where anything goes no matter what get it all out.
Communications were indeed a big issue in our relationship.. I have realized that ever since before we met and I always made it a priority to tell her what I was thinking.
She did not reciprocate.. she was trying though.. I thought we would eventually work through it... I thought we were better than this...
Originally posted by: Eli
I wish I had some alcohol..Originally posted by: dug777
crapola mate, have a few beers with some mates, usually makes me feel better when i'm down
on second thought, maybe it's not such a good idea. I'll stick to my marijuana.
QFT
orenero
Senior member
- Apr 12, 2005
- 302
- 0
- 76
Yeah sorry to hear that man, I really am. If she was not reciprocating that means it was she was most likely done with the relationship at that point. I don't know what else to tell ya, just hope she comes around at at least gives you another chance or some closure / better reason why she left or even why she was not communicating back with you. Best of luck. Time heals wounds, easier said then done, when its time you will move on.
AgaBoogaBoo
Lifer
- Feb 16, 2003
- 26,108
- 5
- 81
Lasthitlarry
Senior member
- Feb 24, 2005
- 775
- 0
- 0
...So there was a problem.
I think she just needs to figure her stuff out.
She might have felt that what she had to say about the relationship would hurt your feelings, so she held it inside for a long time until one day she just bolts.
Communication is critical, as others have stated.
Just let time work it's wonders, and start living life on your own again, everything will work itself out.
I think she just needs to figure her stuff out.
She might have felt that what she had to say about the relationship would hurt your feelings, so she held it inside for a long time until one day she just bolts.
Communication is critical, as others have stated.
Just let time work it's wonders, and start living life on your own again, everything will work itself out.
youve gotta remember never to assume things in relationships, if communication was shaky in the relationship, im surprised it even lasted 4 years.
best thing to do is get outside with a couple good friends and just party till ya fall asleep.
best thing to do is get outside with a couple good friends and just party till ya fall asleep.
It's just the way she was.. she's been like that ever since she was little, internalizes everything.. sigh...
i'd rather just sleep... I don't know how I'm going to get through this...
I feel so empty and alone... life is meaningless...
i'd rather just sleep... I don't know how I'm going to get through this...
I feel so empty and alone... life is meaningless...
it's awful that she didn't even say why. i find that very insensitive of a person.
i've been through similiar issues. it hurts. a lot. but time will heal -- slowly. you just gotta keep your head up and make sure you don't get depressed over it to the point that you may endanger yourself. i've been down that road. it's a horrible place to be.
we're here for you, eli.
i've been through similiar issues. it hurts. a lot. but time will heal -- slowly. you just gotta keep your head up and make sure you don't get depressed over it to the point that you may endanger yourself. i've been down that road. it's a horrible place to be.
we're here for you, eli.
Does this mean I'm coming over? I have to get out my equipment...the chains have rusted and the leather mask has dry-rotted.
Better now than later, at least you're not married and have a bunch of kids and then your partner decides to move on.
u need two things, time and alcohol~ things will get much better soon...... make sure u eat a little...
Sorry man. Was she the pic of the girl that was in your sig? I think I remember you saying something about you guys being each other's first.
How old are you? It often happens like this. I've seen it happen to many of my friends. They think everything is ok, and BAM, out of nowhere, she's gone. There's not much advice to give you; any advice given to you for the time being will be thrown away in a matter of seconds by yourself; this is ok though, it's normal. Just hang in there.
Miramonti
Lifer
- Aug 26, 2000
- 28,653
- 100
- 106
Very sorry to hear about it Eli.
Sounds like your girlfriend imploded, which is about what happens to people that can't communicate their feelings.
Not a whole lot you can do imo...someone like her needs a lot of counseling...conflict resolution, internal or external, isn't exactly their strength and catches up to people like that eventually....and then something like this happens to you out of the blue.
Not a criticism but sounds like you can learn a lot as well...having been with someone for so long that couldn't communicate interpersonally with you while not desiring to improve that.
Good luck...take it slow...and get the hail off smoking teh pot everyday (errr...more like most days I mean) if you want to learn and grow yourself...which is what you might need to regain strength and be optimistic about the future again.
It will definitely take time, painfully slow at times as you know, but if you take advantage of the opportunity to build off of this you're certain to come out of it twice the person you were beforehand, and much happier too.
Sounds like your girlfriend imploded, which is about what happens to people that can't communicate their feelings.
Not a whole lot you can do imo...someone like her needs a lot of counseling...conflict resolution, internal or external, isn't exactly their strength and catches up to people like that eventually....and then something like this happens to you out of the blue.
Not a criticism but sounds like you can learn a lot as well...having been with someone for so long that couldn't communicate interpersonally with you while not desiring to improve that.
Good luck...take it slow...and get the hail off smoking teh pot everyday (errr...more like most days I mean) if you want to learn and grow yourself...which is what you might need to regain strength and be optimistic about the future again.
It will definitely take time, painfully slow at times as you know, but if you take advantage of the opportunity to build off of this you're certain to come out of it twice the person you were beforehand, and much happier too.
yeah, the problem with dating a girl for so long (and starting at such an early age) is exactly what happened to you. I'm very sorry for what happened, but if it comforts you, it's happened to a LOT of guys who went down this road.
Hi, I went through this a few years ago.
From my experience it will simply be painful at first like any injury. You can distract yourself but there is likely to be that terrible knawing feeling.
And like any injury it will take time to heal but it absolutely will, although its hard to imagine it now.
You WILL likely be stronger for it.
I'm sorry
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