My GF of 3 years is going to med school for 3 years...

[Turnpike]

You have to fold or go all in like people said. Long distance will NOT work. She will be far too busy for trips home or to entertain you if you visit. She will be an emotional wreck with the stress of school and being away and will easily find comfort in one of the hundreds of other doctor to be guys who are probably taller, stronger, smarter, richer, and better looking than you.... but most importantly: available. I've seen it happen over and over and over in my grad school.

 

[mezrah]

Originally posted by: Turnpike
You have to fold or go all in like people said. Long distance will NOT work. She will be far too busy for trips home or to entertain you if you visit. She will be an emotional wreck with the stress of school and being away and will easily find comfort in one of the hundreds of other doctor to be guys who are probably taller, stronger, smarter, richer, and better looking than you.... but most importantly: available. I've seen it happen over and over and over in my grad school.

long distance on a whole may not work. The majority of people cannot make it. That's fine. You need to decide what is right for the both of you. And it is not necessarily all in or nothing. You need to sit down and talk it through with her. I had a full ride to the college I attended, and just because my gf went to school a thousand miles away didn't mean that if I was serious about her I needed to throw away my scholarship and move to Tampa. We stuck it through, saw each other in the summers and winters and a few times in between, and are now stronger people for it. I'm not saying love conquers all, I'm saying rationality does, and going "all in or nothing" isn't rational. You need to have a nice long chat with her. If it's meant to be, it will be.

 

[trmiv]

Either go with her like everyone has said, or prepare for the inevitable. The inevitable being you two trying to make it work, you'll call frequently, but then she'll be harder and harder to get a hold of. Eventually you'll call and she'll be very distant, trying to say she has to go to study. You'll hear a guy's voice in the background, and ask who it is, and she say "oh, that's just a 'study partner.'" Of course "study partner" really means the new guy she's schtucking.

So yea, either go with her or end it.

 

[mjh]

Like many other people have already said, see if you can make the move with her. If you can't, I wouldn't say the relationship is necessarily over, but it will be very difficult.

Originally posted by: vi_editYou really, really don't want to know the statistics on marriages/relationships getting through that one.

Yeah, medical school seems to ruin relationships rather quickly.

 

[Vonkhan]

I've been in 2 long distance relationships - and yes, the odds are heavily stacked against u.

Either move with her or end it - u'll be saving yourself (or her) a lot of heartbreak.

 

[0roo0roo]

lol doomed

 

[BooGiMaN]

i dont see how this can work out...

you have the odds stackd against you

 

[shopbruin]

well it'll be difficult for sure. i nearly had to face this with the bf considering out of state law schools (i got lucky - he got a huge scholarship from the local one) and i was considering moving. even if we did LD for a while, i was fairly sure i wouldn't be able to stand it and would have picked up and moved. i was researching the areas he was accepted, housing, asking people who lived in the area their opinions, etc.

 

[Slew Foot]

When I was in med school, everyone who was in a LDR broke up within the first year. Hours in medschool/residency are long (80-100 hour weeks) and you dont get nights/weekends/holidays off. So unless you live next to someone, dont expect to see them.



BTW, med school is 4 years long.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: bobbybe01
Why did she not consider you in her decision making?

Well, it would be stupid to pass on this opportunity. She seems convinced we can make it work. I'm not so convinced and don't know how to be alone for 3 years.

I can't move with her unless I marry her, and I just can't afford to get married. I've got too much debt that I'm trying to pay off at the moment. It's just not the right time.

Somebody is rationalizing...

A) Why do you have to marry her to move with her? Just go. With a simple change of address form the debt will follow you... I promise.
B) Marrying someone is cheap. You might not be able to afford the wedding you want, but marriage is cheap. So why not just marry her if it's that important to you? It's been three years for criminy sakes... Sh|t or get off the pot.
C) Why is it not the right time? Or are you piling up excuses to not get married because you just don't want to marry her? It's been three years. You should have been able to figure this one out by now.