My GF of 3 years is going to med school for 3 years...

[BigToque]

The title basically says everything. I've been with my GF for 3 years now, and in about 7 months, she'll be leaving for medical school on the other side of the country for 3 years.

This is seriously screwing with my head and heart... I feel there could be a great future with this girl and she feels the same way, but how the hell do you make a long distance relationship work for 3 years?

She's gonna be gone for the same amount of time I've already known her! I'll get to see her a couple of times a year I'm sure, but still...

I'm 23 and she's 22.

Anyone who has been in a LDR before, please give me some insight...

 

[CraKaJaX]

Better make those 7 months worth it

 

[secretanchitman]

just make sure you talk...a LOT.

and send her things.

and you must try your hardest not to cheat on her, because the chance of people doing it while in a LDR is much higher. i doubt you will though, as you seem like a very honest person.

good luck!

 

[bobbybe01]

Why did she not consider you in her decision making?

 

[Aimster]

med school for 3 years?

I am in medical school for 4 years

She got lucky!

 

[preslove]

Can you move with her?

 

[RGN]

well. the answer is simple, marry her and go with.

That's what I'd do. Job or no job, career or no career. Relationships are #1.

 

[d33pt]

why not move with her? i did with my gf of 1 year at the time and we're still together 6 years later.. granted it wasn't across the country, but same idea. YMMV

 

[Mo0o]

Any reason you can't go with her?

 

[SilentZero]

Odd's are one of you will either cheat or break up with the other. No offense but the odds are stacked against you.

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: bobbybe01
Why did she not consider you in her decision making?

Well, it would be stupid to pass on this opportunity. She seems convinced we can make it work. I'm not so convinced and don't know how to be alone for 3 years.

I can't move with her unless I marry her, and I just can't afford to get married. I've got too much debt that I'm trying to pay off at the moment. It's just not the right time.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: RGN
well. the answer is simple, marry her and go with.

That's what I'd do. Job or no job, career or no career. Relationships are #1.

Yep. If you think you KNOW she's the one, then you need to go.

The fact that she is leaving tells me that she doesn't think the same, though.

I never have understood people breaking up a great, possibly permanent relationship because of a career. They act like it's the worst thing they've ever had to do, but "they just have to do it to be fulfilled".
That is complete crap. A job can never do for you what a great relationship can.

Edit: Oh, but I just noticed your ages, and neither of you have a clue yet. Your light bulbs that illuminate life haven't come on yet.
You're simply too young. Sorry, but that is the absolute truth.
Move on, you'll be better off. It'll be tough, but it'll save you from greater heartbreak down the road...not to mention lots of wasted time.

 

[rsd]

Originally posted by: Pacfanweb

Originally posted by: RGN
well. the answer is simple, marry her and go with.

That's what I'd do. Job or no job, career or no career. Relationships are #1.

Yep. If you think you KNOW she's the one, then you need to go.

The fact that she is leaving tells me that she doesn't think the same, though.

I never have understood people breaking up a great, possibly permanent relationship because of a career. They act like it's the worst thing they've ever had to do, but "they just have to do it to be fulfilled".
That is complete crap. A job can never do for you what a great relationship can.

Uh sorry but have to completely disagree with you. It might be different if it was a particular job offer for example, but medical school is something entirely different. It is not easy to get into and you have to take advantage of the opportunity. Maybe OP should consider moving to be with her, but I don't blame her for going across the country in this case.
EDIT: Err assuming you are referring to her career and not the OP's, otherwise if it is the otherway around then I agree

 

[MadPeriot]

I don't believe in long distance relationship. A couple should be growing and experiencing together. Though I'm sure there are that worked out, but few. 3 years is extra long time my friend. Life is a strange thing, let fate bring you two together.

Read my thread, almost pretty much same thing happend to me.
letting her go...

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: rsd

Originally posted by: Pacfanweb

Originally posted by: RGN
well. the answer is simple, marry her and go with.

That's what I'd do. Job or no job, career or no career. Relationships are #1.

Yep. If you think you KNOW she's the one, then you need to go.

The fact that she is leaving tells me that she doesn't think the same, though.

I never have understood people breaking up a great, possibly permanent relationship because of a career. They act like it's the worst thing they've ever had to do, but "they just have to do it to be fulfilled".
That is complete crap. A job can never do for you what a great relationship can.

Uh sorry but have to completely disagree with you. It might be different if it was a particular job offer for example, but medical school is something entirely different. It is not easy to get into and you have to take advantage of the opportunity. Maybe OP should consider moving to be with her, but I don't blame her for going across the country in this case.

Notice my edit. They are in their early 20's. Real life hasn't started yet. Neither has a clue yet.
And I said job, not school.

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: BigToque
The title basically says everything. I've been with my GF for 3 years now, and in about 7 months, she'll be leaving for medical school on the other side of the country for 3 years.

This is seriously screwing with my head and heart... I feel there could be a great future with this girl and she feels the same way, but how the hell do you make a long distance relationship work for 3 years?

She's gonna be gone for the same amount of time I've already known her! I'll get to see her a couple of times a year I'm sure, but still...

I'm 23 and she's 22.

Anyone who has been in a LDR before, please give me some insight...

You're screwed.

/thread

 

[Handsom3D3vil]

I'm in the same boat as the OP. My girlfriend and I have been going out for more then a year now and she just moved to Phoenix to finish up her schooling with her parents. It really does suck, but we are hoping for the best. We have already been at this for 7 months with me living in Chicago and her in St. Louis. Phone calls and the internet are the way to go. If not marry her like I plan to do with my g/f. Best of luck to both of you.

 

[MadPeriot]

Originally posted by: MadPeriot
I don't believe in long distance relationship. A couple should be growing and experiencing together. Though I'm sure there are that worked out, but few. 3 years is extra long time my friend. One can change a lot in 3 years. Shes persuing her path and you should persue yours. Life is a strange thing, let fate bring you two together.

Read my thread, almost pretty much same thing happend to me.
letting her go...

 

[Babbles]

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: bobbybe01
Why did she not consider you in her decision making?

Well, it would be stupid to pass on this opportunity. She seems convinced we can make it work. I'm not so convinced and don't know how to be alone for 3 years.

I can't move with her unless I marry her, and I just can't afford to get married. I've got too much debt that I'm trying to pay off at the moment. It's just not the right time.

When you say that, then I find it hard to believe that you take the relationship seriously. Okay, she pretty much has to go where she needs to go for medical school. That's a big deal and there is little she can do change it.

It may sound overly-idealistic, but if you really care about her as much as you think you do then you will do whatever it takes to move to be with her. After she starts her studies I don't think she would have time to really make the effort necessary for a long term relationship and if you want things to work out I think you are going to have to take the risk and follow her.

 

[preslove]

Either get your sh!t together and go with, or end it after the seven months.

 

[RGN]

Originally posted by: Pacfanweb

Originally posted by: RGN
well. the answer is simple, marry her and go with.

That's what I'd do. Job or no job, career or no career. Relationships are #1.

Yep. If you think you KNOW she's the one, then you need to go.

The fact that she is leaving tells me that she doesn't think the same, though.

I never have understood people breaking up a great, possibly permanent relationship because of a career. They act like it's the worst thing they've ever had to do, but "they just have to do it to be fulfilled".
That is complete crap. A job can never do for you what a great relationship can.

Edit: Oh, but I just noticed your ages, and neither of you have a clue yet. Your light bulbs that illuminate life haven't come on yet.
You're simply too young. Sorry, but that is the absolute truth.
Move on, you'll be better off. It'll be tough, but it'll save you from greater heartbreak down the road...not to mention lots of wasted time.

I disagree. The only regret I have in life so far is a relationship I didn't pursue and should have. I was young, but it DID mean something. At those ages they know enough about themselves and each other to make the decision. Its also the perfect age to pick up and move to another city without it affecting work and career in nany significant way. 3 years is enough time to get to truly know someone while growing with them.

It would be cold to dismiss this in a flippant way and say, "move on."

The OP knows the relationship status. If it means something to him, he should take it to the next level and go along.

 

[The Batt?sai]

dude i think that if u both put in the effort to maek it work that it will work. but you both have to put the effort in. it can't be one sided. i know. long distance sucks. but it can work if u both try.

 

[IlllI]

but how the hell do you make a long distance relationship work for 3 years?

you dont. next to impossible

 

[vegetation]

Originally posted by: BigToque

Originally posted by: bobbybe01
Why did she not consider you in her decision making?

Well, it would be stupid to pass on this opportunity. She seems convinced we can make it work. I'm not so convinced and don't know how to be alone for 3 years.

I can't move with her unless I marry her, and I just can't afford to get married. I've got too much debt that I'm trying to pay off at the moment. It's just not the right time.

Debt should not be the issue at hand. Get a second or even third job if you have to; she'll be busy studying most of the day anyway. Point is, the relationship will be secured. You just have to do what you need to do to make it work. Otherwise, it will fail if you just cop out. That's my advice.

 

[l Xes l]

if she's going to be a doctor.. hold on tight brother..