My GF mother thinks I am below her daughter...

[badmouse]

I'm a mom, I have a daughter, and I agree, her boyfriend is way below her. Then again, who could possibly be good enough for my little darling?????

Look, dude, parents always think the worst about their daughter's boyfriends. Don't let it bother you.

 

[Passions]

Hahahaha, I have a friend in the same exact situation. Engineer, but not good enough for parents. They want a doctor or lawyer. What nutcase parents!!!!! I agree with the other posters, pump the mom and dump.

 

[StageLeft]

You are doing well. Your GF's mother is below YOU imo. Most relationships will have some disparity. It's infrequently the daughter in a higher wage/status position, but it's not like she'd be a doctor and you at walmart as a greeter. By all accounts you're doing very well, so I'd chalk this up to her being a bizatch. More than that the important thing to me would be, are you looking ultimately at her as a money source and a way to feed yourself (some of mrsskoorb's co-workers have husbands who basically do sh*t all all day, and the wives are sugar-mommas). I think the answer is no, so that woman should butt out!

 

[SuperTool]

Originally posted by: Doboji

What do you do for 72K a year?

I'm a network engineer... working on Cisco's and Junipers.

everyone: what was the girlfriend's response

She told me how when we first started dating she was dating this other guy who's a lawyer, but she chose me as the boyfriend. He got kicked to the curb. So I take that to mean, she's into me, regardless of what mom thinks.

We are at a bit of a crossroads, as she is trying to figure out where she's going to be doing her 3 year residency starting about a year from now. She is terrified of the potential break there.... and was talking about breaking things off rather than letting them get too serious. She was afraid of allowing her feelings for me leading her to sell herself short when selecting where to do the residency.

This was the context of the conversation... she's afraid of taking the risk, and allowing herself to get attached to me. So not sure how what her mom said fits... but thats the conversation in which it came up.

-Max

p.s. she and her parents are Jewish... which sadly is very close to what you describe as asian... the whole marry a nice jewish doctor thing.

Is she a J.A.P?

 

[SuperTool]

Originally posted by: Taggart

Originally posted by: Cybit
Dude, 72k is more then 75% of people will prolly ever make. Shoot, some lawyers won't make that kind of money.

The average lawyer in the US makes $40,000 a year. The average starting Assistant DA makes $27,000(!).

But her mom doesn't want an average lawyer, she wants a Jewish lawyer 😀

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: SuperTool

Originally posted by: Taggart

Originally posted by: Cybit
Dude, 72k is more then 75% of people will prolly ever make. Shoot, some lawyers won't make that kind of money.

The average lawyer in the US makes $40,000 a year. The average starting Assistant DA makes $27,000(!).

But her mom doesn't want an average lawyer, she wants a Jewish lawyer 😀

Yeah you understand my situation.... she isn't a JAP... she's a sweet girl, her mother however, is so stereotypical...

-Max

 

[Ameesh]

the real question is how did your gf deal with it? does she feel the same way?

 

[SuperTool]

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: SuperTool

Originally posted by: Taggart

Originally posted by: Cybit
Dude, 72k is more then 75% of people will prolly ever make. Shoot, some lawyers won't make that kind of money.

The average lawyer in the US makes $40,000 a year. The average starting Assistant DA makes $27,000(!).

But her mom doesn't want an average lawyer, she wants a Jewish lawyer 😀

Yeah you understand my situation.... she isn't a JAP... she's a sweet girl, her mother however, is so stereotypical...

-Max

There are a lot of Jewish mothers who would be happy to have their daughters date someone with your profession and pay. I would be more concerned about her residency than her mother. If she doesn't want her consideration for you to influence her residency choice, that shows where you are on her priorities list. Maybe she told something to her mother, and her mother is just trying to make it easier for her to break up with you.

 

[Isshinryu]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
your making $72k with minimal debt, she will graduate med school with $300k debt and will have to take on an additional 500k debt in order to start a practice or get a job. if she gets a job, she will not be doing better than you financially (not if you take the loan into consideration) for quite a while. if she starts a practice, i can tell you, it will take a good 2 or 3 years before she starts showing any real profits.

but most people that think doctors have so much more wealth than the someone making $72k / year, doesn't really know that much about what it takes to make money as a doctor.

The average med school debt for public medical schools is 60K, and for private schools is 120K. Where do you get 300K in debt? Sure, the average salary for your first three years of internship and residency is between 30-40K, but after that the national average for physicians ranges from 150K-300K pending on your specialty. Most physicians who go into private practice do so as a group, lessening the start up cost. It does take time to show a real profit, and in that statement you are right.

EDIT: But if you take into account HMOs and the crappy scams that the insurance companies pull, doctors don't make nearly as much as you would expect. So, in the end your point is right, the path to getting there is a bit skewed.