Is your girlfriend asian by chance? It seems like a lot of asian parents have unrealistically high expectations of their possible son/daughters in law, especially if their own child is doing something "worthwhile" in their eyes - their child's occupation is the bare minimum acceptable. Honestly, there's nothing you can do or say to change the situation. The one key piece of info that you left out was what the girlfriend thinks about the whole thing. Honestly, if she is in the least bit swayed, dump her and move on.
HardcoreRobot
Lifer
- Nov 7, 2000
- 16,403
- 3
- 81
i think pingspike is exactly right. that lady has some issues. if she believes that to begin with, there is little chance that you can change her mind. he brain has gotta be fubared to think 72k/yr is not good enough. the bigger problem will be if your gf believes your mom.
HardcoreRobot
Lifer
- Nov 7, 2000
- 16,403
- 3
- 81
Another vote for retarded asian parent here. I have seen this sort of irrational stuff from them on multiple occasions. How do they so thoroughly avoid reality?
Ok, lets pretend for a sec that 72k a year sucks.
Now, assume that your GF is doing better than you. (debt, credit, etc)
Finally, lets assume that her mom isn't on crack.
Who cares what the hell she says? Who cares if your GF is doing better than you? This isn't a race, you don't win anything for being in first. If someone told me my GF was doing better than me, I'd be damn proud of her. Better her than someone else, right? And someone else is always doing better than you are.
Now, assume that your GF is doing better than you. (debt, credit, etc)
Finally, lets assume that her mom isn't on crack.
Who cares what the hell she says? Who cares if your GF is doing better than you? This isn't a race, you don't win anything for being in first. If someone told me my GF was doing better than me, I'd be damn proud of her. Better her than someone else, right? And someone else is always doing better than you are.
Confront her outright. Ask point blank exactly how you're "below" her daughter and don't let her squirm out of things. Do this on your own, or when the daughter is out of earshot for a little while (though close enough to hear if things get ugly) and see where it goes. Don't be afraid to show how much better off your own life is now than some of her other ideas, and how that'll help your GF with her massive debt.
What does the mother do that makes her think she's such hot sh!t?
What does the mother do that makes her think she's such hot sh!t?
JDub02
Diamond Member
- Sep 27, 2002
- 6,209
- 1
- 0
my cousin was/is in the same situation ... he ended up marrying the girl. he's an accountant and makes nice bank ..
BTW, I must be working for the wrong defense contractor. I make $20k less than you.
But maybe it's the area .. my cost of living is low.
BTW, I must be working for the wrong defense contractor. I make $20k less than you.
But maybe it's the area .. my cost of living is low.
rh71
No Lifer
- Aug 28, 2001
- 52,844
- 1,049
- 126
:thumbsup:
I hate the I'm-better-than-you mentality that goes along with jobs / pay. Whoever is doing well - GOOD FOR THEM and leave it at that. If I make 6 figures, I wouldn't be flaunting it... I'd be embarrassed to say it even when asked. If indeed they are asian parents, I hope our generation quits doing that.
What the mother thinks is IRRELEVANT!!!
How the girlfriend REACTS is what should determine the course of action you take. If your girlfriend takes her mother?s side or can not break free from the umbilical cord, its time to count your losses and move on since the problem will only get worse as time passes.
How the girlfriend REACTS is what should determine the course of action you take. If your girlfriend takes her mother?s side or can not break free from the umbilical cord, its time to count your losses and move on since the problem will only get worse as time passes.
nice to hear about other MIS grads doing well. I am doing the same thing at my school sans the Decision science part.
Back to OT, I vote for the asian parent thing too, cause my dad is like that. My siblings and I just ignore what my dad thinks because we are rational people that grew up in a rational society.
so the question is, Is your girlfriend a rational person?
Back to OT, I vote for the asian parent thing too, cause my dad is like that. My siblings and I just ignore what my dad thinks because we are rational people that grew up in a rational society.
so the question is, Is your girlfriend a rational person?
Did your GF stick up for you? Because if she didn't you may have another issue on your hands...
-geoff
-geoff
I'm a network engineer... working on Cisco's and Junipers.
She told me how when we first started dating she was dating this other guy who's a lawyer, but she chose me as the boyfriend. He got kicked to the curb. So I take that to mean, she's into me, regardless of what mom thinks.
We are at a bit of a crossroads, as she is trying to figure out where she's going to be doing her 3 year residency starting about a year from now. She is terrified of the potential break there.... and was talking about breaking things off rather than letting them get too serious. She was afraid of allowing her feelings for me leading her to sell herself short when selecting where to do the residency.
This was the context of the conversation... she's afraid of taking the risk, and allowing herself to get attached to me. So not sure how what her mom said fits... but thats the conversation in which it came up.
-Max
p.s. she and her parents are Jewish... which sadly is very close to what you describe as asian... the whole marry a nice jewish doctor thing.
rocadelpunk
Diamond Member
- Jul 23, 2001
- 5,589
- 1
- 81
haha my mom is jewish, she just tells me to find a girl and that she wants grandchildren, NOW.
i'm 19 ; p
i'm 19 ; p
Just tells here that you seem below her at times, but most of the time, you're on top, or behind...
The average lawyer in the US makes $40,000 a year. The average starting Assistant DA makes $27,000(!).
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