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My father is coming to visit...

S

slycat

Diamond Member
So, i haven't seen him for 12 yrs...now he wants to come visit.
and i am footing the bill. i guess i'm a little miffed that he never really cared
much for me or stood on my side in important matters. he was pretty much disinterested.
btw, he basically told me and my sis that we don't exist to his new family(he remarried)...
the inlaws dunno he had married before or something like that. i couldn't give a crap..
i just think well, since he gave me life initially, i owe it to him and should honor him.

its the right thing. i just think it'll be pretty weird/awkward facing him for a week or so...
i'll prolly bring him to vegas..some sightseeing. gawd it'll be strange...
 
Good luck with that. Try to be cordial, but you shouldn't really have to take his sh!t if you 'don't exist' to his new family. That's complete and UTTER CRAP. :|
 
sorry, just because he fvcked your mom and then dumped you and your family doesn't give him the right to anything.
 
WTF? He told you, his son, that you don't exist and you're paying for HIM to come see you? Fvck is that? If he wants to come visit you after 12 years, he should at LEAST foot the bill.
 
If you *want* to see him, see him. Otherwise, especially considering everything you've said about him... why are you doing this? If he bailed out on you and your sister, and his current family doesn't even know about you guys... why are you entertaining him at all?
 
well..i wasn't there but when grandma died, he told my sis she couldn't go to the funeral coz 'his'
other part of the family was going and if they asked him, he couldn't acknowledge her.

pissed me off for a bit...sis cried and called me up to tell me.

the thing is i don't wanna regret not seeing him...i dunno, aren't we supposed to make peace
and not war? 🙂
we had a turbulent relationship before so i just wanna make my peace. and since he lives in a different
country this might be the last(few) time we can meet. he's never had much of a 'good', luxurious life
so i just wanna show him a good time. :\
 
Originally posted by: slycat
well..i wasn't there but when grandma died, he told my sis she couldn't go to the funeral coz 'his'
other part of the family was going and if they asked him, he couldn't acknowledge her.

pissed me off for a bit...sis cried and called me up to tell me.

the thing is i don't wanna regret not seeing him...i dunno, aren't we supposed to make peace
and not war? 🙂
we had a turbulent relationship before so i just wanna make my peace. and since he lives in a different
country this might be the last(few) time we can meet. he's never had much of a 'good', luxurious life
so i just wanna show him a good time. :\
Click to expand...

You are a good person. Do the right thing, do what you feel is right. 🙂
 
I say pay the bill and let him come. Even if it's a disaster, you tried and that's all you should ever be asked to do. 🙂
 
You're just as stupid as he is in my eyes.

There's a difference between making peace and letting him put a footprint on your back.
 
Screw making peace.. I'd punch him in the face...

Slycat, you seem nice for thinking about making peace with your dad. But you don't owe him anything. If I were you, I'd be suing him for child support (if he didn't pay). He owes you 12 years of fatherhood. He had a choice and you didn't. Kick the old man to the curve and move on.



 
Originally posted by: slycat
Originally posted by: ChrisIsBored
You're just as stupid as he is in my eyes.

There's a difference between making peace and letting him put a footprint on your back.
Click to expand...


🙁
Click to expand...

Sorry, don't take that comment personally.

IMO he's using you now for his own selfish reasons. It's not your obligation to make him feel better. Something clicked in his mind that makes him regret the past, but nothing can make up for that now.

If you really want to see him though then you're just doing your part, otherwise what benefit do you receive from the situation? I mean, would you be happier without having to deal with this mess?

Good luck with it though.

Be prepared for a few of these. :beer:😉
 
Originally posted by: slycat
well..i wasn't there but when grandma died, he told my sis she couldn't go to the funeral coz 'his'
other part of the family was going and if they asked him, he couldn't acknowledge her.

pissed me off for a bit...sis cried and called me up to tell me.

the thing is i don't wanna regret not seeing him...i dunno, aren't we supposed to make peace
and not war? 🙂
we had a turbulent relationship before so i just wanna make my peace. and since he lives in a different
country this might be the last(few) time we can meet. he's never had much of a 'good', luxurious life
so i just wanna show him a good time. :\
Click to expand...

I would be pissed if i were you... but i guess you're a better person than i am. 🙂
 
i guess a deep part of me believes in retribution, judgment..10 commandments...fire/brimstone..
all that good stuff.

besides, this hurts me how?...other than some dough. i'm not rich but
it can be re-earned what i lose.
 
I would be pissed if i were you... but i guess you're a better person than i am. 🙂
Click to expand...

believe me i was and i'm a fvcking hothead...more so when he took my sister's piano and gave it to his new wife.
it was done while i was away coz if i'd been around there'd be mucho ruckas. again sis came crying to me.


but u know...5-10 years can make a lot of anger and piss disappear.
 
people make mistakes. even our parents are human. id give my pops a shot (whom ive never interacted with in any way), but only one. not to speak ill of your sister, but maybe she misunderstood?

could he be attempting to make amends?
 
I am in a situation mildly like this with my family now, my father has quite the past with numerous wives; the only thing I can say is to suck it up once, try to make something of it and extend him the grace that you would desire.

Forgiveness takes but a moment; family is forever, and forever is a very long time.
 
Originally posted by: slycat
I would be pissed if i were you... but i guess you're a better person than i am. 🙂
Click to expand...

believe me i was and i'm a fvcking hothead...more so when he took my sister's piano and gave it to his new wife.
it was done while i was away coz if i'd been around there'd be mucho ruckas. again sis came crying to me.


but u know...5-10 years can make a lot of anger and piss disappear.
Click to expand...

You aren't a hothead man, you are looney!
 
Originally posted by: slycat
I would be pissed if i were you... but i guess you're a better person than i am. 🙂
Click to expand...

believe me i was and i'm a fvcking hothead...more so when he took my sister's piano and gave it to his new wife.
it was done while i was away coz if i'd been around there'd be mucho ruckas. again sis came crying to me.


but u know...5-10 years can make a lot of anger and piss disappear.
Click to expand...

It comes to show what kind a person you are, a lot better than your father. You are a better person and man than your father, and that's all you need. 🙂
 
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