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My dad is in intensive care unit, on life support.

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deanx0r said:
Thanks everyone for your replies. My dad suffered from a stroke on Tuesday that incapacitated most of his brain. His kidneys and heart are now failing him too. He is currently unconscious, in a deep coma. The prognosis is very bad. His chances of recovery are very slim.

I just had lunch with him on monday, and he seemed just fine. The more I think about it, the more I believe he knew something was going to happen. With our recent talks, he finally made peace with me and my mother. On monday, he insisted at the very last moment that I have lunch with him, as if he knew it would be our last time together. For months, he kept telling me he might die any day now, but I kept blowing him off because I didn't want to talk about it. But he always insisted he didn't want to be kept alive by machines either as a vegetable or suffering. He wanted to go painlessly with dignity. The least I can do now is to honor his wish.

I really don't know what to feel right now. I am somehow happy because we made amends and he knows he is leaving us peacefully, with good memories. But at the same time, I am angry that he has to go so early and young, and I am also filled with regrets that I was on bad terms with him over the past few years and that I didn't spend more time with him.

Thanks for listening folks.
Click to expand...

That's a pretty unpleasant situation. Did your dad have a medical directive that says he doesn't want to be kept plugged into the machines?
Every state is different about this, but without a written directive, it can be nearly impossible to pull the plug if he goes brain dead...but the body lingers.
 
Good luck OP, I hope there is a confidant you can utilize to manage grief and grief related issues.

My condolences.
 
BoomerD said:
That's a pretty unpleasant situation. Did your dad have a medical directive that says he doesn't want to be kept plugged into the machines?
Every state is different about this, but without a written directive, it can be nearly impossible to pull the plug if he goes brain dead...but the body lingers.
Click to expand...

if OP is the legal decision maker it shouldn't be a problem. and clinical brain death is appropriate grounds for termination of care
 
Made me tear up a bit.

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Try to remember the good times is all I can say.
 
My condolences on the loss of your dad.

Take comfort in knowing that you were able to spend time with him this week, and that there was a healing peace between your mother, you and him. You were given a gift that many never receive.
 
I feel for you. Death is such an impossible thing for us to get our minds around. There is no timetable for your grief, just a gradual lessening of the pain. You get to keep all the good times alive in your heart, and everything else lessens and fades.
 
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