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My brother's working on screwing himself over*Weak Update*

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*UPDATE*

I'm gonna meet him for lunch today.

I really lit into him last night when he told me about the car. Chewed him up one side and down the other. Not sure if it did any good whatsoever... I suspect it just made him mad. We'll see today.
 
Originally posted by: Kibbo
Dude, there's nothing you can do.

The cigarette thing is hardly urgent. The sex thing is risky, but there are riskier things.

You can't give him direction in life, and you can't protect him from taking risks. Even if they are stupid..

The best thing you can do is cuff him over the ear and tell him to grow up. Even then, he may not right away. Or, you could have an Oprah moment and tell him to seek counselling and that you'll always be there to talk to him when he needs it, 'cause he obviously has issues. But then we'd have to take away your man card. Unless you say it under the influence of a bottle of whiskey.

Hey, you could cuff him over the head with a bottle of whiskey, then drink it. That sounds fun.

What was the question?
Click to expand...

Cigarettes +

Some people can handle Cigarettes + some people can't.... he doesnt appear to be.

 
Do we have the same little brother? WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

My little brother was just like yours, only worse. He is MUCH better now and turning stuff around. What changed him? A few weeks in the county clink.

 
Originally posted by: Doboji
Originally posted by: Kibbo
Dude, there's nothing you can do.

The cigarette thing is hardly urgent. The sex thing is risky, but there are riskier things.
Click to expand...

Cigarettes +

Some people can handle Cigarettes + some people can't.... he doesnt appear to be.
Click to expand...

Okay, I admit that I'm so far out of the loop that I can't even see it, so is "cigarettes +" some kind of cryptic reference to marijuana?

As to the rest, you can't make him do anything. Let him know you will be there for him but that you won't pay his bills or make his bail.
 
well, not desireable behavior but as long as you don't rescue him he should have to face the natural consequences soon.

Don't think that you have to save people from the consequences that directly result from their choices. It's the best way to learn the hardest lessons of life.
 
maybe the best thing is to sit down with him and explain to him the severity of the situation he's in. he seems to be living in the moment and you need to snap him back to reality.

maybe there's something else troubling him and he's doing all these things to take his mind away from that?
 
The new generation is full of people like this - I have a brother that doesn't seem to understand reality as well.
 
He's probably afraid to leave college. Help his ass graduate, and then maybe the shock of the real world will knock some sense into him.

Or he might just die 😕
 
Sounds like there might be something going on with him... might wanna try having a serious talk with him... not an intervention, just talk to him. Trust me, he won't come to you if he is having some sort of problem.
 
Well it really sux to hear that about your brother. You can always intervein, and TRY and talk to him about the sex and smoking and jobs etc. But the school debt OMG, that bad thing about that is even if your brother trys to turn a new leaf, that school debt will NEVER go away. Even if he files bankruptcy to start new, he will be 100K in the hole for his life. Good luck with him 🙂
 
Here is just some hints to follow when you speak with him:


A) Avoid all Crititicism!!!!!!!!

B) Dont talk about what you want!!!!!!!!!

C)Get him to talk about what he wants!!!!!

D) Dont even think about talking in a condescending manner!!!
 
Honestly, I know how you feel...They will never learn!

I had a friend wthat was also fvcking up her life too...with debts and other problems. I bailed her out countless times and she always say that she'll get a job and this is the last time. I guess they choose to be like that. I didn't mind helping her out but the way people LIE, just hurts me.
 
It's a sad thing to have to watch someone mess up their life. But you have to realize that it is their life and that there's only so much you can do for someone who's not looking for help.
 
Originally posted by: Doboji

Cigarettes +

Some people can handle Cigarettes + some people can't.... he doesnt appear to be.
Click to expand...

Well, is it a full-blown substance abuse problem? Or is it just that he is too fond of partying? Are you experienced enough with substances to tell the difference?

Given the rest of his behaviour, he either has a self-destructive urge, or he just needs to grow up. Drug use is more likely a symptom than a cause.
 
Originally posted by: Kibbo
Originally posted by: Doboji

Cigarettes +

Some people can handle Cigarettes + some people can't.... he doesnt appear to be.
Click to expand...

Well, is it a full-blown substance abuse problem? Or is it just that he is too fond of partying? Are you experienced enough with substances to tell the difference?
Click to expand...

Without talking about me, suffice to say that he is on the borderline (occasionally crossed borderline)of it being a real problem.
 
*UPDATE*

We went to lunch... and I told him he was being really stupid, and that he at the very least needed to get insurance.

He showed me the car and explained that he couldn't afford insurance, and he can't afford to get it registered, and he can't afford to get the CV joints fixed(whatever that means) in order to get it to pass inspection.

I explained to him that all that meant that he simply cannot afford to get a car yet. Which I understand his frustration, all these other kids at his school George Washington University, all drive around the BMWs that their mommy and daddy bought them for HS graduation. I then point out if he hadn't of made all the mistakes in the past, like the one he's in the middle of making, he'd have the money for the car, and a stable job to be able to handle the financial burden of owning a car.

He's like fvck that, I want a car, and I've got one. So I give up... You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
 
Send him all your money

...or at least let him move in with you

He'll have more fun when he's dragging someone else down with him.

Seriously:he needs a couple months in jail. Make an anonymous call to the cops and report the car issue. He'll eventually get pulled over, and his problems will begin getting fixed.
 
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