My brother's working on screwing himself over*Weak Update*

[Doboji]

My brother is working on destroying himself as quickly as possible.

The baseline:

1) smokes cigarettes +

2) has sex unprotected with multiple partners

The additionals:

He has outstanding traffic fines in excess of $500 in Virginia and Pennsylvania for the last 3 years.

He is in his 7th year of undergrad, and his financial aid told him this semester that they will no longer fund him after this semester. He's going to be 1-2 classes shy of his degree.

He has collected over 100K school debt now.

He was working at Barnes and Nobles.... which he needed the money from in order to pay his rent. Earlier this week he calls me, and mom to ask for money to pay the rent. 2 days ago he quit his job.

Last night he calls me up at midnight all excited:

"Max I'm drivin around dc!"

"what did you borrow mom's car?"

"nope bought one"

"what?"

"yeap this girl sold it to me for $250"

"How are you going to pay for insurance, taxes and tags?"

"nahhh I'm not worried about that.... I got some paper tags from a friend"

So yeah now he's driving around DC in a car that he bought for $250 without legal tags, or insurance.

-Max

 

[rudder]

well bail him out. That way when he screws up again he knows he will be rescued.

 

[PricklyPete]

wow...he does seem to be a winner.

 

[piroroadkill]

Congratulations to your friend, this all sounds like a great, great plan.

After all, it's better to burnout than fade away

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: piroroadkill
Congratulations to your friend, this all sounds like a great, great plan.

After all, it's better to burnout than fade away

my brother.... I can't stand by and watch my little brother destroy himself... there's got to be something that can be done.

 

[Stumps]

hmmm reminds me of some of my friends

 

[meltdown75]

ah, you're just jealous 'cuz he's livin' it up.

 

[Kibbo]

Dude, there's nothing you can do.

The cigarette thing is hardly urgent. The sex thing is risky, but there are riskier things.

You can't give him direction in life, and you can't protect him from taking risks. Even if they are stupid..

The best thing you can do is cuff him over the ear and tell him to grow up. Even then, he may not right away. Or, you could have an Oprah moment and tell him to seek counselling and that you'll always be there to talk to him when he needs it, 'cause he obviously has issues. But then we'd have to take away your man card. Unless you say it under the influence of a bottle of whiskey.

Hey, you could cuff him over the head with a bottle of whiskey, then drink it. That sounds fun.

What was the question?

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: piroroadkill
Congratulations to your friend, this all sounds like a great, great plan.

After all, it's better to burnout than fade away

my brother.... I can't stand by and watch my little brother destroy himself... there's got to be something that can be done.

You could report his illegal tags to the police, maybe that would be a wake-up call for him. Otherwise, you can only sit back and enjoy the show; nothing's gonna change until he wants to change it. Maybe start saving your money to pay for his medical and/or legal bills.

 

[yobarman]

Give him a smack upside the head. He needs some responsibility, but what can ya do.

 

[Stumps]

if he fvcks up bad, let him sort it out himself..harsh, yes but it wake him up, as long as people keep bailing him out he will remain a retard..I know from experience

 

[StageLeft]

That sucks, but if he's determined, I don't know what you can do. Perhaps a 'wake up call' is needed, but it may also drive somebody like that to suicide, or god only knows what.

 

[Kaido]

Originally posted by: Stumps
if he fvcks up bad, let him sort it out himself..harsh, yes but it wake him up, as long as people keep bailing him out he will remain a retard..I know from experience

yeah, same. it's like with alcoholics...most of them need to hit rock bottom - lose their wife, kids, job, house, everything - before they wise up. if they get bailed out everytime, they'll keep doing it because they have no reason to change. a lot of people don't have enough willpower/maturity at different points in their life to make this change from the inside, they have to get smashed in life before they grow up.

with that said, remember that what you're seeing is just a snapshot in his life...yeah, he's not doing too good, but there's a good possibility that he will shape up down the road. I didn't shape up till after high school (not that I was as bad off as your bro or anything, but for the sake of making a point), but I'm in community college now and I care about what I do now. my uncle didn't grow up until he was about 45 or so. got kicked out of apartments, never could keep a steady job or girlfriend, etc. some people mature at different rates; don't be too hard on your bro because he'll probably grow up, just a little later than most people. just think back on your high school days

 

[piroroadkill]

Originally posted by: Doboji

Originally posted by: piroroadkill
Congratulations to your friend, this all sounds like a great, great plan.

After all, it's better to burnout than fade away

my brother.... I can't stand by and watch my little brother destroy himself... there's got to be something that can be done.

I was being sarcastic, man, it really doesn't sound good and I hope you can figure out how to make him see what he's doing is so fuc ked up.

 

[Pepsei]

Hey, at least he's not a hardcore drug user.

 

[bleeb]

Tell him to practice bending over...

because he's going to be bending over in "pound me in the arse prison" soon~

 

[rh71]

your parents did a poor / half-assed job. It's your turn.

 

[moshquerade]

you really can't help someone who won't help themselves.

he's going to end up in jail.

 

[gigapet]

The guy is an adult. He is in charge of his life. There is not much you can do. He needs to be slapped with a nice does of reality and you and your parents bailing him out of trouble all the time will not accomplish this.

 

[EGGO]

Most you can do is just give him the list you gave us and hopefully he'll realize he needs help.

 

[Argo]

Are you older or younger? If you're older an asskicking might be in order.

 

[daveymark]

he's an adult, the best thing you can do is let him learn from his mistakes.

 

[DeMeo]

it's better to burn out, than to fade away....

 

[tallest1]

Tell him that you got a call from a doctor saying you got AIDS and 'april fools' him at the end of the day

 

[Isocene]

INTERVENTION