Mom & Dad conflict over a daughter's proposed marriage

[DaShen]

And to the idiots out there that keep saying true love is true love. :roll:

Love is an action not a feeling. The feeling is fleeting and will eventually go away. With action though, feelings can go with it. A person who is willing to do the action of love can love anyone. Romantic love definitely needs emotional attachment, but to the people who think that there is only one person out there you can become emotionally attached to before marriage, grow up a little and experience the world. I will stipulate that after marriage, that the only way to really act loving to your SO is to through action only see them as your romantic interest (also an act of love).

 

[Gulzakar]

I think the bottom line belongs to wisdom. The OP is speaking from the perspective of not only a parent, but also an older human being.

Love is blind, yes, it makes you stupid in many cases, but in this case you truly have to measure out the pros and cons. If his daughter wants children, what will that do to her? Let's say she has an HIV free baby, what happens when her husband dies sooner than the norm? And it will happen, make no mistake, the drugs help... a lot, but HIV mutates quite rapidly. What happens if she gets HIV? What about a baby with HIV? It really goes beyond the "love" aspect and belongs in the area of responsibility. You wouldn't encourage a welfare family to have a baby, would you? I'm not denying that she loves him, but how many YAGT threads have you read on this board where your first instinct was to tell the OP to run? Seriously, think about it, maybe you're taking the Devils Advocate role because her SO has HIV?

I think the ultimate problem is that his daughter is an immature 23 year old...I'm sorry, but I know of very few 23 year old men and women who are mature enough to handle it. It's the age just out of college, they have no concept of life, and all the love they know is juvenile.

 

[HombrePequeno]

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I think the bottom line belongs to wisdom. The OP is speaking from the perspective of not only a parent, but also an older human being.

Love is blind, yes, it makes you stupid in many cases, but in this case you truly have to measure out the pros and cons. If his daughter wants children, what will that do to her? Let's say she has an HIV free baby, what happens when her husband dies sooner than the norm? And it will happen, make no mistake, the drugs help... a lot, but HIV mutates quite rapidly. What happens if she gets HIV? What about a baby with HIV? It really goes beyond the "love" aspect and belongs in the area of responsibility. You wouldn't encourage a welfare family to have a baby, would you? I'm not denying that she loves him, but how many YAGT threads have you read on this board where your first instinct was to tell the OP to run? Seriously, think about it, maybe you're taking the Devils Advocate role because her SO has HIV?

I think the ultimate problem is that his daughter is an immature 23 year old...I'm sorry, but I know of very few 23 year old men and women who are mature enough to handle it. It's the age just out of college, they have no concept of life, and all the love they know is juvenile.

You're talking about fairly miniscule percentages here. Again, the chance of her contracted HIV when they're practicing safe sex is nearly 0. If they aren't practicing safe sex (ie they're stupid), the chance is still fairly low (something like 1 in 50 each time they have sex). For a baby to have HIV passed down from the mother, assuming she is taking antiretroviral medication, the chance is around 1%.

These days HIV is not the end of the world. Sure, he'll have a shorter lifespan but if he's up to date on the latest drugs it won't be significantly shorter. Too many people freak out over HIV and think if they even come into contact with a person who has HIV, they'll get it. Don't be fvcking retards; educate yourselves.

 

[dmw16]

it is disgusting that you'd make her choose between him and her family. if you want her to be happy support her.

 

[Wreckem]

Love doesn't last forever, the AIDS does. That said if precautions are taken, she has a fairly low chance of getting aids.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I think the bottom line belongs to wisdom. The OP is speaking from the perspective of not only a parent, but also an older human being.

Love is blind, yes, it makes you stupid in many cases, but in this case you truly have to measure out the pros and cons. If his daughter wants children, what will that do to her? Let's say she has an HIV free baby, what happens when her husband dies sooner than the norm? And it will happen, make no mistake, the drugs help... a lot, but HIV mutates quite rapidly. What happens if she gets HIV? What about a baby with HIV? It really goes beyond the "love" aspect and belongs in the area of responsibility. You wouldn't encourage a welfare family to have a baby, would you? I'm not denying that she loves him, but how many YAGT threads have you read on this board where your first instinct was to tell the OP to run? Seriously, think about it, maybe you're taking the Devils Advocate role because her SO has HIV?

I think the ultimate problem is that his daughter is an immature 23 year old...I'm sorry, but I know of very few 23 year old men and women who are mature enough to handle it. It's the age just out of college, they have no concept of life, and all the love they know is juvenile.

DING DING DING!!!!

The OP should tell his daughter to compromise and postpone the marriage for a couple years and be engaged. During that time she may grow up a bit and realize this might not be the wisest choice.

Most of the people who post about "true love" are probably very young.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

I side with the OP, though to me, If my daugter were to go through with it I'd rather just cut her out of my life then and there and have it done with, than to watch her suffer as she watches her husband die and very likely will contract the disease as well. Though I'm of the mindset that if I'm going to have to suffer for the rest of my life due to illness or an injury, I'd just a ssoon jump off a building or blow my brains out.

23 might be a legal adult but 99% of people at that age are still stupid. I bet she's more in a crush feeling type mode now and feels pity for him which is why she is doing this.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
I side with the OP, though to me, If my daugter were to go through with it I'd rather just cut her out of my life then and there and have it done with, than to watch her suffer as she watches her husband die and very likely will contract the disease as well. Though I'm of the mindset that if I'm going to have to suffer for the rest of my life due to illness or an injury, I'd just a ssoon jump off a building or blow my brains out.

23 might be a legal adult but 99% of people at that age are still stupid. I bet she's more in a crush feeling type mode now and feels pity for him which is why she is doing this.

Exactly. I had to grow up a lot in High School and College and it sometimes astounded me how immature college students really are. Even after college, many of the career people are still loopy.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: jpbelauskas

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: Safeway

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: Safeway
I would say ... no fvcking way.

There are a billion things that could, and mostly likely will, go wrong:

1) Your daughter will get HIV/AIDS
2) Her maybe husband will die
3) Her maybe husband will give her AIDS and then die
4) Her maybe husband will give her AIDS and then both die
5) ...
6) ...
7) ...
8) ...
9) ...
10) ...
11) ...
12) ...
13) ...
...

See, there is never a "5) Profit". Nothing good can come of it.

How about #14: It's no one's choice but the daughter's. She is not a mindless cog put here to serve her father's wishes. She is an adult with her own decisions to make.

I'm sorry, but someone that is willing to potentially seed HIV/AIDS is someone that doesn't know the value of life. And if she gets HIV/AIDS? And if she gets pregnant and doesn't want to abort the birth? And if she gives birth to an HIV/AIDS child?

It is just her life she is affecting. So you take your "it's her choice" bullshit and stuff it up your ass, where it belongs.

It IS her choice, no matter how many times you try to convince yourselves otherwise. I know it affects other people, but it's still HER CHOICE. Anyone who would threaten to disown their children like this shouldn't have children in the first place. I feel sorry for your children (or future children).

yea keep going with the "its her choice" sh*t. it isnt that cut and dry. as may other people have pointed out "her choice" will effect many more people than her and her future husband. If she marries this guy and get infected with HIV then has a kid, then husbands health takes a bad turn and they cant afford the meds or hospital time. husband dies. then daughter who is HIV+ along with a kid who is HIV+ cant support themselves and need help. who are they gonna call?

it may be "her choice" but its a cruel choice and not fair to her family members to be put in that situation.

{b]wrong.

It's cruel for her family not to support a decision she has made regarding a very special event.[/b] she has made the choice to get married to someone she loves. her choice and her right as an adult. as parents they have two choices. accept and be happy for her and encourage her to be as knowledgeable about aids/hiv as possible, or two, whine and cry about it forever alienating themselves from their daughter.

to the OP, Have you even met this man? have you given yourselves the chance to see beyond the disease to heart of the person your daughter fell in love with? or did you do what most typical asian families do and already snub him because he is "different"?

before you go calling me out as a racist, i am asian, I know exactly what I am talking about. see the real person behind the disease and make your decision based on that. he is still human and deserves human love and compassion as much as the next person, regardless and your daughter has decided to give her heart to him.

as for the fear of contracting the disease, read up on it some more. the chances are not as high as you may think if your daughter and future husband practiced safe sexual relations. as a father, it is your DUTY (as much as it is her own) to educate her and him on the matter.

HAHAHAHAHA

how laughable.

he goes on and on about HER choice, well what about the CHOICE of the father? DUH.

if she has a choice what do to with her live despite what it might do to the rest of the family then GUESS WHAT YOU STUPID FVCKING SH!T. the family has a CHOICE how they will respond to HER CHOICE.

:roll:



it's absolutely cruel of her to force her father to accept the fate that she might be condeming herself too (to use YOUR stupid logic).

hence, it comes down to this, she has the choice to marry or not marry someone her father disapproves of.

HE has the choice to continue to disaprove of her choice.

for you to go on and on and on about HER choice and then condeming his choice just shows the rest of us hot truly stupid you are.

 

[Modular]

You're daughter will die of AIDS if she gets married. This is a decision she must make, but it is not a decision which will only affect her. It will affect those who love her more than anything else. Doesn't she understand that she will die one of the worst deaths known to man? Is she OK with making those who love her watch her die this way? If so, then she is a selfish b!tch and you would be better off severing your relationship with her anyways. IMHO (Horrible Opinion ) It would be better to figuratively kill her in your mind now, while she is healthy and happy, than to watch her slowly ebb away in some hospital bed for 10 years...

Just my opinion, unless she already has AIDS and just isn't telling you guys..


I just read some of this thread...condom usage!? What a joke. I bet 90% of you saying that condom usage can keep her from getting AIDS are direct results of failed condoms.

Nice try though.

 

[QueBert]

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I think the bottom line belongs to wisdom. The OP is speaking from the perspective of not only a parent, but also an older human being.

Love is blind, yes, it makes you stupid in many cases, but in this case you truly have to measure out the pros and cons. If his daughter wants children, what will that do to her? Let's say she has an HIV free baby, what happens when her husband dies sooner than the norm? And it will happen, make no mistake, the drugs help... a lot, but HIV mutates quite rapidly. What happens if she gets HIV? What about a baby with HIV? It really goes beyond the "love" aspect and belongs in the area of responsibility. You wouldn't encourage a welfare family to have a baby, would you? I'm not denying that she loves him, but how many YAGT threads have you read on this board where your first instinct was to tell the OP to run? Seriously, think about it, maybe you're taking the Devils Advocate role because her SO has HIV?

I think the ultimate problem is that his daughter is an immature 23 year old...I'm sorry, but I know of very few 23 year old men and women who are mature enough to handle it. It's the age just out of college, they have no concept of life, and all the love they know is juvenile.

You're talking about fairly miniscule percentages here. Again, the chance of her contracted HIV when they're practicing safe sex is nearly 0. If they aren't practicing safe sex (ie they're stupid), the chance is still fairly low (something like 1 in 50 each time they have sex). For a baby to have HIV passed down from the mother, assuming she is taking antiretroviral medication, the chance is around 1%.

These days HIV is not the end of the world. Sure, he'll have a shorter lifespan but if he's up to date on the latest drugs it won't be significantly shorter. Too many people freak out over HIV and think if they even come into contact with a person who has HIV, they'll get it. Don't be fvcking retards; educate yourselves.

are you saying there's a 1 in 50 chance she'll contract the virus even if they pratice safe sex? I don't have exact figures on me, but the number is actually way way lower then that, in the tens of thousands. Like I said, a person who plays the lotto every week COULD win, but it's not likely at all. Until somebody provides the thread with a link that states otherwise (which they can't) calm the fvck down, she ain't going to die...

too all the people saying "if she marries him, she'll die" I have one word "education" I've never seen so many assumptions and such a level of ignorance in my life.

 

[HombrePequeno]

Originally posted by: Modular
You're daughter will die of AIDS if she gets married. This is a decision she must make, but it is not a decision which will only affect her. It will affect those who love her more than anything else. Doesn't she understand that she will die one of the worst deaths known to man? Is she OK with making those who love her watch her die this way? If so, then she is a selfish b!tch and you would be better off severing your relationship with her anyways. IMHO (Horrible Opinion ) It would be better to figuratively kill her in your mind now, while she is healthy and happy, than to watch her slowly ebb away in some hospital bed for 10 years...

Just my opinion, unless she already has AIDS and just isn't telling you guys..


I just read some of this thread...condom usage!? What a joke. I bet 90% of you saying that condom usage can keep her from getting AIDS are direct results of failed condoms.

Nice try though.

Wow, you're a complete dipsh!t. If you want to put up some statistics showing condom use among couples (one being HIV-positive) fails and that the other partner always gets HIV, be my guest. I, however, at least did a simple Google search to find some basic statistics published in the New England Journal of Medicine. You may be too young to figure out how to effectively use a condom but most people have figured it out by the time they are 30 (which he is).

You also realize that HIV is different from AIDS right? HIV doesn't just transform into AIDS over night. If you stay up to date with your medicines, you can prevent the onset of AIDS for decades or possibly even the rest of your life.

 

[randay]

Murder-suicide?

 

[HombrePequeno]

Originally posted by: QueBert

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I think the bottom line belongs to wisdom. The OP is speaking from the perspective of not only a parent, but also an older human being.

Love is blind, yes, it makes you stupid in many cases, but in this case you truly have to measure out the pros and cons. If his daughter wants children, what will that do to her? Let's say she has an HIV free baby, what happens when her husband dies sooner than the norm? And it will happen, make no mistake, the drugs help... a lot, but HIV mutates quite rapidly. What happens if she gets HIV? What about a baby with HIV? It really goes beyond the "love" aspect and belongs in the area of responsibility. You wouldn't encourage a welfare family to have a baby, would you? I'm not denying that she loves him, but how many YAGT threads have you read on this board where your first instinct was to tell the OP to run? Seriously, think about it, maybe you're taking the Devils Advocate role because her SO has HIV?

I think the ultimate problem is that his daughter is an immature 23 year old...I'm sorry, but I know of very few 23 year old men and women who are mature enough to handle it. It's the age just out of college, they have no concept of life, and all the love they know is juvenile.

You're talking about fairly miniscule percentages here. Again, the chance of her contracted HIV when they're practicing safe sex is nearly 0. If they aren't practicing safe sex (ie they're stupid), the chance is still fairly low (something like 1 in 50 each time they have sex). For a baby to have HIV passed down from the mother, assuming she is taking antiretroviral medication, the chance is around 1%.

These days HIV is not the end of the world. Sure, he'll have a shorter lifespan but if he's up to date on the latest drugs it won't be significantly shorter. Too many people freak out over HIV and think if they even come into contact with a person who has HIV, they'll get it. Don't be fvcking retards; educate yourselves.

are you saying there's a 1 in 50 chance she'll contract the virus even if they pratice safe sex? I don't have exact figures on me, but the number is actually way way lower then that, in the tens of thousands. Like I said, a person who plays the lotto every week COULD win, but it's not likely at all. Until somebody provides the thread with a link that states otherwise (which they can't) calm the fvck down, she ain't going to die...

too all the people saying "if she marries him, she'll die" I have one word "education" I've never seen so many assumptions and such a level of ignorance in my life.

Read the sentence again, the scenario is them not practicing safe sex.

 

[intogamer]

buttsecks?

 

[RaiderJ]

I would be against it and would not attend the wedding if it were my daughter. Supporting a relationship that could possibly have my child contracting AIDs would be irresponsible.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Modular
You're daughter will die of AIDS if she gets married. This is a decision she must make, but it is not a decision which will only affect her. It will affect those who love her more than anything else. Doesn't she understand that she will die one of the worst deaths known to man? Is she OK with making those who love her watch her die this way? If so, then she is a selfish b!tch and you would be better off severing your relationship with her anyways. IMHO (Horrible Opinion ) It would be better to figuratively kill her in your mind now, while she is healthy and happy, than to watch her slowly ebb away in some hospital bed for 10 years...

Just my opinion, unless she already has AIDS and just isn't telling you guys..


I just read some of this thread...condom usage!? What a joke. I bet 90% of you saying that condom usage can keep her from getting AIDS are direct results of failed condoms.

Nice try though.

As someone already pointed out, you're an ignorant dipsh!t. You have no idea what you're talking about.

If they reliably and properly use protection, her chances of contracting the disease are near zero. Even when not using protection the chances are less than 10%. Far lower if he pulls out every time.

Maybe you should get educated on HIV before making such statements and acting like you have a fscking clue what you're talking about.

 

[Clocker]

THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THE ORIGINAL POSTER

OPPOSE YOUR DAUGHTER'S DECISION BUT BE SUPPORTIVE AND LOVE HER

If I were in the same situation I would most likely feel the same way. Some of these posts seem to indicate that since she is adult then it is no business of yours. I respectfully disagree. Would this thread be different if the daughter chose drugs instead of a person. I mean I knew of drug addicts who were in love with their drugs but should we loving support that.

Again an obvious conterargument would be that drugs are not a person. And to an extent i agree. However, I want to point out that i think it is a parents responsibility to at least make an earnest attempt to protect their child. Regardless of a child's age a parent will be a parent of course their roles change when the child become an adult. Also, If they are going to get married then they will more than likely have sex. And the possiblity of her getting a disease is very probably. Its is definitely not 0 percent.

I apologize if i come off so cold hearted. But then again, I would never allow or at least earnestly prevent my daughter from working in a radioactive waste facility or marry a man who resides or has a business in Iraq (I am using this country as an example of a warzone not implying race).

Last, I want to point out that i do not know who the person is that has aids. he could have contracted the disease by no fault of his own. and he could be a great person. perhaps i am selfish but i would want my child to live longer than me.

 

[QueBert]

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno

Originally posted by: QueBert

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
I think the bottom line belongs to wisdom. The OP is speaking from the perspective of not only a parent, but also an older human being.

Love is blind, yes, it makes you stupid in many cases, but in this case you truly have to measure out the pros and cons. If his daughter wants children, what will that do to her? Let's say she has an HIV free baby, what happens when her husband dies sooner than the norm? And it will happen, make no mistake, the drugs help... a lot, but HIV mutates quite rapidly. What happens if she gets HIV? What about a baby with HIV? It really goes beyond the "love" aspect and belongs in the area of responsibility. You wouldn't encourage a welfare family to have a baby, would you? I'm not denying that she loves him, but how many YAGT threads have you read on this board where your first instinct was to tell the OP to run? Seriously, think about it, maybe you're taking the Devils Advocate role because her SO has HIV?

I think the ultimate problem is that his daughter is an immature 23 year old...I'm sorry, but I know of very few 23 year old men and women who are mature enough to handle it. It's the age just out of college, they have no concept of life, and all the love they know is juvenile.

You're talking about fairly miniscule percentages here. Again, the chance of her contracted HIV when they're practicing safe sex is nearly 0. If they aren't practicing safe sex (ie they're stupid), the chance is still fairly low (something like 1 in 50 each time they have sex). For a baby to have HIV passed down from the mother, assuming she is taking antiretroviral medication, the chance is around 1%.

These days HIV is not the end of the world. Sure, he'll have a shorter lifespan but if he's up to date on the latest drugs it won't be significantly shorter. Too many people freak out over HIV and think if they even come into contact with a person who has HIV, they'll get it. Don't be fvcking retards; educate yourselves.

are you saying there's a 1 in 50 chance she'll contract the virus even if they pratice safe sex? I don't have exact figures on me, but the number is actually way way lower then that, in the tens of thousands. Like I said, a person who plays the lotto every week COULD win, but it's not likely at all. Until somebody provides the thread with a link that states otherwise (which they can't) calm the fvck down, she ain't going to die...

too all the people saying "if she marries him, she'll die" I have one word "education" I've never seen so many assumptions and such a level of ignorance in my life.

Read the sentence again, the scenario is them not practicing safe sex.

sorry wasn't trying to start sh!t with you, apparently my reading skills are about as poor as the logic of these of these people as to how AIDS spreads. 1 in 50 without protection, I didn't realize it was that low, that is interesting to find out.

Age doesn't always have sh!t to do with a persons maturity level. I know people my age (32) who act like 10 year olds, and I know 19 year olds who have kids and have had apparments and jobs since they were 15. 23 is an adult, and anyone suggesting he disown his daughter because he doesn't agree with her. Regardless of how badly he disagrees with her, is a tard. MAYBE this is her one true love in life. Maybe he'll die next year, maybe he'll live 20 more. All I know is if I found the love of my life and there was an obstical I would figure a way around it.

 

[Modular]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Modular
You're daughter will die of AIDS if she gets married. This is a decision she must make, but it is not a decision which will only affect her. It will affect those who love her more than anything else. Doesn't she understand that she will die one of the worst deaths known to man? Is she OK with making those who love her watch her die this way? If so, then she is a selfish b!tch and you would be better off severing your relationship with her anyways. IMHO (Horrible Opinion ) It would be better to figuratively kill her in your mind now, while she is healthy and happy, than to watch her slowly ebb away in some hospital bed for 10 years...

Just my opinion, unless she already has AIDS and just isn't telling you guys..


I just read some of this thread...condom usage!? What a joke. I bet 90% of you saying that condom usage can keep her from getting AIDS are direct results of failed condoms.

Nice try though.

As someone already pointed out, you're an ignorant dipsh!t. You have no idea what you're talking about.

If they reliably and properly use protection, her chances of contracting the disease are near zero. Even when not using protection the chances are less than 10%. Far lower if he pulls out every time.

Maybe you should get educated on HIV before making such statements and acting like you have a fscking clue what you're talking about.

How ironic! If he pulls out? What the fcuk are you talking about. If he's wearing a condom then what difference would it make if he pulls out...by your assumption that is. Like I said...your parents didn't expect that the condom would break either. And WOOPS they got you...that sucks for them.

 

[BMdoobieW]

She shouldn't marry the guy.

 

[LukeMan]

Originally posted by: Clocker
OPPOSE YOUR DAUGHTER'S DECISION BUT BE SUPPORTIVE AND LOVE HER

oppose but support?

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Modular
You're daughter will die of AIDS if she gets married. This is a decision she must make, but it is not a decision which will only affect her. It will affect those who love her more than anything else. Doesn't she understand that she will die one of the worst deaths known to man? Is she OK with making those who love her watch her die this way? If so, then she is a selfish b!tch and you would be better off severing your relationship with her anyways. IMHO (Horrible Opinion ) It would be better to figuratively kill her in your mind now, while she is healthy and happy, than to watch her slowly ebb away in some hospital bed for 10 years...

Just my opinion, unless she already has AIDS and just isn't telling you guys..


I just read some of this thread...condom usage!? What a joke. I bet 90% of you saying that condom usage can keep her from getting AIDS are direct results of failed condoms.

Nice try though.

As someone already pointed out, you're an ignorant dipsh!t. You have no idea what you're talking about.

If they reliably and properly use protection, her chances of contracting the disease are near zero. Even when not using protection the chances are less than 10%. Far lower if he pulls out every time.

Maybe you should get educated on HIV before making such statements and acting like you have a fscking clue what you're talking about.

How ironic! If he pulls out? What the fcuk are you talking about. If he's wearing a condom then what difference would it make if he pulls out...by your assumption that is. Like I said...your parents didn't expect that the condom would break either. And WOOPS they got you...that sucks for them.

You may think you sound witty, but to someone who knows the facts, you sound like a complete dumbass.

Tell me, what is the rate of HIV infection among monogamous serodiscordant couples who use condoms reliably and properly?

Wait... you don't know that, do you? You didn't even bother to find out, did you?

I do. And it's extremely low. Less than 1%. If the seropositive mate has a low viral load (as most HIV+ people do when taking their meds), the rate goes even lower to neglegable when protection is properly used. In fact, serodiscordant couples with viral loads of less than 3,500 who have regular UNPROTECTED sex have an infection rate of less than 3%. Serodiscordant couples with undetectable viral loads have infection rates even lower.

Now, how about you go educate yourself before you make an even bigger ass of yourself?

 

[imported_Tango]

First observation: The amount of ignorance in this thread is amazing.

Second observation: Most people here know nothing of life.

Third observation: Most people here are ready to accept a meaningless life (i.e. taking Love out of the equation), and say it is a safer way to live.

Fourth observation: Even more alarming, despite this lack of knowledge about the specific HIV problem and life in general, most people feel they can still teach how to live to other people.

For the OP: support your daughter, that's what family is for. Educate yourself about HIV. Let her explain to you her choice. Accept the fact that you cannot change the course of her life, and it will eventually be her decision. Understand that not only you cannot change the course of her life, but it wouldn't be the right thing to do anyway, even if it were a possibility. Understand that if you now don't help her, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

And most important: love your daugher. And respect is a required element of love.

 

[VIAN]

She's 23, so let her make her own decisions.