Mom & Dad conflict over a daughter's proposed marriage

[deejayshakur]

Originally posted by: Tango
First observation: The amount of ignorance in this thread is amazing.

Second observation: Most people here know nothing of life.

Third observation: Most people here are ready to accept a meaningless life (i.e. taking Love out of the equation), and say it is a safer way to live.

Fourth observation: Even more alarming, despite this lack of knowledge about the specific HIV problem and life in general, most people feel they can still teach how to live to other people.

For the OP: support your daughter, that's what family is for. Educate yourself about HIV. Let her explain to you her choice. Accept the fact that you cannot change the course of her life, and it will eventually be her decision. Understand that not only you cannot change the course of her life, but it wouldn't be the right thing to do anyway, even if it were a possibility. Understand that if you now don't help her, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

And most important: love your daugher. And respect is a required element of love.

QFTFT

i hope the OP is reading the thread in its entirety and not only the posts that support his own cause. if not, this thread was a complete waste of bandwidth and time.

 

[Adn4n]

I feel like such a nerd writing this, but have you seen The Lord of the Rings? Vigo's elf lover chooses to stay with him even though she knows that eventually he'll die. This is of course what the audience wants, but it is not something that I could do.

And you say he has AIDS? Do you mean he is HIV positive or does he actually have full blown aids? Because if he does have full blown aids, then he'll likely die. I would recommend to you to take your approach. Discourage her, then you can at least live with yourself if she contracts the disease.

Her situation seems familiar to me on a less serious level. It's as if you've been rejected by that one person you thought was the one, and you think you can never love another person that way. Yet you move on it time.

 

[rchiu]

I agree with most people that ultimately it's OP's daughter choice with this marriage. However, if I were the OP, I would sit down with the daughter, and talk in a positive way about the financial responsibility, the difficulties she, her future husband and possible futher kids will face in the real life, and make sure she is both prepared mentally, financially and whatever else to deal with all the difficulties.

It's her choice, but it's OP's job to help her make an informed decision and not just a sentimental one. I am sorry, but Love just don't solve everything in the real world.

 

[Finalnight]

shut it down! shut it down!

 

[pkme2]

As a parent, you want the best for your daughter. All you can do is grin and bear it. You could be starting a rift between you and your daughter that may never heal.

Nobody said it was going to be easy raising them but if you oppose what she is definitely going to do, the harder you try, the more resolute your daughter will be. Its a lose, lose proposition no matter how it turns out.

AFAIK, I maybe just an parent who wants the best for our kids.