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Mom & Dad conflict over a daughter's proposed marriage

H

huy72983

Junior Member
Hi all,

My wife and I are having a conflict over what to do for our daughter. She met a guy who has Aids and wants to marry him.

My wife says that love is blind and she truly loves the guy. My wife will give her advice but she will support her throughout the whole marriage even though she is heading down the wrong road because she believes that her daughter is a grown woman already and can make her own decisions. My wife thinks my decision is just cold hearted for making her choose between family and husband.

Me: I say my daughter is crazy. Love is only blind to a certain point. She is making a bad decision and as a parent I have to prevent her from making mistakes. I won't support her in the marriage and will vehemently advise her to break off the relationship. I will do whatever I can to help her forget this guy. I will go to meet this guy and tell him to stop seeing my daughter. I will make my daughter choose between her family and this guy. If everything fails, then I will reluctantly support her in the end but I know my relationship with my daughter will be scarred.

So what do you guys think. Who's opinion is right? Mine's or my wife?

thanks for opinions

Poll ADDED

Edit adding ages and more info: She is 23, he is 30. She said she knew of his disease from the beginning. He's been infected for approximately 10-11 years. Dunno how long they been together.
 
long time lurker....this is real situation and i posted on several forums just to get advice so opinions are really appreciated
 
I can only say that for me, the relationship I have with my son is more important than what his decisions as adult would be.

Life is too short and being there for your daughter is more important than what she does, or the consequences of her decisions might be. IMHO.
 
she's over 18 but we just need advice since we been arguing over this...so we just wanna know who's opinion is right
 
This reminds me of a Kenshin OVA where Kenshin came down with leprosy and Karu wanted to know his pain or some crap like that and so they slept together. Of course, Karu then got infected also. In the end Kenshin died and Karu was dying.
 
Originally posted by: huy72983
So what do you guys think. Who's opinion is right? Mine's or my wife?

thanks for opinions
Click to expand...

Who is right doesn't amount to a hill of beans, in this case.

Your daughter has made up her mind to do this, and if you make her choose, she will not choose you. And when she loses him forever, she will not have you to comfort her.

Love doesn't prevent people from making mistakes. Love helps limit the damage. Tell your daughter how much you love her, and then act like you do. You don't have to like her choices, but you should love her more than you hate them.
 
Originally posted by: huy72983
she's over 18 but we just need advice since we been arguing over this...so we just wanna know who's opinion is right
Click to expand...

does that really matter? i think thats a petty argument..
 
Originally posted by: kingtas
I can only say that for me, the relationship I have with my son is more important than what his decisions as adult would be.

Life is too short and being there for your daughter is more important than what she does, or the consequences of her decisions might be. IMHO.
Click to expand...

Sorry didn't see what side you were leaning to??? My plan of action would be to oppose throughout and support her in the very end whereas my wife is supportive all the way.
 
Originally posted by: sixone
Originally posted by: huy72983
So what do you guys think. Who's opinion is right? Mine's or my wife?

thanks for opinions
Click to expand...

Who is right doesn't amount to a hill of beans, in this case.

Your daughter has made up her mind to do this, and if you make her choose, she will not choose you. And when she loses him forever, she will not have you to comfort her.

Love doesn't prevent people from making mistakes. Love helps limit the damage. Tell your daughter how much you love her, and then act like you do. You don't have to like her choices, but you should love her more than you hate them.
Click to expand...

And who is going to comfort him when he loses his daughter forever?
 
Let me ask you a question.

1. She marries this guy against your blessing.
2. This causes friction and communication ceases.
3. A couple of months later she dies in a car wreck.

Is this topic really as important as it might appear, now?
 
How does the guy treat her? How long have they been together? I personally wouldn't like it either, but other than him having aids, are there any other reasons you don't want her to marry him?
 
so she's planning to have sex yes? or not... cause if not I find it hard to believe. If so then tell her she's an idiot. however if she loves him enough to tell you I guess you can't do ******. I think is fvcktarded though.
 
Originally posted by: kingtas
Let me ask you a question.

1. She marries this guy against your blessing.
2. This causes friction and communication ceases.
3. A couple of months later she dies in a car wreck.

Is this topic really as important as it might appear, now?
Click to expand...


She marries guy against his blessings, sleeps with him, gets AIDS and dies a slow painful death. Love comes and goes, but HIV is forever.
 
Originally posted by: madeupfacts
u should ask her

"what make u think he care about u if he is willing 2 put ur life in danger"
"he obviously does not luv u"
Click to expand...

now that's a good argument
 
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