Mixed Signals on proposal

[Malak]

Some girls don't want rings, but you'd know best in this situation. Is she frugal? I had a girlfriend that was like that, a proposal without a ring would have been fine. She really didn't want one.

 

[AstroManLuca]

I've traveled all over the world. I've had a lot of experiences in those travels (and here at home) that I wouldn't trade for any amount of money. And you know what? I will have more of them. I will visit more countries and see more things. Don't sit here and presume that you know anything about me. Go ahead with your whining, but for some of us, $5K is no burden at all and I'm not about to look at my wife and say "I need to buy this new computer!" or "I want to go on this trip!" and then tell her she can't have the ONLY thing she ever asked from me.

I agree here. The only thing I'll say is I think the reasonable maximum is going to be at a different level depending on who it is. You clearly make more money than a lot of people so $5k is reasonable. Doesn't mean it's not a lot of money of course. $5k is not a reasonably attainable level for a lot of people, but nothing against you if you want to spend that kind of money on a ring.

I'm just saying the size of the rock is not the most important thing. My wife's engagement ring is only about 1/4 carat total, with one center diamond and 8 small ones arranged around it. She doesn't love me less because I didn't get a really big one, but I didn't cheap out either. I still spent more on the ring than I spend on my own stuff.

Probably the biggest argument for spending a good amount on the ring is it'll last a long time.

All signs point to get one.

Problem is that the signals just get convoluted. Doing the inverse of it is pretty tough....

Putting things in the chick domain seems frustrating and the results usually do not add up. Maybe I should treat the function as non-linear....

But yeah, ring is the right idea, i guess.

I think you need to have a serious talk about whether the two of you want to get married. She might be saying she doesn't need a ring because she doesn't want to appear materialistic. Deep down, I'm sure she wants one, but she doesn't want to pressure you into overspending for one. On the other hand, if she's telling you she doesn't need a ring because she's not sure she wants to get married, you need to figure that out before you buy a ring and propose.

I spoke about marriage several times with my wife before asking her to marry me. I guess it took away some of the surprise, but it was worth it. How serious are you about this? What about her? If you don't at least have a good idea, you should get one before you ask.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I agree here. The only thing I'll say is I think the reasonable maximum is going to be at a different level depending on who it is. You clearly make more money than a lot of people so $5k is reasonable. Doesn't mean it's not a lot of money of course. $5k is not a reasonably attainable level for a lot of people, but nothing against you if you want to spend that kind of money on a ring.

Sure, I should've been more clear and qualified it. I would never advocate that anyone go seriously into debt just to afford a ring. Buy what you can afford is the best approach.