Mixed Signals on proposal

[artikk]

For some reason I thought this was an EE signal processing thread?

 

[nickbits]

get a ring, but don't spend much

 

[ivan2]

ok signal processing, i shalt forward this to my engineer friend.

do get a ring.

 

[AstroManLuca]

She says that now, but she will change her mind when everyone starts asking her to see the ring.
My advice would be to buy a cheap ring, then include in your proposal the offer to buy whatever ring she wants as long as it is under some affordable number (say $5000) or she can add her own money to the pot and get anything over $5000.

lol $5000 affordable

looks like we got another ATOT millionaire here fellas

 

[kranky]

The fact that you aren't sure if she is being honest with you is a concern. My wife said "no ring" and I took her at her word. She wasn't playing games.

I would not buy a ring if she said she didn't want a ring. How can I justify ignoring what she clearly told me? If it turns out she really wants a ring, but told you not to buy one, whose fault is that? It's not yours, that's for sure.

So if I believed her and didn't buy a ring, and I later found out she really wanted a ring, I would simply say, "Look, I believed what you said. If you really want a ring, I'm glad to get you one, and we can do that right now."

And if she got butthurt that I didn't read her mind and ignore what she said, I'd tell her that in the future, please be honest with me because I'm going to respect your wishes when you tell me something.

 

[zinfamous]

lol at "teachable moment for her"

 

[Numenorean]

If it turns out she really wants a ring, but told you not to buy one, whose fault is that?

She's a woman...so it's still your fault.

 

[PricklyPete]

Buy her a ring. They will say one thing and mean the opposite...get used to it.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Buy her a ring. They will say one thing and mean the opposite...get used to it.

what a great way to start a marriage

Yeah, my wife often says one thing and means the opposite, but that's normally when we have a fight. When it's actually important, we are always sure to be completely honest with each other.

 

[alkemyst]

sounds like she's not interested in marrying you. sorry man, good luck

QFT...this is my thoughts...she doesn't want a ring to be a burden on walk out day.

 

[dpodblood]

QFT...this is my thoughts...she doesn't want a ring to be a burden on walk out day.

*ignore*

Anyway; she says she doesn't want a ring. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. But here's my thought: buy one anyway. It's not about how much you spend. A ring is simply a symbol of your commitment to her. Whether she truly wants one or not you should still feel good about making the gesture.

 

[Nik]

http://forums.anandtech.com/forumdisplay.php?f=32

 

[IndyColtsFan]

lol $5000 affordable

looks like we got another ATOT millionaire here fellas

$5,000, unfortunately, is a reasonable limit. I always said I would never drop more than a couple thousand, but I was wrong and to get a ring with a nice diamond, you're going to hit the $4K to $5K mark. And believe me, there are a lot of guys who spend multiple times that amount and they aren't rich or even well off.

 

[Leros]

For some reason I thought this was an EE signal processing thread?

Me too.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Buy her a ring. They will say one thing and mean the opposite...get used to it.

And if you don't buy her a ring, in the future, she will ALWAYS remind you of it when you have an argument.

 

[Numenorean]

$5,000, unfortunately, is a reasonable limit. I always said I would never drop more than a couple thousand, but I was wrong and to get a ring with a nice diamond, you're going to hit the $4K to $5K mark. And believe me, there are a lot of suckers who spend multiple times that amount and they aren't rich or even well off.

And yes, ATOT members, if you spent $10K, $15K, or $20K on an engagement ring, I AM calling you a sucker. You were duped.

There is no need to spend that much on a ring. Really. Well I guess if you have a materialistic girl who only cares about stuff then maybe that's the least you can get away with, but I feel sorry for anyone who marries that type.

There are many rings which are just fine in the $600-$1000 range and there is really no need to spend more than that.

If I was going to spend $5000 on something, it would be a nice vacation or something far more useful than a ring.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

There is no need to spend that much on a ring. Really. Well I guess if you have a materialistic girl who only cares about stuff then maybe that's the least you can get away with, but I feel sorry for anyone who marries that type.

There are many rings which are just fine in the $600-$1000 range and there is really no need to spend more than that.

You're not going to get a diamond with good color and little or no inclusions anywhere near a K with that money. The key is getting something slightly under 1 K (like .9), as the 1 K mark is where a huge markup happens.

I look at it this way. Sure, I think it is a stupid expense. But, my wife probably thinks my computers, video game consoles, TVs, etc. are a stupid expense and I've spent way more than $5K on those. When we discussed rings, I did tell her that $5K was the limit and she had no problems with that. Spending the 'recommended' 2 or 3 months of salary on a ring would equate to a new car and I am not about to spend that on a ring. She agreed.

If I was going to spend $5000 on something, it would be a nice vacation or something far more useful than a ring.

While I agree in theory, the ring is a one-time expense and was something she wanted badly.

 

[TuxDave]

get a ring, but don't spend much

That's what I read her message as.

 

[Numenorean]

You're not going to get a diamond with good color and little or no inclusions anywhere near a K with that money. The key is getting something slightly under 1 K (like .9), as the 1 K mark is where a huge markup happens.

I look at it this way. Sure, I think it is a stupid expense. But, my wife probably thinks my computers, video game consoles, TVs, etc. are a stupid expense and I've spent way more than $5K on those. When we discussed rings, I did tell her that $5K was the limit and she had no problems with that. Spending the 'recommended' 2 or 3 months of salary on a ring would equate to a new car and I am not about to spend that on a ring. She agreed.



While I agree in theory, the ring is a one-time expense and was something she wanted badly.

So she really wanted that ring to show off. Okay so she's materialistic, whatever.

I know you're not going to get a super awesome diamond for $1K, but what the fuck is the fucking point? It's a fucking stone in some metal you wear on your hand. It's not what is important.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Yeah, you can get a decent ring in the neighborhood of $1000-$1500. It might not compare favorably to all her girlfriends' rings that their fiancees went into debt to buy, but if she loves you she will love it.

There is always a lower limit, of course, where the ring is just insultingly cheap. I don't think $1000 is insultingly cheap. My wife was proposed to by her previous boyfriend with a ring with a couple of teeny-tiny diamonds that were also quite dark... thing was probably $150.

Of course this also depends on your salary. I take home only about $2500 a month after taxes, so $5000 is way more for me than it is for your typical six-figure ATOTer.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

So she really wanted that ring to show off. Okay so she's materialistic, whatever.

No, she wanted a beautiful ring that she would enjoy looking at. I catch her staring at it in the car and smiling all the time.

I know you're not going to get a super awesome diamond for $1K, but what the fuck is the fucking point? It's a fucking stone in some metal you wear on your hand. It's not what is important.

You and I agree, but women think differently. Seriously, my wife probably walks into my man cave, sees my 42" 1080P plasma (1 of 3 that I have, by the way, which probably irritates her a little ) and thinks "What a waste!" She then probably sees my server, HTPC, Xbox 360, and PS3 all sitting there connected to it and also thinks "Damn, imagine what I could do with that money!" And that isn't even touching on my video games, my main computers, my Colts gear, etc.

You just have to place yourself in their shoes. Think of something you like and really want and remember, a women somewhere probably thinks it is dumb.

 

[TuxDave]

lol $5000 affordable

looks like we got another ATOT millionaire here fellas

It is... if the OP started saving on the side for the ring in addition to his research.

 

[Numenorean]

No, she wanted a beautiful ring that she would enjoy looking at. I catch her staring at it in the car and smiling all the time.



You and I agree, but women think differently. Seriously, my wife probably walks into my man cave, sees my 42" 1080P plasma (1 of 3 that I have, by the way, which probably irritates her a little ) and thinks "What a waste!" She then probably sees my server, HTPC, Xbox 360, and PS3 all sitting there connected to it and also thinks "Damn, imagine what I could do with that money!" And that isn't even touching on my video games, my main computers, my Colts gear, etc.

You just have to place yourself in their shoes. Think of something you like and really want and remember, a women somewhere probably thinks it is dumb.

Well then find a better woman. Like mine. Except you can't have her. We're not interested in having super expensive rings or pointless things. I will get her a ring, but there is no need to it to be lavish. Besides she wouldn't want to walk around with something worth that much. Then again I don't need 3 plasma TV's and 50 million games for consoles. I don't have time for that nonsense.

You go ahead and sit on your ass watching TV and playing video games. We'll be out exploring what the world has to offer.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Yeah, you can get a decent ring in the neighborhood of $1000-$1500. It might not compare favorably to all her girlfriends' rings that their fiancees went into debt to buy, but if she loves you she will love it.

There is always a lower limit, of course, where the ring is just insultingly cheap. I don't think $1000 is insultingly cheap. My wife was proposed to by her previous boyfriend with a ring with a couple of teeny-tiny diamonds that were also quite dark... thing was probably $150.

Of course this also depends on your salary. I take home only about $2500 a month after taxes, so $5000 is way more for me than it is for your typical six-figure ATOTer.

I assume you guys are computer enthusiasts like most of us here. Imagine you see this new decked out i7 system with a Radeon 6870, 16 GB of RAM, 300 GB SSD, dual or triple 30" monitors, etc. that you REALLY want and it so happens, you have the money to buy it. You are excited beyond belief, as you have always wanted a machine like this. It is literally the machine of your dreams!

Your wife looks at it with you, looks over to the right, and sees a $370 eMachines and says "Buying that expensive machine is stupid. That machine over there costs 10% as much and it can surf the web just fine."

You would not be happy. I know both of you will probably say "But...but...I'd never spend that much on a PC!" You may not, but surely there is a hobby you have that you wish, just once, you could buy a top-of-the-line piece. That is what a ring is to a woman. $5,000 is a reasonable expense and presented zero burden for me.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Well then find a better woman. Like mine.

For one, you shouldn't be a douchebag and insult my wife. You know nothing about her.

Except you can't have her. We're not interested in having super expensive rings or pointless things. I will get her a ring, but there is no need to it to be lavish.

Lavish?!?!? LOL, a $5K ring is LAVISH?!?!?! Wow, you guys need to get out more.

Besides she wouldn't want to walk around with something worth that much.

Good for her. Others aren't that way.

Then again I don't need 3 plasma TV's and 50 million games for consoles. I don't have time for that nonsense.

I guess it sucks not to have hobbies, eh?

You go ahead and sit on your ass watching TV and playing video games. We'll be out exploring what the world has to offer.

LOL, want to compare trips/vacations and other events we've done in the past year? I don't think you do.