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Missing my best friend's wedding?

A

Alphathree33

Platinum Member
My best friend just sprung the news on me: He's getting married in May.

I'm not in the wedding party (as it's going to be informal, I don't think there's going to be a wedding party) but obviously he wants me to come.

Unfortunately plane tickets to where his wedding is are about $500, and by the time you add in food, hotel, gifts, and so on, we're talking $1000.

For those of you who follow my random ATOT threads, you'd know I'm in the process of moving to a new condo, buying furniture, and so on, which includes tons of up-front expenses. And I'm still a student for the next two months, so I have no new income to speak of.

Long story short, I can't afford it without digging into my savings.

I've never been to a wedding before, and it IS my best friend. On the other hand, at a time when I'm spending so much money already, I'd feel pretty bad digging into my savings for a two-day trip.

What would you do and why?
 
Depending on where in Florida the wedding is, you may find tickets to Miami or Orlando cheaper than the final destination. Then either get picked up or rent a vehicle.
 
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Depending on where in Florida the wedding is, you may find tickets to Miami or Orlando cheaper than the final destination. Then either get picked up or rent a vehicle.
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Just as a note, if flying into Orlando most of the roads out of the airport are toll roads. Have cash ready for them.
 
What would I do? I'd drive. Where in Florida? Coming from where? It'd take more time, maybe a day or two extra, but that gives you lots of options for saving money (like picking a motel 30 miles away that costs $25 a night.)
 
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
this is why you have savings doofus
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Shut up, when someone asks you to fly somewhere and put yourself up for a weekend.. thats a big expense.

Personally, my buddy is flying me to seattle this summer AND paying for my hotel room.

Someone just can't expect you to just drop a ton of coin.

Summarily, how long as this guy known he's been getting married? I mean this takes alot of advanced planning, if the guy had let him known a month of two ago it might have been much cheaper.

Edit:

If he's your best friend does he have any family that would put you up for two nights?
 
I've known him for about ten years. He's been engaged for a while but has apparently only decided on the wedding recently. He originally said it was going to be several years before he got married.

He doesn't live in Florida, so no family... he's flying out there too. He's booked off several blocks of rooms in a hotel.

As for "this is why you have savings doofas", that's true, except that I'm already digging into my savings in a significant way to pay the other expenses in my life right now.
 
Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I've known him for about ten years.

He doesn't live in Florida, so no family... he's flying out there too. He's booked off several blocks of rooms in a hotel.

As for "this is why you have savings doofas", that's true, except that I'm already digging into my savings in a significant way to pay the other expenses in my life right now.
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Wait.. traditionally if people are holding a wedding where everyone needs to fly too and pay for rooms, it's usual for the couple to pay for the rooms as well, because it's awfully inconsiderate to make people pay for to attend something that they otherwise wouldn't have to attend.

Edit:

If the answer is, he couldn't afford to pay for the rooms.. then he should know what it's like to have to put the attendees in the same unfortunate situation.

I'm sure you're not the only one feeling the same way about this. I don't think it would hurt to honestly talk to him and say.. dude I'm not sure if I can afford this, and he'll either help you out with it, or say I understand.

No best friend could blame you if you simply can't afford it.
 
He should pay for the hotel...but dude if he is your best friend you better fricken be there...and have a good time and get drunk...

GO!
 
I would never expect any friends, or even family members, to feel that they had to spend that much money to come to something like a wedding. I'm in college at Erie, PA, and my parents are on the other side of the state, a 355 mile drive. I don't expect them to come to my graduation in 2009. I don't think either of them is up for the long drive just for a short and likely boring ceremoney, which frankly, I'd also prefer to skip if I could.

I guess it always depends on the family. In my house, we all seem to understand that there are limits as to just how much can be reasonably expected of one another. For example, legal troubles - some parents will fight for their children no matter what happened. My mom told me that if I knowingly do something so bad that it lands me in jail, that I need not bother wasting my phonecall to call home, and I think that is a reasonable view. Except maybe if it's something stupid like a marijuana posession charge, but then I guess I'd also have to be stupid enough to get caught.

Or my sister asked me if I could drive her to her college, about 330 miles from home. But she did so knowing full well that it's a long drive and it would inconvenience me greatly. It wasn't just a casual favor, or something that she thought I "owed" her. She would have sought other means of travel were I not available. I did do it though, as I didn't really have anything else that required my time right then.

Yes, we're family, but we're also individuals with our own lives and schedules.
 
If you say he's your best friend, then he must mean something to you, right?

Now, it's really shiitty of him to give you 2-months notice; no argument there.

But you should be there if at all possible. I HATE credit cards, but do you have a CC that you could charge the flight to and worry about paying it off later?

As has been said, maybe he's got relatives that could put you up for two days or so? There's no embarassment in asking!

A $500 plane ticket means that you're pretty far away; forget about driving. By the time you add up gas both ways + rest stops, it's cheaper to fly, not to mention a lot easier on your brain and body.

You should go and worry about being able to buy a new couch later. What's more important, your new couch or your continuing friendship?
 
I wish I had an excuse to miss my best friend's wedding. lol. his fiance strong-armed him into making my ex his best man 🙁

but back to the OP... I would seriously just suck it up and credit card it.
 
Originally posted by: Ameesh
doesnt sound like he is your best friend if you are thinking about this at all!
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Just by the same cred if this guy isn't the groom's best man or a grooms man i don't think the guy thinks this guy is his best friend either.
 
I'm going against the grain of this thread and saying that if you can't afford it, don't go. It's not your fault your best friend decides to have his wedding away from home, and like some actual common sense thinkers in here said, your friend should be paying for you to attend, not the other way around.

You have your own life to worry about right now, not his. If you can figure out a way to attend that is within your means, then be there for your bud. If not, don't put yourself into a bad monetary position because you feel obligated.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that is only a wedding, afterall. Statistics show that he's likely to divorce soon anyway 😛.
 
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