Men: What went wrong?

[bennylong]

Oh, how I wish I was living in the 50's. Where are you, my June Cleaver...

The Good Wife's Guide
From "Housekeeping Monthly", May 13, 1955.

- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about is needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

- Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

- Be happy to see him.

- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.

- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

- Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.

- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

- A good wife always knows her place.

http://www.nomarriage.com/goodwife.jpg

 

[OutHouse]

reminds me of that movie with Julia Roberts where she is a art teacher at some all womens college which actually is a good house wife prep school.

 

[maziwanka]

i thought you were just a nice guy from your "infamous" thread but the more and more posts i read by you the more i think you're just a douche. you just come off sounding like an ass.

plus, i think this is a repost.

 

[Orsorum]

That article is complete bollocks, and any man who wishes for such reverence from his wife desires not a partner, but a slave.

You are responsible for your own happiness. If you feel that the women in your life are treating you poorly, maybe it's time to find different women with whom to spend time.

 

[shortylickens]

We have this issue in OT all the time.
We never discuss anything new.

I'll do a search and come back with some of my better posts.
The most important one about how women dont really want equality.

 

[Atomicus]

Stepford Wife Guide

 

[imported_Trippin315]

My wife makes more than I do. I love it. She makes it and I spend it. sugarmama FTW

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: Citrix
reminds me of that movie with Julia Roberts where she is a art teacher at some all womens college which actually is a good house wife prep school.

Mona Lisa Smile? Yea, that was sad seeing her husband cheat on her while she was being a good wife.

 

[PanzerIV]

Wow, I didn't realize they expected women to be THAT subservient, even in the 50s. I cringed when I read some of those "pointers."

 

[Sphexi]

How did we become a second rate citzen to be used and abused by female?

God gave them breasts and a vagina. End of story.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

nomarriage.com is a collection of some fake and some real stories from the small percentage of people that have no idea what warning signs to look for in a spouse. They ended up with gold-diggers and now tout their experiences as the norm. Considering how many couples get married, the number of stories on there is less than 0.1% of the population.

Also, if you're going to quote an article from the 50's, you might as well go further and quote from earlier times and ask why blacks are allowed to use the same facilities as whites, or why anyone who isn't christian isn't dead yet.

Don't forget, back in the 50's it was very easy for a single person to provide for their family. These days, having both people in the marriage is very common, since rent/bills/food/etc is very expensive.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: PanzerIV
Wow, I didn't realize they expected women to be THAT subservient, even in the 50s. I cringed when I read some of those "pointers."

The article (last I checked Snopes) was of indeterminate origin, at best. I don't think it's real, myself.

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
nomarriage.com is a collection of some fake and some real stories from the small percentage of people that have no idea what warning signs to look for in a spouse. They ended up with gold-diggers and now tout their experiences as the norm. Considering how many couples get married, the number of stories on there is less than 0.1% of the population.

Also, if you're going to quote an article from the 50's, you might as well go further and quote from earlier times and ask why blacks are allowed to use the same facilities as whites, or why anyone who isn't christian isn't dead yet.

Don't forget, back in the 50's it was very easy for a single person to provide for their family. These days, having both people in the marriage is very common, since rent/bills/food/etc is very expensive.

So the government stats of 50% of all marriage today will end in a divorce is a lie? The fact that a woman can take half your assets, your future earnings, and your retirement accounts are lies?

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
nomarriage.com is a collection of some fake and some real stories from the small percentage of people that have no idea what warning signs to look for in a spouse. They ended up with gold-diggers and now tout their experiences as the norm. Considering how many couples get married, the number of stories on there is less than 0.1% of the population.

Also, if you're going to quote an article from the 50's, you might as well go further and quote from earlier times and ask why blacks are allowed to use the same facilities as whites, or why anyone who isn't christian isn't dead yet.

Don't forget, back in the 50's it was very easy for a single person to provide for their family. These days, having both people in the marriage is very common, since rent/bills/food/etc is very expensive.

So the government stats of 50% of all marriage today will end in a divorce is a lie? The fact that a woman can take half your assets, your future earnings, and your retirement accounts are lies?

The marriage failure rate is not solely because of women. Men are as faithless as women; for all the examples of cruel, heartless women that exist, I'm confident I could produce examples of men who did the same. Infidelity is never acceptable; it is a crime which wounds a person at his core, strikes the very essence of his masculinity (or her femininity). But pretending that only women are capable of cheating in a relationship, or ruining a marriage, is pure ignorance.

Given that, I acknowledge that the divorce system in the United States of America is certainly tilted in favor of women. However, there are movements under way which seek to provide true equality for fathers and men, particularly in cases where the female in a heterosexual relationship earns as much or more than the male. The best I (or you, in my opinion) can do is lend my support to those activitists and not grope blindly for straws in the tripe you've posted here.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
nomarriage.com is a collection of some fake and some real stories from the small percentage of people that have no idea what warning signs to look for in a spouse. They ended up with gold-diggers and now tout their experiences as the norm. Considering how many couples get married, the number of stories on there is less than 0.1% of the population.

Also, if you're going to quote an article from the 50's, you might as well go further and quote from earlier times and ask why blacks are allowed to use the same facilities as whites, or why anyone who isn't christian isn't dead yet.

Don't forget, back in the 50's it was very easy for a single person to provide for their family. These days, having both people in the marriage is very common, since rent/bills/food/etc is very expensive.

So the government stats of 50% of all marriage today will end in a divorce is a lie? The fact that a woman can take half your assets, your future earnings, and your retirement accounts are lies?

Infidelity is at an all-time high, from both the males and females. Idiots are getting married at an increased rate simply for tax benefits and realizing later that they don't belong together at all. And the simple fact that women are no longer forced to endure an abusive relationship in silence and required to just "deal with it" adds quite a bit to the mix, since they can now request a divorce instad of being doormats for beatings when their husband comes home angry.

50% divorce rate doesn't suprise me at all. It would have been much higher back then too if we hadn't treated women as slaves.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

 

[HomeAppraiser]

Pleasantville?

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

Yes but every time one of us hateful bastards makes a comment about prenups we get a long lecture from the "love for life" crew about how we shouldnt be getting married if we need a prenup.

My attitude is: They wouldnt exist if we werent losing half our marrieges to divorce.
You can cry maturity all you want. If people were really mature we wouldnt have divorce and prenups would never have existed.
At least the prenup acknowledges human weakness and imperfection. Which is funny because our whole country is based on that. A little thing called checks and balances.

 

[apac]

"You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. "

lol

 

[Nebor]

Basically it's like this:
I don't want to hear them talk, and the law says I can't beat them.

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

Yes but every time one of us hateful bastards makes a comment about prenups we get a long lecture from the "love for life" crew about how we shouldnt be getting married if we need a prenup.

My attitude is: They wouldnt exist if we werent losing half our marrieges to divorce.
You can cry maturity all you want. If people were really mature we wouldnt have divorce and prenups would never have existed.
At least the prenup acknowledges human weakness and imperfection. Which is funny because our whole country is based on that. A little thing called checks and balances.

I think every sensible person today realize that marriage is nothing more than a finanical contract, and those that don't protect their financial contract by getting a pre-nup will get up getting screwed. Look at Paul McCarthy! Love? Dude is going to lose Hundreds of millions for 2 years of marriage.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

Yes but every time one of us hateful bastards makes a comment about prenups we get a long lecture from the "love for life" crew about how we shouldnt be getting married if we need a prenup.

My attitude is: They wouldnt exist if we werent losing half our marrieges to divorce.
You can cry maturity all you want. If people were really mature we wouldnt have divorce and prenups would never have existed.
At least the prenup acknowledges human weakness and imperfection. Which is funny because our whole country is based on that. A little thing called checks and balances.

I think every sensible person today realize that marriage is nothing more than a finanical contract, and those that don't protect their financial contract by getting a pre-nup will get up getting screwed. Look at Paul McCarthy! Love? Dude is going to lose Hundreds of millions for 2 years of marriage.

this kind of attitude does make me sad.

marriage isn't just a financial contract.

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: maziwanka

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

Yes but every time one of us hateful bastards makes a comment about prenups we get a long lecture from the "love for life" crew about how we shouldnt be getting married if we need a prenup.

My attitude is: They wouldnt exist if we werent losing half our marrieges to divorce.
You can cry maturity all you want. If people were really mature we wouldnt have divorce and prenups would never have existed.
At least the prenup acknowledges human weakness and imperfection. Which is funny because our whole country is based on that. A little thing called checks and balances.

I think every sensible person today realize that marriage is nothing more than a finanical contract, and those that don't protect their financial contract by getting a pre-nup will get up getting screwed. Look at Paul McCarthy! Love? Dude is going to lose Hundreds of millions for 2 years of marriage.

this kind of attitude does make me sad.

marriage isn't just a financial contract.

Why get married then? You can do everything you can as a couple without being married.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: maziwanka

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

Yes but every time one of us hateful bastards makes a comment about prenups we get a long lecture from the "love for life" crew about how we shouldnt be getting married if we need a prenup.

My attitude is: They wouldnt exist if we werent losing half our marrieges to divorce.
You can cry maturity all you want. If people were really mature we wouldnt have divorce and prenups would never have existed.
At least the prenup acknowledges human weakness and imperfection. Which is funny because our whole country is based on that. A little thing called checks and balances.

I think every sensible person today realize that marriage is nothing more than a finanical contract, and those that don't protect their financial contract by getting a pre-nup will get up getting screwed. Look at Paul McCarthy! Love? Dude is going to lose Hundreds of millions for 2 years of marriage.

this kind of attitude does make me sad.

marriage isn't just a financial contract.

Why get married then? You can do everything you can as a couple without being married.

im not really sure how to put an answer to that question into words. its just the ultimate manifestation of love, in a sense.

if you're fortunate enough to find someone that you can spend the rest of your life with and things just click, then marriage is the ultimate expression of that commitment

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: maziwanka

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Also: if you're worried about your future wife raping you in the courtroom for alimony, sign a prenup. Ignorance = stupidity, and if she loves you enough to marry you "for life" then it shouldn't be a problem for her to sign the paper "just in case"

Yes but every time one of us hateful bastards makes a comment about prenups we get a long lecture from the "love for life" crew about how we shouldnt be getting married if we need a prenup.

My attitude is: They wouldnt exist if we werent losing half our marrieges to divorce.
You can cry maturity all you want. If people were really mature we wouldnt have divorce and prenups would never have existed.
At least the prenup acknowledges human weakness and imperfection. Which is funny because our whole country is based on that. A little thing called checks and balances.

I think every sensible person today realize that marriage is nothing more than a finanical contract, and those that don't protect their financial contract by getting a pre-nup will get up getting screwed. Look at Paul McCarthy! Love? Dude is going to lose Hundreds of millions for 2 years of marriage.

this kind of attitude does make me sad.
marriage isn't just a financial contract.

I'll try to acknowledge the depth of your feelings here and not be crass.
I think what you really believe is that marriage shouldnt be just a contract.

But I consider myself a realist and I think that it really is.
Seriously, the way things are in the U.S. you dont HAVE to be married to be in love, or live together, or make babies.
So why do it?
The security or the commitment?
Again let us go back to the divorce rate and god-know how many people are in a marriage and not happy.
Its seems to me there is no commitment anymore. Its so damn easy to get out of it.
I hear folks on AT argue all time, marriage is a bond for life and all sorts of other good stuff. But if so many people really dont believe it anymore (and its obvious to me they dont) then why do we keep doing it at all?

The happiest couple I know never even considered getting married. They acknowledged their love and left it at that. They know that marriage really is just a contract and everything else is not promised, expressed or implied. Its assumed.
And for those of us who had time in the military, assume is a dirty word.

That couple I know has a 12 year old boy and they are all very happy. I suspect its because they never deluded themselves with soap-opera fantasies.

Thats what I want. I just want to be in love. And I believe it could make me happy. But I also know that the average girl wont settle for that. Sooner or later she'll want commitment. Which (like I said above) is bullshiat. Because a piece of paper signed by a judge doesnt make you any more commited. You have it in you whether you sign or not. That paper isnt magic, it doesnt solve problems or make people more mature.