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meeting a catholic pastor about divorce (what to expect)

S

Semidevil

Diamond Member
so brief situation, I will be marrying a catholic girl in a few months and we plan to have our ceremony at her church. Apparently, for catholics, there's a process that needs to go through, and for me, I need to meet with the pastor to 'talk about my divorce.' I'm curious what this process is like and what the conversation is going to be..

So just a brief background, I got married when I was young and divorced 4 years later. The pastor asked me my age at that time, I said I was 21. He asked me my religion and her religion at the time, and I said 'none.'

Right now, I'm not affiliated with any religion, but I am going to the church with my soon to be wife and learning about it.

So really, this conversation with the pastor about my divorce. What is it, and what is the purpose? Is there a way for me to 'fail' and he won't let us get married at the church? what should i expect from this?
 
Tell him she worshipped a pagan religion and that you divorced her after discovering a box of hair clippings while investigating your suspicions when you caught her completing what appeared to be a blood sacrifice to Cthulhu. To explain away your "none" response, tell him you didn't believe you would be safe from her dark magic outside of the confines of a church.
 
They may not allow you to be married in the Catholic church if you had a previous Catholic wedding. If it was a "Justice of the Peace" type thing you may be OK.
 
You're going to end up having to go to weeks worth of lessons for about to be married couples.
 
Fritzo said:
They may not allow you to be married in the Catholic church if you had a previous Catholic wedding. If it was a "Justice of the Peace" type thing you may be OK.
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brainhulk said:
No way for you to fail, they need paying members. It is meeting to brainwash you
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Azraele said:
Just be open and honest. 🙂
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This.

Catholics are supposed to take marriage very seriously. My mom did not go to communion for 25 years nor marry my dad by the Church until his first wife passed away.

This one is for life.
 
I suppose I would expect to be spoken to in an appraising and mildly judgmental manner while being required to give responses that would indicate that I was taking this marriage seriously.
 
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Just understand this. Most spiritual people are delightful to be around and genuinely care about other people. You are not going to the principal's office. If you love her, everything will be fine. If you end up divorced, everything will still be fine.

Just try to enjoy it and be authentic.
 
Christianity takes marriage very seriously. That doesn't mean we're perfect at it, but he's going to go over the sanctity of marriage. He's going to go over God's plan for you as a husband, and the importance of loving, supporting, and pleasing your wife in fullness. Many churches also do a lot of marriage counseling, so they have real-life experience with dealing with the challenges as well as mending of hearts of a marriage as a whole.

So overall, nothing you should be afraid of. Even if you're not a believer, I think you'll find the Christian viewpoint of a husband and wife being faithful, loving, patient, and supportive of each other to be pretty sound. 🙂
 
Tell him your view of marriage is skewed because when you were a child you were molested by a Catholic priest. Stare at the guy for 30 seconds and tell him he looks familiar, then demand he provide evidence of what parish he was working at 20 years ago. You'll be out of there inside 2 minutes.
 
Ventanni said:
Christianity takes marriage very seriously. That doesn't mean we're perfect at it, but he's going to go over the sanctity of marriage. He's going to go over God's plan for you as a husband, and the importance of loving, supporting, and pleasing your wife in fullness. Many churches also do a lot of marriage counseling, so they have real-life experience with dealing with the challenges as well as mending of hearts of a marriage as a whole.

So overall, nothing you should be afraid of. Even if you're not a believer, I think you'll find the Christian viewpoint of a husband and wife being faithful, loving, patient, and supportive of each other to be pretty sound. 🙂
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You sure you're reading the right bible? 😛
 
You'll need to take a pre - cana workshop. The priest is simply trying to make sure you both have considered and talked about the hard questions of marriage ie. money, sex, children, politics, decision making, children etc. It's important and will improve your relationship however, it is not comfortable.
 
He will throw a bunch of rocks and pebbles leading up to altar and on your knees you will need to crawl up to the altar. If you make it, then you can get married, after a slight donation of course.
 
GrumpyMan said:
He will throw a bunch of rocks and pebbles leading up to altar and on your knees you will need to crawl up to the altar. If you make it, then you can get married, after a slight donation of course.
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Why do I get the impression you're not old enough to have seen Kojac in anything but reruns?
 
Ha! I've seen them all when they aired. I like his characters that he's played in his lifetime and I look exactly like him. Which is why I use his image as an avatar. Back on topic please.....
 
Been there, my wife was raised a Catholic, when we went to get married after she was raised a Catholic we had the wedding elsewhere.

Her Italian mother doesn't even deal with the Catholic church anymore after certain issues in the past.
 
Pr0d1gy said:
Just understand this. Most spiritual people are delightful to be around and genuinely care about other people. You are not going to the principal's office. If you love her, everything will be fine. If you end up divorced, everything will still be fine.

Just try to enjoy it and be authentic.
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Thank you. The priest is going to be happy for your decision and will be enthusiastic about your union. However, as mentioned, Catholics take marriage VERY seriously, and the priest is just going to get a feel if the marriage is going to be compatible with church rules. There will be no "brainwashing", shaming, or anything of the like. You'll most likely come out of the meeting with a new friend 🙂
 
The catholic church doesn't have pastors. Usually to remarry within the catholic church you need to have an annulment, but this shouldn't be a problem if your previous wedding was non-catholic. You will have to formerly adopt catholicism, get confirmed, etc, and go through pre-marriage counseling with the would-be spouse.

I'm guessing you're non-religious due simply to a lack of former religious influence, and not based upon rational conviction, but if you value integrity and honesty then maybe you shouldn't be pretending to adopt her religion just to marry her. Even if she's in on it, and she's insisting on it because of her parents, you will still have to lie to them as well as the priest and church. But if you are actually keen on buying into all that nonsense, and aren't doing it just for the marriage ceremony, then i suppose that's merely stupid and not necessarily unethical.
 
Better listen to the catholic pastor. They're like the masters of getting marriages and relationships to work.
 
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