meeting a catholic pastor about divorce (what to expect)

[squarecut1]

Just understand this. Most spiritual people are delightful to be around and genuinely care about other people.

That has been my experience too, regardless of the type of faith

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Thank god my wife wasn't raised Catholic, because this is something I'd never do.

 

[preCRT]

Give me a break, what religion doesn't take marriage seriously?

 

[preslove]

You're going to end up having to go to weeks worth of lessons for about to be married couples.

Yup. All under the authority of men who can't be married & have no real family planning, sexual health training. If you're an atheist, you'll probably be given theological lessons that obscure the true history of the church, which you can get from school, or reading on your own.

Get ready to get hosed and to just go along with it. Lay catholics can be great people and tend to disagree with the vatican, depending on what type of pope is wearing the slippers. If you don't call the priest on his bullshit, you should get through it. I assume that the fact that you didn't go through a catholic/christian wedding might allow them to get around your previous marriage.

Good luck & congrats.

 

[MongGrel]

The catholic church doesn't have pastors. Usually to remarry within the catholic church you need to have an annulment, but this shouldn't be a problem if your previous wedding was non-catholic. You will have to formerly adopt catholicism, get confirmed, etc, and go through pre-marriage counseling with the would-be spouse.

Kinda wondered about that when I saw it myself, I was raised in a Lutheran church and wasn't aware Catholics had Pastors.

On top of my wife going through her schooling at the time and someone saying she hadn't unless X amount of money was paid at the time, and the fact I'd been divorced twice prior, the Catholic wedding wasn't happening as they wouldn't do it at the main Altar or something.

And now we've been married over 20 years, go figure.

It's more who than what most of the time.

 

[Jadow]

it's Priest. BTW

 

[MtnMan]

He's going to blow a whole bunch of bull shit from his buy bull up your backside.

Seeking help about a marriage from a celibate man (except for the little boys) that believes in invisible sky daddies that live in the sky, is about as stupid as it gets.

 

[MtnMan]

Christianity takes marriage very seriously. That doesn't mean we're perfect at it,

Yes, but realize that christianity, and the other major cults are based on the ignorance of ancient goat herders that believe the sun was carried across the sky in a chariot every day.

 

[MongGrel]

it's Priest. BTW

Yeah calling him a Pastor to his face might be a bad start to begin with

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Uuuuuuuuuuuggggggh. D:

That's what I think.

 

[Fritzo]

Yup. All under the authority of men who can't be married & have no real family planning, sexual health training. If you're an atheist, you'll probably be given theological lessons that obscure the true history of the church, which you can get from school, or reading on your own.

Get ready to get hosed and to just go along with it. Lay catholics can be great people and tend to disagree with the vatican, depending on what type of pope is wearing the slippers. If you don't call the priest on his bullshit, you should get through it. I assume that the fact that you didn't go through a catholic/christian wedding might allow them to get around your previous marriage.

Good luck & congrats.

Wow. Get over yourself. People will enjoy talking to you more.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

The catholic church doesn't have pastors.

BZZT! Wrong.

Catholics do have pastors, but it's a different position than in other faiths. In some religions or even in some offshoots of Christianity a pastor is below a priest, they don't take the same vows or have the same restrictions regarding gender or marriage. For Catholics the pastor is a higher position, it's the head priest in a given parish. Not only does a pastor exist, he outranks the other priests who serve in that parish.

 

[poofyhairguy]

Even if she's in on it, and she's insisting on it because of her parents, you will still have to lie to them as well as the priest and church.

I think a healthy part of any new marriage is learning to placate family and their irrational demands.

 

[MongGrel]

Heh, I showed my wife this thread and all kinds of stories popped out.

I told her to sit down and type for an hour but she's watching the movie I'm running on the side and don't need a wall of text anyway.

 

[MongGrel]

BZZT! Wrong.

Catholics do have pastors, but it's a different position than in other faiths. In some religions or even in some offshoots of Christianity a pastor is below a priest, they don't take the same vows or have the same restrictions regarding gender or marriage. For Catholics the pastor is a higher position, it's the head priest in a given parish. Not only does a pastor exist, he outranks the other priests who serve in that parish.

Usually Protestant, but *shrug*

Pastor

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastor

 

[IndyColtsFan]

When you go through these "classes," don't you also have to agree that any kids will be raised Catholic?

 

[Fritzo]

When you go through these "classes," don't you also have to agree that any kids will be raised Catholic?

Not really.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

When you go through these "classes," don't you also have to agree that any kids will be raised Catholic?

I'm sure the priest would prefer that but, no. Pre-cana focuses on communication and finding ways to make decisions. Speaking about religion and beliefs is one of the hard questions of marriage though and is covered in the workshop. I believe everyone who intends to get married should participate in a pre -cana no matter what their beliefs are regarding religion. The high divorce rate is ample evidence that few couples do their homework.

 

[justoh]

BZZT! Wrong.

Catholics do have pastors, but it's a different position than in other faiths. In some religions or even in some offshoots of Christianity a pastor is below a priest, they don't take the same vows or have the same restrictions regarding gender or marriage. For Catholics the pastor is a higher position, it's the head priest in a given parish. Not only does a pastor exist, he outranks the other priests who serve in that parish.

Alright. We called them "parish priests" where I'm from, and i've never heard of them being referred to as pastors, but thanks for the correction.

 

[tommo123]

The catholic church doesn't have pastors. Usually to remarry within the catholic church you need to have an annulment, but this shouldn't be a problem if your previous wedding was non-catholic. You will have to formerly adopt catholicism, get confirmed, etc, and go through pre-marriage counseling with the would-be spouse.

I'm guessing you're non-religious due simply to a lack of former religious influence, and not based upon rational conviction, but if you value integrity and honesty then maybe you shouldn't be pretending to adopt her religion just to marry her. Even if she's in on it, and she's insisting on it because of her parents, you will still have to lie to them as well as the priest and church. But if you are actually keen on buying into all that nonsense, and aren't doing it just for the marriage ceremony, then i suppose that's merely stupid and not necessarily unethical.

not related to OP but i'm curious. how does this work if an atheist and a catholic marry but the atheist makes it clear they won't become a catholic. you'd have no problem with your wife still being one but you won't have anything to do with it ^_^

 

[justoh]

not related to OP but i'm curious. how does this work if an atheist and a catholic marry but the atheist makes it clear they won't become a catholic. you'd have no problem with your wife still being one but you won't have anything to do with it ^_^

I don't understand the question. non-catholics can't have a catholic wedding.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I'm sure the priest would prefer that but, no. Pre-cana focuses on communication and finding ways to make decisions. Speaking about religion and beliefs is one of the hard questions of marriage though and is covered in the workshop. I believe everyone who intends to get married should participate in a pre -cana no matter what their beliefs are regarding religion. The high divorce rate is ample evidence that few couples do their homework.

I'm not sure why it would be hard to speak about your religious beliefs to the person you're marrying. In my case, I made it clear to my wife-to-be that I was not religious and would not attend church because of how I view organized religion. She was fine with that and it didn't prevent us from getting married.

 

[tommo123]

I don't understand the question. non-catholics can't have a catholic wedding.

ah, so if she wanted a catholic wedding she couldn't unless I lie my ass off and say i'll convert etc?

 

[Fritzo]

ah, so if she wanted a catholic wedding she couldn't unless I lie my ass off and say i'll convert etc?

Just convert and be like the rest of us Catholics: go to church on Easter and Christmas Eve, and maybe show up at a couple of festivals and eat some awesome food ^_^

 

[FelixDeCat]

I'm not sure why it would be hard to speak about your religious beliefs to the person you're marrying. In my case, I made it clear to my wife-to-be that I was not religious and would not attend church because of how I view organized religion. She was fine with that and it didn't prevent us from getting married.

Im almost certain she is praying one day you will join her at mass, just like all the other couples she sees there. But its up to you.