Me: 1 Neighbor: 0

[Fritzo]

We had a bunch of snow Friday night/Sat. morning, and I was lazy and didn't shovel my driveway or sidewalk yesterday.

I went out and did it today, and as my neighbor was pulling out of his driveway said in a snotty voice "I wondered what happened over there! I was about to come shovel that for you!"

I shouted back "I was going to do this yesterday, but all of those Christmas lights I took down LAST MONTH were on top of my snow shovel!"

The neighbor shook his head and drove away at his usual 13 MPH.

(He still has his lights up....and it's Feb 7th)

 

[nick1985]

I love me a good zinger

 

[Matthiasa]

4.5-5/10

 

[nick1985]

4.5-5/10

Thats easily a 7/10. His neighber is left with no comeback, and is forced to drive away knowing he's been had.

 

[Cheeseplug]

All you have to do now is set his house on fire and you win!

 

[Lean L]

ehh. did you do his wife? if not, he's the one who's laughing

 

[pyonir]

Now you should shovel all that snow into his driveway.

 

[Scouzer]

All you have to do now is set his house on fire and you win!

no he has to have sex with the neighbour's wife first, then set the house on fire

 

[rudeguy]

I don't get it...is he a jerk for doing 13MPH? Is that too slow? Too fast? What kind of car does he drive? Is it something 4 wheel drive? Does he have any cats? How old is his daughter?

 

[dwell]

Did you really say that, or is this one of those "jerk store" situations?

 

[Miramonti]

i love me a good zinger

/\
||

 

[ChaoZ]

I don't get it.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Haha, but who goes out in the cold and snow to take Christmas lights off anyway? Most people here take them off in June/July when the snow is gone. Lot of people actually just leave them all year round, but the bulbs fade over time from the sun so I prefer to take them off.

 

[Tristicus]

No.

 

[F1N3ST]

:awe: He's gonna get payback though D:

 

[Fritzo]

no he has to have sex with the neighbour's wife first, then set the house on fire

Actually I wouldn't mind that. She's got a serious crater face but a smokin' body. That's why god invented paper bags though.

 

[Matthiasa]

Thats easily a 7/10. His neighber is left with no comeback, and is forced to drive away knowing he's been had.

At tops its a 6 I'm just giving a conservative estimate, and it's a common occurrence.

 

[Fritzo]

I don't get it...is he a jerk for doing 13MPH? Is that too slow? Too fast? What kind of car does he drive? Is it something 4 wheel drive? Does he have any cats? How old is his daughter?

No, he just drives really slow. I usually get stuck behind him on the way to work. He's just a stereotypical sitcom know-it-all neighbor.

 

[fantolay]

Haha great story. You're neighbor got smoked. He started off by being a huge asshole to you, and in return got made fun of for looking goofy with lights still up.

 

[Fritzo]

Did you really say that, or is this one of those "jerk store" situations?

Nope, true story. This guy is about 5'4" (I'm 6'4") and he has a little man complex. He works out all the time, he built a freakin Roman Pantheon in his back yard out of patio blocks, and likes to make sure everyone knows he's the #1 best. He plays sports with his son every minute he's not jogging, working on his lawn, or washing his car with his shirt off so everyone can see his 6 pack. Their family is only allowed to watch the news, sports, or educational shows on TV, and his son has to be outside if the sun is out (he always comes over to get his son if my boy--or anyone else---goes indoors with him during the day).

Not sure what's wrong with the guy, but MAN is he trying too hard.

 

[tyler811]

Haha, but who goes out in the cold and snow to take Christmas lights off anyway? Most people here take them off in June/July when the snow is gone. Lot of people actually just leave them all year round, but the bulbs fade over time from the sun so I prefer to take them off.

Your avatar looks like an inflamed vagina

 

[DrPizza]

Fritzo?! You live next door to me?!
<maybe I should take down those Christmas lights. No, on second thought, forget that - it's too cold outside.>

 

[RoloMather]

Nope, true story. This guy is about 5'4" (I'm 6'4") and he has a little man complex. He works out all the time, he built a freakin Roman Pantheon in his back yard out of patio blocks, and likes to make sure everyone knows he's the #1 best. He plays sports with his son every minute he's not jogging, working on his lawn, or washing his car with his shirt off so everyone can see his 6 pack. Their family is only allowed to watch the news, sports, or educational shows on TV, and his son has to be outside if the sun is out (he always comes over to get his son if my boy--or anyone else---goes indoors with him during the day).

Not sure what's wrong with the guy, but MAN is he trying too hard.

I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[Fritzo]

I see nothing wrong with that.

C'mon. The poor kid got reamed last summer for watching Spongebob at a neighbors house. You can't grow up too sheltered like that.

 

[Taejin]

C'mon. The poor kid got reamed last summer for watching Spongebob at a neighbors house. You can't grow up too sheltered like that.

There's still nothing wrong with it.