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Maybe my wife is the only one...

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Dude, reading your post the answer's pretty obvious.....I kinda sorta can't believe you don't get it......

Man, was I this thick with all of my ex's??

Anyway, she just wanted you to take care of her, pamper her, make her feel better, or feel like you'd do whatever to get her through it.

She wasn't mad per se that she had to do these things herself, just that you didn't get the subtle hint that she'd love it if you did it for her. Women aren't direct creatures like us men.

Now, a cold is no big deal to you or I, but to most (most, not all) women it's an excuse to age back a notch or two emotionally and have someone tend to them like their mommy or daddy did. Do I think it's a good idea, no. But if it makes her happy, which in turn keeps life kosher for you, then is moving sprinklers and filling humidifiers such a big thing to ask?

Ask her if I'm wrong, I'll bet I'm not.
 
Originally posted by: child of wonder
Originally posted by: JEDI
Originally posted by: child of wonder
My wife has a cold. Last night we watched some TV downstairs together. After a bit she decided to call it a night early. I had some work to do from home for my job so I told her I'd be up in a couple hours.

As she got up to leave she asks me if I can come upstairs and help her set up the humidifier in our room to help clear her sinuses.

"Help?" I asked. "What do you want help with? It just needs to be filled with water."

"Then can you just do it for me? I'm going to go to the bathroom."

"OK," I say. "I'll be up in a few minutes."

5 minutes go by and I head upstairs to find her filling it up herself. I take it away from her and say I was going to do it. Now she's mad.

Fast forward to this morning. I still have a lot of work to do and have to go into work this afternoon to move some servers. We also need to mow the lawn. Earlier in the week she volunteered to do it herself which is a big help so I can get my work done.

"Will you help me move the sprinklers?" she asks.

We have a temporary irrigation system set up since we had the lawn seeded. It's just a network of rainbird sprinklers connected with garden hoses. To move one, they simply need to be lifted up and carried somewhere else.

"When I mowed the yard last time I didn't need any help moving them," I said.

"Whatever. Fine. I'll just move them."

"I don't understand why you need help to move them. It's really simple. As you mow and come up to one, just pick it up and move it."

Again, she is peeved.

Why do women ask for help for the smallest little things? My wife does this frequently.

Are they really that incapable or do they just like seeing us jump through hoops?
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get a new wife.
hotter.
younger.
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But this one is only a 1983 model! Are those out of date already?
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We would need pics to determine that. 😉
 
Originally posted by: vi edit
At least your wife asks. Mine just looks at something and says something obvious.

Examples....
"The dog's water is low."
"The oven is still on.".
"The baby needs a diaper change."

...Ok. So do it?

Ect.
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I always remind mine that I'm not a psychic. Can't read your mind. Either tell me what you want or forget it. And I bought her the book "Proper care and feeding of Husbands", that helped too!
 
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Dude, reading your post the answer's pretty obvious.....I kinda sorta can't believe you don't get it......

Man, was I this thick with all of my ex's??

Anyway, she just wanted you to take care of her, pamper her, make her feel better, or feel like you'd do whatever to get her through it.

She wasn't mad per se that she had to do these things herself, just that you didn't get the subtle hint that she'd love it if you did it for her. Women aren't direct creatures like us men.

Now, a cold is no big deal to you or I, but to most (most, not all) women it's an excuse to age back a notch or two emotionally and have someone tend to them like their mommy or daddy did. Do I think it's a good idea, no. But if it makes her happy, which in turn keeps life kosher for you, then is moving sprinklers and filling humidifiers such a big thing to ask?

Ask her if I'm wrong, I'll bet I'm not.
Click to expand...

asking for help implies that you can't do it yourself, and you need someone else in addition. clearly, those simple tasks only require 1 person.

if his wife said "hey, can you do _____ for me quickly?" then it's completely different because she's asking for a favor, not for help.
 
Originally posted by: WingZero94
Women love the feeling that somebody is taking care of them. Do it - there may be plenty of nights where you need some "help" and she doesn't necessarily feel like "helping" but does anyways.... if you get my drift.
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Originally posted by: nick1985
Vaginas are wierd
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Two of the best responses and explanations so far.
 
Originally posted by: chusteczka
She wants your time and attention. It seems that she feels she is not getting enough of your attention.
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It was said a couple different ways already; this is the answer.
 
Maybe you should talk to her about it.

Not the her asking you for help thing. Aren't you supposed to be the one to help her? If she is one of those women who likes to ask for your help with little things, shouldn't you have known it before you married her? Did you maybe start your relationship by offering to help in many small ways and she is just continuing that?

The thing you should talk to her about is the fact that you have other things that have to be done first, important things like for work. But don't expect her to take any sympathy if you spend your time dicking around "at work" and then "don't have time" for the other stuff.

Bottom line is it sounds like you two don't communicate well and are building up small 'twigs' between you. I call them twigs because if there are just a couple built-up (i.e. just the humidifier & just the law mowing), then you can talk about them and "snap the twigs" so they aren't a long term problem. But imagine if you are actually holding a thick bundle of twigs in your hand and try to snap them - considerably more difficult, if not impossible, than when there were only a couple twigs. I think you see my point.

Good luck
 
Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Maybe you should talk to her about it.

Not the her asking you for help thing. Aren't you supposed to be the one to help her? If she is one of those women who likes to ask for your help with little things, shouldn't you have known it before you married her? Did you maybe start your relationship by offering to help in many small ways and she is just continuing that?

The thing you should talk to her about is the fact that you have other things that have to be done first, important things like for work. But don't expect her to take any sympathy if you spend your time dicking around "at work" and then "don't have time" for the other stuff.

Bottom line is it sounds like you two don't communicate well and are building up small 'twigs' between you. I call them twigs because if there are just a couple built-up (i.e. just the humidifier & just the law mowing), then you can talk about them and "snap the twigs" so they aren't a long term problem. But imagine if you are actually holding a thick bundle of twigs in your hand and try to snap them - considerably more difficult, if not impossible, than when there were only a couple twigs. I think you see my point.

Good luck
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Woah...a real response.
 
Originally posted by: nick1985
Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Maybe you should talk to her about it.

Not the her asking you for help thing. Aren't you supposed to be the one to help her? If she is one of those women who likes to ask for your help with little things, shouldn't you have known it before you married her? Did you maybe start your relationship by offering to help in many small ways and she is just continuing that?

The thing you should talk to her about is the fact that you have other things that have to be done first, important things like for work. But don't expect her to take any sympathy if you spend your time dicking around "at work" and then "don't have time" for the other stuff.

Bottom line is it sounds like you two don't communicate well and are building up small 'twigs' between you. I call them twigs because if there are just a couple built-up (i.e. just the humidifier & just the law mowing), then you can talk about them and "snap the twigs" so they aren't a long term problem. But imagine if you are actually holding a thick bundle of twigs in your hand and try to snap them - considerably more difficult, if not impossible, than when there were only a couple twigs. I think you see my point.

Good luck
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Woah...a real response.
Click to expand...

I'm sensing an actual relationship counselor has entered the topic, given the type of language he's using (and that lame twig thing)

In any case, it's good advice. Either help your wife all the time or talk about it with her.
 
Originally posted by: nick1985
Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Maybe you should talk to her about it.

Not the her asking you for help thing. Aren't you supposed to be the one to help her? If she is one of those women who likes to ask for your help with little things, shouldn't you have known it before you married her? Did you maybe start your relationship by offering to help in many small ways and she is just continuing that?

The thing you should talk to her about is the fact that you have other things that have to be done first, important things like for work. But don't expect her to take any sympathy if you spend your time dicking around "at work" and then "don't have time" for the other stuff.

Bottom line is it sounds like you two don't communicate well and are building up small 'twigs' between you. I call them twigs because if there are just a couple built-up (i.e. just the humidifier & just the law mowing), then you can talk about them and "snap the twigs" so they aren't a long term problem. But imagine if you are actually holding a thick bundle of twigs in your hand and try to snap them - considerably more difficult, if not impossible, than when there were only a couple twigs. I think you see my point.

Good luck
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Woah...a real response.
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Yeah, there's always one of these in every thread ruining it for the rest of us.
 
My mom pulled this shit all the time. She actually wanted help with the things that weren't utterly trivial to do herself, though. But she would often get pissy at me, my brother, and my dad for not doing something when she thought we should have known to do it on our own (without telling us). In other words, she'd get mad at us for not reading her mind. I'm so glad I'm not living at home anymore. I think this is just something that happens when women have been married for a little while.
 
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Dude, reading your post the answer's pretty obvious.....I kinda sorta can't believe you don't get it......

Man, was I this thick with all of my ex's??

Anyway, she just wanted you to take care of her, pamper her, make her feel better, or feel like you'd do whatever to get her through it.

She wasn't mad per se that she had to do these things herself, just that you didn't get the subtle hint that she'd love it if you did it for her. Women aren't direct creatures like us men.

Now, a cold is no big deal to you or I, but to most (most, not all) women it's an excuse to age back a notch or two emotionally and have someone tend to them like their mommy or daddy did. Do I think it's a good idea, no. But if it makes her happy, which in turn keeps life kosher for you, then is moving sprinklers and filling humidifiers such a big thing to ask?

Ask her if I'm wrong, I'll bet I'm not.
Click to expand...



And we have a winner!
 
Originally posted by: her209
Originally posted by: WingZero94
Women love the feeling that somebody is taking care of them. Do it - there may be plenty of nights where you need some "help" and she doesn't necessarily feel like "helping" but does anyways.... if you get my drift.
Click to expand...
And yet they get upset when you watch porn.
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surprisingly true lol 😛
 
Sounds like she's just really feeling under the weather. I can't speak for
her but I think the last thing I'd want to do with clogged sinuses is mow
the lawn but I also have allergies.
 
Originally posted by: chusteczka
She wants your time and attention. It seems that she feels she is not getting enough of your attention.
Click to expand...

BULL S*#& !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's see how much attention she can get when you loose your job and don't have any money to pay the bills, loose the house, and live in a card board box, lots of together time then looking though dumpsters for food.

Ok really I understand mine does this kind of thing all the time, and just chalk it up to the fact that they are women, and by the way don't spout off the smart ASS remark that I did eailer it really won't help anything.
 
Originally posted by: HaiBiss
Originally posted by: chusteczka
She wants your time and attention. It seems that she feels she is not getting enough of your attention.
Click to expand...

BULL S*#& !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's see how much attention she can get when you loose your job and don't have any money to pay the bills, loose the house, and live in a card board box, lots of together time then looking though dumpsters for food.

Ok really I understand mine does this kind of thing all the time, and just chalk it up to the fact that they are women, and by the way don't spout off the smart ASS remark that I did eailer it really won't help anything.
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...easy big fella'
 
Originally posted by: Captante
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Dude, reading your post the answer's pretty obvious.....I kinda sorta can't believe you don't get it......

Man, was I this thick with all of my ex's??

Anyway, she just wanted you to take care of her, pamper her, make her feel better, or feel like you'd do whatever to get her through it.

She wasn't mad per se that she had to do these things herself, just that you didn't get the subtle hint that she'd love it if you did it for her. Women aren't direct creatures like us men.

Now, a cold is no big deal to you or I, but to most (most, not all) women it's an excuse to age back a notch or two emotionally and have someone tend to them like their mommy or daddy did. Do I think it's a good idea, no. But if it makes her happy, which in turn keeps life kosher for you, then is moving sprinklers and filling humidifiers such a big thing to ask?

Ask her if I'm wrong, I'll bet I'm not.
Click to expand...



And we have a winner!
Click to expand...


um no we have a beat down man that keeps his in a jar above the fridge
 
Are you ATOT guys trying to start a fight in my house? 🙂

Seriously though, all of that does sound very familiar. I have often been guilty of the same thing. So no, your wife isn?t the only one. Thankfully, MrPickins is generally smart enough to realize the moments when he should just humor me and the moments when he should tell me to do it myself. Over an eight year relationship, five of those married, we?ve had this fight.

In the end the problem is that she?s talking like a woman, and you?re listening like a man. She?s couching her requests in passive language, and you?re responding to what she?s saying instead of what she means.

Also?you should be more sensitive to your wife with a summer cold, which is bound to make anyone miserable. How long would it take to do the simple things she asked? It sounded like she was still going to mow the lawn.
 
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