A small collection from me, largely math related, and may need some background to understand, let me know if you want explanation:
Who assimilates in Star Trek:
a) Sampras
b) Borg
c) Lendl
If a religion is defined to be a system of ideas that contains unprovable
statements, then Godel taught us that mathematics is not only a religion,
it is the only religion that can prove itself to be one. -- John Barrow
"Our paper became a monograph. When we had completed the details, we
rewrote everything so that no one could tell how we came upon our ideas or
why. This is the standard in mathematics."
--David Berlinski, "Black Mischief" (1988).
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
-- Robert Coveyou
When asked what it was like to set about proving something, the
mathematician likened proving a theorem to seeing the peak of a mountain
and trying to climb to the top. One establishes a base camp and begins
scaling the mountain's sheer face, encountering obstacles at every turn,
often retracing one's steps and struggling every foot of the
journey. Finally when the top is reached, one stands examining the peak,
taking in the view of the surrounding countryside and then noting the
automobile road up the other side!
Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The
Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples
looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus
mean - the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9? Peter
said, "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."
One time the famous mathematician Kurt Gödel was to a restaurant, and
when one of the waitresses went by, he started slapping her ass. Then she
told him to stop it, and then he said: Don't worry, I'm just checking the
consistency.
Q - do you know a good anagram of "banach-tarski" ?
A - banach-tarski banach-tarski
Q. What is grey and huge and has integer coefficients?
A. An elephantine equation.
A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with
drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher:
Mrs. ___, I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statistics, but
graphing is where I draw the line!
Q: What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice.
A: Zorn's Lemon.
Q: What's yellow, linear, normed and complete?
A: A Bananach space.
Q: How do you make one burn?
A: Differentiate a log fire.
What did Pythagoras say when he was confronted by the square root of 2?
"Now there has to be a rational explanation for this..."
If you see a plant distributed as a^n*e^-a/n!,
better don't touch it. It's a Poisson Ivy.
The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This
also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers
Complex numbers are all fun and games until someone loses an i.
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