What's so pathetic about it? Does everybody know immediately if the person they're with is the person they want to spend a lifetime with? And even if by chance you do KNOW the relationship won't be anything more, what's wrong with that? As long as you're not leading the other person, and the relationship is consensual, i see nothing wrong or 'pathetic' about it.
I've known a lot of women who are dead-set against getting into any kind of serious relationship, but still wanted their share of casual ones, so that's one common reason. Then there are plenty of people who feel they need to be with *somebody*, and they won't go too long without picking out at least a temporary partner to tide them over until they meet someone they're actually interested in.
i knew my husband was the one pretty early on in the relationship. for me, it just was a feeling. i saw no cons to marriage (and i still don't).
the b/f fell in love with me on ....hour two, date one...
6yrs later... he still wants to marry me, and i am not into getting married. we own a home together, take care of VeggieFrog and rescue kitties together.
that is enough for me right now.
6yrs later... he still wants to marry me, and i am not into getting married. we own a home together, take care of VeggieFrog and rescue kitties together.
that is enough for me right now.
I am planning on marrying my SO. I stayed with my ex-gf for awhile, even though I knew from the first date I would never marry her, just for sex.
SacrosanctFiend
Diamond Member
- Oct 2, 2004
- 4,269
- 0
- 0
I just broke it off with my fiancee two months ago. I'm with someone new, whom I really like, and, while I'm not excluding it down the road, I'm not even thinking about marriage.
Nitemare
Lifer
- Feb 8, 2001
- 35,461
- 4
- 81
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
the b/f fell in love with me on ....hour two, date one...
6yrs later... he still wants to marry me, and i am not into getting married. we own a home together, take care of VeggieFrog and rescue kitties together.
that is enough for me right now.
You are going to be common law married soon.....might as well just get a ring out of it.
BlueWeasel
Lifer
- Jun 2, 2000
- 15,944
- 475
- 126
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
the b/f fell in love with me on ....hour two, date one...
6yrs later... he still wants to marry me, and i am not into getting married. we own a home together, take care of VeggieFrog and rescue kitties together.
that is enough for me right now.
I know you've probably been asked this question before, and if you have just point me to the answer. But why not marriage?
There's a certain bit of maturity to your posts (I'm not calling you old, but it's easy to pick up). You've talked a good bit about your SO in other posts, so I honestly just assumed you were married.
Originally posted by: Nitemare
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
the b/f fell in love with me on ....hour two, date one...
6yrs later... he still wants to marry me, and i am not into getting married. we own a home together, take care of VeggieFrog and rescue kitties together.
that is enough for me right now.
You are going to be common law married soon.....might as well just get a ring out of it.
No common law marriage in the state of New Jersey! And I have loads of rings.. posted a pic..upon request... a while back.. I have loads of all sorts of bobbles from him. Now, there is a certain diamond I have my eye on... and if he wants to call it an engagement ring.. fine
It will be the longest engagement in history. Maturity in my posts.. hahaha! I am 42yrs old. VeggieFrog is 21yrs old.
My b/f is a wonderful guy! I am confident that if the majority of women on the planet were to sit and draw a list of the PERFECT guy... if he is not spot on, he is damn close... As for my personal perfection list... well, he has stuff that I never put on my list, cause I never believed it possible that I Would ever find it.
Why not marriage... that is a *me* thing... has nothing to do with him. I am not happy in me, to be honest. There area lot of things that I need to work on to be happy with myself again... and I will not enter into a lifelong commitment with a promise of "for better or worse" when I feel like I am getting all the better and him all the worse. He says I am silly to feel this way, and I am the bestest thing that could ever have happened to him... but it is a me thing.
Also, I HATE where we live... he is not ready to move yet and I think that if I get married now, it is kinda like condoning thay we stay.
I have been married before, and it was a disaster. I only have one chance left... and I will ensure that it is right... I think it is foolish to enter into a marriage and hope things will get better... I believe that a marriage should be entered into when everything is good, with a promise that whatever comes will be worked out.
Problably a LOT more info than you asked for, or anyone here cares about.. but there is it.
I turned 42 on May 18th and he will be 40 on August 16th.
He has never been married and has no children. He says he has been waiting for me.
Rumpltzer
Diamond Member
- Jun 7, 2003
- 4,815
- 33
- 91
I was dating a girl once, and we weren't in love and had no intentions of getting married. We just sort of leaned on one another, I guess, and we were okay with it for about a year. It ended, and that was not a big deal either.
I married a girl in December. After less than two years, it was clear to me that she's the one I want. My wife and I have talked about it and we both agree that being married is not so different than before we were married.
Of course, my girlfriend doesn't agree. She's not too happy that I'm married.
I married a girl in December. After less than two years, it was clear to me that she's the one I want. My wife and I have talked about it and we both agree that being married is not so different than before we were married.
Of course, my girlfriend doesn't agree. She's not too happy that I'm married.
Kadarin
Lifer
- Nov 23, 2001
- 44,296
- 16
- 81
I think you're limiting yourself with the assumption that the sole purpose of a relationship is to get married and spend the rest of your life with someone. ("The One", as Hallmark, DeBeers, and the Lifetime Channel have all brainwashed you to think of it as.)
People fall in and out of love all the time. You and your s/o are often not the same people at 40 as you were when you were 20. You change, you grow, and it's entirely possible that you could become more or less compatible with each other. So why be in a relationship if not to get married? Maybe you enjoy the friendship/closeness? Maybe the convenience? Maybe you want kids? Maybe not?
Some people even have polyamorous relationships, because they enjoy companionship with each other, but don't want to lose the excitement of being with new people.
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