Man, my dad can make me think..

[urbantechie]

Well, you see, my family is not the richest and it was a big feat just to buy a house in 1995. Well, my parent's are both from Vietnam who came here in 1980. My dad paints cars and my mom babysits. Lets just say the family makes just enough to go by with nothing to spare. Well, being raised in a Chinese household, my dad has always told me that once I am older I shoudl give him some of my pay check when I have a job. Not much, but just to make him happy. Seems reasonable right? Well, they have always told this to my older sister and now she graduated college (first one in our entire family including cousins..etc) and she is making about 3K a month. Well, my dad asked her for $600 and she got all pissed. My dad was dissapointed and gave me this lecutre. That if you love your parent's, do it when they are alive and can still do things. Like, I always tell him, once I make money i'll buy him and my mom a vaction here and there and he says if I don't do good in school how am I ever going to that? If I want to so bad, prove it and if I can't, don't try and pray for him and all that crap when he is dead. So, thats why I get so stressed when I get bad grades or so something stupid.

Thats a little info on me that makes me a bit sad...

 

[Bluga]

wow you actually posted a good thread

 

[paruhd0x]

That's messed up...

 

[Wingznut]

Don't let it make you sad... But rather as motivation. Prove to your dad (and yourself) that you can succeed.

Then shove it in your sister's face, when she asks for something.

 

[Static911]

ah, the guilt trip? but your sis got pissed when ur parents asked for some cheese? wow, sorry to say (even when i don't know the circumstance, but wat a biatch!)...ur parents put sweat, blood into her and she cowers away like that

I know da feeling. My parents are really well off, but i wanna give back cuz of all the energy they invested into me; and hell, they are my parents!

Do well in skool, get a good job (hopefully 5-7k a month) and take care of ur folks

Static911

 

[urbantechie]

Well, I think they are counting on me to get a good job. Everyone in my family thinks i'll be the rich one due to my computer skills. Thats why I want a PT job in HS making $12.00/hr.

 

[Taz4158]

Interesting post UT. Thanks for making me think......

 

[maleficent]

this really does make one think.

Good Luck!

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

well you're not gonna get any money by playing counterstrike all day.

btw i always thought you were white. guess not.

 

[robotcholi]

damn, i feel so guilty now man. I'm thinking too......deeply! Gosh, i'm gonna cry for a bit here....

 

[kw3i]

doh! i didnt get good grades, no wonder my dad hates me! j/k, good post man

 

[iamwiz82]

Is that really a chinese belief? I dont see why a child should pay his/her parents when they are living away from the house, and your sister is, correct?

Why not pay one of the utility bills? Tell your dad you ill take over the phone bill from now on or something.

 

[Missus]

Good luck UT... Don't listen to Neo when he tries to talk you into a game of CS...

 

[myputer]

Wow thats crazy, i would never expect my children to do that for me. Dont get me wrong, if my son was in the nfl, or was a movie star then i can see taking some cash, otheriwse I would want them to keep their own money.

 

[Supradude]

I'm in a similar boat urban = P ... i think my 'rents expect me to be able to pay for their future living and for their retirement and such... and something tells me i'll need to bail my older siste out in the long run too... eesh...

 

[wake]

I'm not chinese, but the idea is sound. Once your parent have retired, they have no pension, and no money. They took care of all your finances for 18(+/-3) years, maybe you should cover their expenses for $20 years too. People I know in HongKong must pay half of their salary to their parents. It's only fair.

 

[bigbootydaddy]

nothing a little cs wont fix

 

[Wipeout667]

Huh, he asked her for $600/mo? I personally find that strange. I was raised in a Chinese household and never once did anything like this ever come up and I know that if I ever offered my parents any money they wouldn't accept it.

 

[ArkAoss]

urban, your into computers, right? just learn them, and how to deal well with people, and you oughta be able to make money, and help your folks out. it isn't hard, I've seen major idiots pull off the "american dream". And trust me, any one oughta be able to do it.

 

[Ornery]

I don't see anything wrong with kids paying board. Your dad should have made that clear before you guys were even teens, so it wouldn't be a shock later.

I don't think asking kids to pay for half their college is out of line either. Did your sister pay her own way for school? I think they would take the whole college thing a little more seriously if they have money invested in it too.

 

[Azraele]

Don't let it stress you out. Do something about it. Try 100% in everything you do and you can never go wrong. Go and do something that would make your dad proud.

As far as you getting lectured when your sis got mad at him, I think you dad wasn't so much upset with you as he was with your sis. You just happened to be there to vent his concerns on. He wants to see you turn out well, and he means well, even if he sounds a bit harsh. Take it in stride.

 

[Linh]

i'm vietnamese myself, and although my parents have never asked me for anything i assume that i'll be giving back, not because they ask, but because i feel it's just the right thing to do.

 

[warcleric]

Most asian cultures expect children to take care of their parents just like the parents did for the children. I personally feel it is a great way to honor your parents. the problem is here in the US kids dont respect their parents, hell kids in the US dont respect ANYONE except eminem.

 

[Viper GTS]

Is your sister still living at home? If not, I'd be pissed too. I pay pretty high rent to live at home with my parents ($400 a month, & I pay my phone bill & my food costs), & I make half what she does. When I move out, they won't be getting that rent anymore.

Honestly, though, it's just a cultural thing. No real right or wrong.

Viper GTS

 

[Champo41]

I don't know your cultural tradition, so this may sound harsh...

I don't think you owe your parents anything. Your dad wanting some of your money is just pure laziness on his part. Sure there's the fact that he spent some of his money on you, but did he not know that children cost money and put a huge dent on a family's income?

I've been blessed by my parents and I will probably send them on a vacation somewhere when I'm older, but that's a personal decision and no one should go by that guideline.

The only thing that your parents should expect from you is not success, nor a prodigy, but to just be a good, well-rounded person in life. That's all.