Looks like my marriage is over.

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Future Shock
DA - as someone who is went through HIS own succubus divorce - I have to say what two of New York's finest told me after they came to our apartment on Central Park South for the 3d time - "get the hell out before some other cop believes HER!!"

Your wife will bide her time, wait for the house to be purchased (my smartest move was in "delaying" my ex's attempts to buy a house or condo...), and then find SOME way to hang you. She will falsify claims that you are cheating on her, she will claim you abused or threatened her, etc. ANYTHING that can be used against you in divorce court - you know this drill, you're a professional. SHE MAY EVEN TRY TO GET PREGNANT FIRST!!!

Run, don't walk. I've been reading your posts, and frankly this is deja vu...

Future Shock

BTW - I do believe in counselling for marriages in most cases. But not in cases like this...

Quoted for truth. Watch out. Thing may seem OK, but she is planning her escape and how she can take you.

 

[jinduy]

that lady is cheating on you, divorce her now

 

[busmaster11]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
So I was having lunch today with my wife, and we were talking about buying a house. Things have not been great at all in our marriage for the last two years... not great at all.

Anyway, we were talking about the minor league football team that was listed for sale on eBay for $100,000. I asked her, jokingly, if she had $100k to loan me to buy the team. She said that if she had a $100k, she would not need me to help her buy a house.

Whoa.

So I ask her if that is the only reason why we are married - so she could have a house. She did not answer, stating matter-of-factly, that I could not possibly be any more happy about our situation than she is.

Truth is... I'm not.

I've spent the better part of the afternoon fighting back tears, wondering if this is it. I have not been the best husband, and I recognize that. She could also have been a loving and supportive wife, too. We have been together for 13 years, and the last two have been pretty bad.

Is it worth saving?

love = self-sacrifice

PRIDE is the dead opposite of both, and it runs deep in all our hearts.

 

[PandaBear]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong
Are you serious? You rate cheating at 50/50 and drugs/alcohol at "it is over"?! I'd much rather my wife (7 years together, 4 married) get high or drunk than fvck another man!

getting high and killed is a bad thing, I wouldn't want gangster and drug dealer at my house because of my wife gets high, used all my money to buy drug, and when I am broke she fvck someone off the street for drug money.

50/50 in cheating because if it was a one time deal and she make it up (some how, I dont know) and is trustworthy, then maybe it is fixable.

 

[wasssup]

how about talking to her about it? if she clearly doesn't care for YOU, just your money, dump that bitch. I'm sure you still love her, but if she doesn't feel the same way, it's kind of pointless don't you think?

 

[bootymac]

Here's how I see it: If you talk it over and get things worked out, there will always be the underlying fact of what happened, and what could've happened. I don't think things would be the same after this

 

[lrad50]

talk to her.

 

[ironchefjon]

Seems like money is a big issue for you guys and maybe is the root of your problems. You would think that you guys would move into a house already after 13 years of working and trying to save money, but you guys are not.

Hold your chin up.

 

[Ricemarine]

I say it's time to let go.

 

[gotsmack]

1. You're in the business, you should know better.

2. Most of the time when a couple realizes that they really need counseling, it is already too late and the damage is too deep to repair, you can only stop things from getting worse.

3. You have to realize when a product has reached end of life and you have to sell it off to start a new venture.

 

[CKent]

Originally posted by: PandaBear

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong
Are you serious? You rate cheating at 50/50 and drugs/alcohol at "it is over"?! I'd much rather my wife (7 years together, 4 married) get high or drunk than fvck another man!

getting high and killed is a bad thing, I wouldn't want gangster and drug dealer at my house because of my wife gets high, used all my money to buy drug, and when I am broke she fvck someone off the street for drug money.

50/50 in cheating because if it was a one time deal and she make it up (some how, I dont know) and is trustworthy, then maybe it is fixable.

I want some of what you're smoking

 

[Mloot]

Wow, man, that's got to be rough. I've been married almost 11 years now, and I don't know what I would do if my wife was giving me those vibes. I've seen lots of people recommend counseling in this thread, but I don't recall seeing anyone mention the clergy. Are you and your wife a pretty religious couple? If you are, then sometimes your pastor/priest can do as good a job or better in counseling you and your wife than a professional would. If you're not (relgious, that is), then just disregard that suggestion.

I hope everything works out for you

On a more pessimistic note - DA, I'm no expert (not being an attorney and such), but isn't it Texas law that if you are married for ten years or more, then the wife is entitled to 1/2 of everything you have, including your pension, until such time as she remarries? If things do go south and you have to go through divorce proceedings, would you get your own lawyer or would you represent yourself?

 

[Colt45]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: PandaBear
You guys need councelling, for sure.

It is obvious that you love her but felt hurt by the things she did. What is the good part of the first 11 years like? Did she hate something that you did? Did you cheat on her or did she cheat on you?

If there is still some love but the situation is stressing both of you out, then there is a fix. If it is because you or her has bad habbit (drug, alcohol, physical abuse) then sorry, it is over. If someone is cheating, then it is a 50/50.

What is the detail?

Are you serious? You rate cheating at 50/50 and drugs/alcohol at "it is over"?! I'd much rather my wife (7 years together, 4 married) get high or drunk than fvck another man!

my thoughts exactly

 

[Xylitol]

Spend some of the rest of your money on a marriage counselor
Things seem kinda rough
Make sure she doens't leave you causce you got a counselor though

Good luck

 

[LethalWolfe]

Originally posted by: PandaBear

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong
Are you serious? You rate cheating at 50/50 and drugs/alcohol at "it is over"?! I'd much rather my wife (7 years together, 4 married) get high or drunk than fvck another man!

getting high and killed is a bad thing, I wouldn't want gangster and drug dealer at my house because of my wife gets high, used all my money to buy drug, and when I am broke she fvck someone off the street for drug money.

50/50 in cheating because if it was a one time deal and she make it up (some how, I dont know) and is trustworthy, then maybe it is fixable.

Geez, talk about comparing a worst case scenario to a best case scenario. How about this:
Drugs: Wife smokes a joint every couple of months. Nothing worse happens other than she finishes off your bag of Doritos.
Cheating: Wife has unprotected sex w/some dude who has full blown AIDS. Wife has unprotected sex w/you.

I know which situation *I'd* rather be in.

Lethal

 

[Pepsei]

hey, most marriages end up in a divorce anyway. good luck and start your battle plan.

 

[LookingGlass]

Originally posted by: Mloot


On a more pessimistic note - DA, I'm no expert (not being an attorney and such), but isn't it Texas law that if you are married for ten years or more, then the wife is entitled to 1/2 of everything you have, including your pension, until such time as she remarries? If things do go south and you have to go through divorce proceedings, would you get your own lawyer or would you represent yourself?

Texas law says, you can file, and get a divorce in 60 days........that's it. No long waiting period like some states have.

 

[meltdown75]

no meaningful advice here, just wishing you good luck

 

[Kelemvor]

Originally posted by: dquan97

Originally posted by: FrankyJunior
If you want it to succeed and just feel that you two aren't able to connect well, check out this book.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/bookse...serid=184C2GTCsN&isbn=1881273156&itm=2

It's really great and has helped the couples in our couples group become closer together.

Or make an appointment and see a counselor. THe sooner you realize something is wrong and seek help, the higher the chance things can be fixed and the marriage will stay together.

I agree that it's a great book...heard the author talk during a marriage conference.

I haven't heard the author but he references a lot of the people he meets atr speeches in the book. If nothing else, find it at the library or something, then it's free.

 

[aidanjm]

I have no insights to offer, I wish you the best though

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
So I was having lunch today with my wife, and we were talking about buying a house. Things have not been great at all in our marriage for the last two years... not great at all.

Anyway, we were talking about the minor league football team that was listed for sale on eBay for $100,000. I asked her, jokingly, if she had $100k to loan me to buy the team. She said that if she had a $100k, she would not need me to help her buy a house.

Whoa.

So I ask her if that is the only reason why we are married - so she could have a house. She did not answer, stating matter-of-factly, that I could not possibly be any more happy about our situation than she is.

Truth is... I'm not.

I've spent the better part of the afternoon fighting back tears, wondering if this is it. I have not been the best husband, and I recognize that. She could also have been a loving and supportive wife, too. We have been together for 13 years, and the last two have been pretty bad.

Is it worth saving?

anything is worth it if you want it.
looks like the blame is on both of you though, not just her.

 

[Ausm]

My Ex talked like that also and soon she was banging someone else and our marriage went down the shatter...


Ausm

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy
I am curious how you are treating her in all this. I mean, no offense to your wife, but when you quote the things she says or does, she sounds like not a very nice person. Are you a dick to her too? Because if not, then I don't think she is worth staying with. She seems abusive.

You know... I'm really not sure. She tells me that I can be cold, verbally abusive, and downright evil at times. I really don't see it. I ask for examples, and she does not give me any.

Others have told me that she is abusive, and clearly does not love me. They have suggested that I leave her, and even offered me free room and board if I'd do it.

That is not good. But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause. Are you willing to try counseling?

It was over before it started if she insisted on retaining her maiden name so it would be easier when she divorced.... coincidentally mine kept hers as well.

Next time I wed, she had better damn well change her name(I'm on to this game now)

why don't you offer to change your 'maiden name'?

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
We have no children.

then cut your losses now, prior to buying the house. keep it amicable, and move on.

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
Last week she explained at a tailgate party that she kept her maiden name to make our divorce easier... no name change.

That's all you need to know man.

Curb the bitch.