Originally posted by: shira
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
3. If you notice people react often times defensively to what I post. I maintain it's because I touch a nerve in them. People feel like the worst in the world and know it somewhere within.
On the other hand, it's also possible that what you're experiencing as defensiveness is in fact frustration.
(Not sure what you are saying here.
By way of example, I am infuriated by many of Seekermeister's posts not because he touches a nerve in me but because his ignorance is so complete and so utterly willful. So terrified is he of confronting his own mortaility that he brainwashes himself into insisting that science is just a belief system.
Well, I sort of take back what I just said: In some weird sense, Seekermeister DOES touch a nerve (but not at all in the sense you mean): Seekermeister is so self-satisfied in the pre-packaged vomitus he clings to as truth, that he evades all responsibility for rational thought and discourse. There he sits, a smug little man so utterly clueless that he hasn't a care in the world. How galling that such imbeciles achieve pseudo-Nirvana by flushing the human condition down the toilet, whereas I cannot help but confront my voyage into oblivion.
(Yes yes yes, you see there is a nerve. You know that because there is anger. You have words to describe the thing that makes you angry but what you don't understand, I say, is why. Your see what he is but what you see causes you to be angry. This is an irrational act because your can't identify why what he is should be despised. Assume for a moment that he is everything you say without the emotional baggage. Something like this:
Seekermeister has a truth, that avoids rational thought and discourse in my opinion. His thinking allows him to live without a care in the world. But when I look at the world I suffer.
What you are saying is that ignorance is bliss and consciousness brings suffering.
Little wonder, is there, there are so many shallow people in the world. But really, why does this make you angry. Do you not also know that if you can go way way down you can also go way way up. Do you seriously believe that ignorance is bliss. I tell you people's inner lives are hell and that what you see is a great deal of pretense. Look at things like mass hysteria and mobs. The bliss of ignorance masks a huge amount of violence and that all goes back to self hate. And I have said that if you suffer you will not suffer. But we were told to be tough and turn away from it, pretend it does not exist.
I am saying, essentially what LunarRay was saying about bigotry. You have a kind of bigotry against people like Seekermeister, a motivator that makes you feel what you feel that is not conscious.
I am saying we do not know what we feel and the truth of our feelings is our real truth, not the phony truth we make up because we don't know what we feel.
Why do we not see people like Seekermeister with understanding and compassion if in real fact he is truly far more lost than you? I say it because within you there is a feeling that you have been hurt unjustly. You can into this world a beautiful and perhaps even especially intelligent child and you were hurt because you wanted more love that the people around you, who secretly also hate themselves, could give. Your open purity and honest need terrified them because you caused them to remember their own unsatisfied childhood need. We were crucified and now we're pissed and here's this asshole who pretends he's got it made and is going to live forever in heaven. Hehehehe Why would you not rather wish with all your being that he will. It is because, I think, our needs weren't met and we carry the deficit of that feeling. Inside there is a hole the universe itself can't fill.)
Especially galling because I have a great, big brain and I've done lots of heavy lifting to achieve my current state of enlightened ignorance: I see the void and it's going to gobble up every last one of us. And your own philosophy to the contrary, it wouldn't have mattered if Mommy and Daddy had been more suitable.
(I say, and I know you can't believe me when I do, that you do not know what you feel. You have no idea how fantastically difficult it is to do, how massive the walls are back to origin)
You, too are ignorant, though you seem to think your ignorance is better than the rest of ours. Sorry, but the story you tell yourself to help you sleep is almost as useless as Seekermeister's.
(It can't be helped then because my delusions bring me some sense of peace and joy and, I think, insight into other people. I fought the great war and won. I defeated the nothing. I have been into the blackest of despair and got free. I went to the end of the rope and let go. I paid for my light with every thing I loved and believed, all my precious garbage heaped on my by centuries of accumulated nonsense. I lost everything to the nothingness but it could not take my heart. All that I had wanted to come to me from out there came back to me by flowing out.
But there is plenty about my feelings I still do not understand. You can't force consciousness. You can only try to cooperate, hehe.)
That's not anger or self-hate you hear speaking. It's tough love.
I would say the same, but I have learned that when the ego speaks you have to anticipate unconsciousness and deception. I do not believe we are capable of love when we still are filled with ego need. Or should we say our love is somewhat tainted and potentially fickle.
