Living without regret...?

[GodlessAstronomer]

Some people claim to live without regret and wear this as a badge of honour. Lately I've been thinking about this. If you genuinely live without regret then either

1. You've lived a perfect life and made no bad decisions (unlikely)
2. You're not very introspective/retrospective

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

 

[lxskllr]

Sometimes people translate "no regrets" to "inconsequential regrets". I could see going through life with (inconsequential)no regrets.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

3. Many people don't know the meaning of the term, "regret".

 

[datalink7]

Some people claim to live without regret and wear this as a badge of honour. Lately I've been thinking about this. If you genuinely live without regret then either

1. You've lived a perfect life and made no bad decisions (unlikely)
2. You're not very introspective/retrospective

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

I pretty much agree. Kind of stupid or immature. Like saying "living for the moment" without thought for the future or reflection on the past.

 

[SandEagle]

my life is filled with many regrets.

 

[Kadarin]

Some people claim to live without regret and wear this as a badge of honour. Lately I've been thinking about this. If you genuinely live without regret then either

1. You've lived a perfect life and made no bad decisions (unlikely)
2. You're not very introspective/retrospective

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

3.*Having come to understanding and acceptance of past decisions.

 

[grrl]

I think it should be obvious to most that everyone has regrets, only some people have bigger regrets than others. And some dwell on them more.

 

[Tiamat]

I don't regret anything I have ever done (come to terms with, accept, move on). No need to waste time being negative about past things that you cannot change. Accept what you have available, and make the best with what you got. Life is too short to worry about what if's and alternative paths you could have or should have taken. If you spend too much time living in the past, you won't have enough time to live in the present and plan for the future (based on learned experiences).

 

[MJinZ]

Some people claim to live without regret and wear this as a badge of honour. Lately I've been thinking about this. If you genuinely live without regret then either

1. You've lived a perfect life and made no bad decisions (unlikely)
2. You're not very introspective/retrospective

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

Not really. Some people think trying is good enough. So they will make an effort at something, and fail or succeed, then claim to have no regrets.

Other people have no aspirations in life at all. So, they have nothing to regret.

Still others attempt to overcome by hitting New Game Plus, and F5/F9 (Quick Save/Quick Load).

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Only one thing can change the nature of a man...

 

[lokiju]

I've usually taken it as more meaning to not dwell on stuff.

Sure you can do something dumb and one person might let it fester in them while another might move on from it quickly, which is to say they don't regret it.

 

[Perknose]

3.*Having come to understanding and acceptance of past decisions.

Pretty much this.

Everyone makes mistakes. At one point or another, most everyone has made some fairly big ones.

No one has lived a perfect life and everyone has experienced regret for things they've done and decisions they've made.

What's important is the ability to make your peace with your past mistakes and move on. It's about making your peace with your own flawed self so that you can move on.

Not holding on forever to regret is what's really meant by "having no regrets."

It's about forgiving yourself, which, paradoxically, can sometimes be the hardest thing to do.

Many of us are harder on ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else.

Living your life without regret is all about the high, high wisdom of forgiving yourself.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

snip
Not holding on forever to regret is what's really meant by "having no regrets."
snip

That's a personal interpretation, though. I do agree with the rest of what you stated.

Regret is to the emotions as the open flame is to the hand. Feel the pain, learn the lesson, move on. Regret doesn't have to mean dwelling on something.

 

[datalink7]

Pretty much this.

Everyone makes mistakes. At one point or another, most everyone has made some fairly big ones.

No one has lived a perfect life and everyone has experienced regret for things they've done and decisions they've made.

What's important is the ability to make your peace with your past mistakes and move on. It's about making your peace with your own flawed self so that you can move on.

Not holding on forever to regret is what's really meant by "having no regrets."

It's about forgiving yourself, which, paradoxically, can sometimes be the hardest thing to do.

Many of us are harder on ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else.

Living your life without regret is all about the high, high wisdom of forgiving yourself.

I'm not convinced that you have the moral right to forgive yourself unless you were the one who wronged yourself. The party who is the victim has the right to forgive.

My feeling is that if you transgress against someone it is they who have to forgive you. Forgiving yourself is a bit narcissistic.

 

[Perknose]

Originally Posted by Perknose
snip
Not holding on forever to regret is what's really meant by "having no regrets."
snip

That's a personal interpretation, though. I do agree with the rest of what you stated.

Regret is to the emotions as the open flame is to the hand. Feel the pain, learn the lesson, move on. Regret doesn't have to mean dwelling on something.

I didn't say it did. I said the bolded.

Indeed, what else could the phrase "Living life with no regrets" possibly mean except having them but not holding on to them?

Everyone has regrets. Everyone experiences regret at one time or another in their imperfect lives, for no one lives a perfect life!

So what else could the phrase mean?

Have them. Just don't hold on to them. Move on. That's all.

It's the best we wildly imperfect beings can do, and an elusive but important piece of personal wisdom.

 

[l0cke]

I regret clicking on this thread :hmm:

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

 

[angminas]

We're not supposed to wallow in useless perpetual self-loathing. Neither are we supposed to live only in the moment, not learning from our past mistakes so that we don't make them again, not planning for a better future. We're supposed to live a life of love, truth, balance, and reality.

 

[TecHNooB]

We're not supposed to wallow in useless perpetual self-loathing. Neither are we supposed to live only in the moment, not learning from our past mistakes so that we don't make them again, not planning for a better future. We're supposed to live a life of love, truth, balance, and reality.

I live for sushi

 

[leckley]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you say it is a personal opinion, everyone has their own idea of what true regret really is.

From my perspective a regret is not really over a "mistake" you made or something you "failed" at - If they are a regret, this would be the idea of you that you realize you screwed up and moved on.

What I consider a real regret is when you made a decision that no matter what you do you just can not comes to terms with it or there is "get over it" path to be had.

It is something that every time you do think back on life, its one of those big ass red flags that nearly brings tears to your eyes - its a decision that makes you depressed and you know you just missed the train of your life...or...you really fucked up bad.

With that being said, can you live a life without any regrets? I would say it is possible as it is only a regret until you can surpass, once passed you can clear it off the slate, but realizing there things that can never be cleared, nothing you can do will change what you did and you know that it is to remain with your for life.

just my 2 cents.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

I didn't say it did. I said the bolded.

Indeed, what else could the phrase "Living life with no regrets" possibly mean except having them but not holding on to them?

Everyone has regrets. Everyone experiences regret at one time or another in their imperfect lives, for no one lives a perfect life!

So what else could the phrase mean?

Have them. Just don't hold on to them. Move on. That's all.

It's the best we wildly imperfect beings can do, and an elusive but important piece of personal wisdom.

Not holding on forever to regret != Living life with no regrets.

Each regret is one of a multitude of strokes that forms the sculpture of that person. As a result, the mark of that regret is always there, consciously or subconsciously, gripped tightly or let go.

Just because a condition does not exist now, does not mean it has never been. I feel no regret now, but I have not lived a life without regret.

As far as "what else could the phrase mean?"... I've known someone who completely believed that she had never done anything wrong. As far as I could discern, she wholeheartedly bought into the belief that not only has every act of her life been justified, but "in the right". The only person I know who apparently, truly has "no regrets".

 

[Perknose]

I live for sushi

Yes, but what if your restaurant runs out of sushi? Will you have the long-stemmed water bird instead? And what if they run out of egrets?

Can you live a life with no egrets?

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

Yes, but what if your restaurant runs out of sushi? Will you have the long-stemmed water bird instead? And what if they run out of egrets?

Can you live a life with no egrets?

:'(

 

[Perknose]

As far as "what else could the phrase mean?"... I've known someone who completely believed that she had never done anything wrong. As far as I could discern, she wholeheartedly bought into the belief that not only has every act of her life been justified, but "in the right". The only person I know who apparently, truly has "no regrets".

Your friend is either deeply deluded or in pathological denial. You do realize this, don't you?

 

[Schadenfreude]

Dammit I should've had Dr. Pepper instead of Coke at McDonalds today!