Living without regret...?

[911paramedic]

"I wish I asked that woman to dance the other night."

That is a regret. Do you dwell on it forever? Probably not.

IMHO I don't think anybody could live a life without any regrets.

(I regret clicking on the K. Reeves thread, and that was ten minutes ago.)

 

[JEDI]

You're not very introspective/retrospective


Agree? Disagree?

depends.. what does that mean?

 

[Terzo]

I regret the day I started posting in ATOT...as I'm sure some others do too.

 

[ebaycj]

Dammit I should've had Dr. Pepper instead of Coke at McDonalds today!

I laugh at your misfortune.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

Your friend is either deeply deluded or in pathological denial. You do realize this, don't you?

Never said "friend" ... but yeah, I think "pathological denial" fits the bill. She & I had never been particularly close anyway, but I disassociated myself from her a long time ago.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

I regret the day I started posting in ATOT...as I'm sure some others do too.

And yet, you always come back! :awe:

 

[BarkingGhostar]

Some people claim to live without regret and wear this as a badge of honour. Lately I've been thinking about this. If you genuinely live without regret then either

1. You've lived a perfect life and made no bad decisions (unlikely)
2. You're not very introspective/retrospective

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree?

You may be missing a valuable point, or just not acknowledging it in your post. I can evaluate all the various events in my life and come up with the good, bad, and the ugly. I can have regret(s) on one or more of those events. But, regretting means wishful thinking I had done something differently, and by that notion dire consequences can arise that alter the current state of affairs.

That is simply something I would not care to risk as I am living a very happy life right now. Changing, say, my being a middle school dropout and haven instead gone through the public school system might have led to a condition in which I never met my wife. How sad that would be!

As such, I am not really going to sit here and regret haven been a middle school dropout--something that happened +3 decades ago. Use this as an example of why some would not regret their past if it means their present, which may be a happy thing, could be compromised.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

I regret dropping out of high school. I've made it right since then and will be a computer science grad in 6 months, but nothing good has come of it that wouldn't have happened anyway, only a few years earlier. I can honestly say that I regret dropping out of high school and several other disastrous decisions I made during that period of my life. There isn't really a silver lining, at least not that I can see.

 

[Fenixgoon]

my life is filled with many regrets.

likewise

 

[caddlad]

Akin to "No Fear", which is, in my mind, an open invitation to Darwin.

*resists posting "My Way" lyrics.

 

[her209]

I regret not living my life without regrets.

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

Akin to "No Fear", which is, in my mind, an open invitation to Darwin.

*resists posting "My Way" lyrics.

Heh... I was starting to copy/paste "My Way" lyrics, then thought naaahhh...

 

[Terzo]

And yet, you always come back! :awe:

It's a cheap source of entertainment, as well as information when needed. I'm going to force myself to take a break when I hit 1000 posts.

 

[soulcougher73]

I don't regret anything I have ever done (come to terms with, accept, move on). No need to waste time being negative about past things that you cannot change. Accept what you have available, and make the best with what you got. Life is too short to worry about what if's and alternative paths you could have or should have taken. If you spend too much time living in the past, you won't have enough time to live in the present and plan for the future (based on learned experiences).

This is pretty much what i came in here to say.

 

[Analog]

Those who live with regret are not forgiving (of themselves). If you cannot forgive yourself, how can you forgive others? You are spending needless energy on the past which cannot be changed. The only thing you can change is the future. Therefore regret is counter productive. Nobody's perfect - its okay to learn from mistakes, but you must be big enough to forgive and accept yourself for what you are. Then you can truly live without regret.

 

[marvdmartian]

One more option, OP. No regret could be that you just don't CARE. Some people care too much, others not enough, or not at all. Either end of the spectrum probably isn't too healthy, mentally, but I think I'd rather be in the "don't care" end, if I had to pick one.

 

[angminas]

I regret dropping out of high school. I've made it right since then and will be a computer science grad in 6 months, but nothing good has come of it that wouldn't have happened anyway, only a few years earlier. I can honestly say that I regret dropping out of high school and several other disastrous decisions I made during that period of my life. There isn't really a silver lining, at least not that I can see.

Use your head. Think logically.

Why did you drop out? There are always various reasons for such things, but for purposes of this discussion, the answer is- because nobody convinced you not to.

Now. Don't you wish somebody had convinced you not to? Don't you wish somebody wise (i.e. somebody who spent a lot of time and effort to become wise) had called on their experience and insight to help you understand how bad an idea it was? Don't you wish you'd had the kind of relationship with this person which would lead you to trust their advice over your own plans (now shown to be unwise, short-sighted, and a huge waste of time)? Don't you wish you could have started your adult life at a higher level, closer to your goals, less weighed down by regret?

Now you have an opportunity. You can choose to use your experience as a springboard, or you can choose to use it as a ball and chain. You can also pass this on to others. When you have children and grandchildren, do you want to tell them stories about how to live better than you did, or do you want to tell them stories about how pointless life is, grey, empty, with no silver lining to be found? Even in the workplace and in everyday life- do you want to mope, or do you want to shine? (Hint: which would you prefer others do when they're around you?)

The silver lining isn't in the cloud- it's in your heart. And it's only there if you choose to put it there. If you choose to learn from this experience, grow into a bigger person, and teach others to do the same, then you can turn your choice from a mistake into a lesson. You can turn negative into positive, darkness into light, waste into wisdom. Now that is the kind of evolution I can get behind.

Even real silver isn't just found lying around- it has to be mined. It's up to you, man.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Use your head. Think logically.

Why did you drop out? There are always various reasons for such things, but for purposes of this discussion, the answer is- because nobody convinced you not to.

Now. Don't you wish somebody had convinced you not to? Don't you wish somebody wise (i.e. somebody who spent a lot of time and effort to become wise) had called on their experience and insight to help you understand how bad an idea it was? Don't you wish you'd had the kind of relationship with this person which would lead you to trust their advice over your own plans (now shown to be unwise, short-sighted, and a huge waste of time)? Don't you wish you could have started your adult life at a higher level, closer to your goals, less weighed down by regret?

Now you have an opportunity. You can choose to use your experience as a springboard, or you can choose to use it as a ball and chain. You can also pass this on to others. When you have children and grandchildren, do you want to tell them stories about how to live better than you did, or do you want to tell them stories about how pointless life is, grey, empty, with no silver lining to be found? Even in the workplace and in everyday life- do you want to mope, or do you want to shine? (Hint: which would you prefer others do when they're around you?)

The silver lining isn't in the cloud- it's in your heart. And it's only there if you choose to put it there. If you choose to learn from this experience, grow into a bigger person, and teach others to do the same, then you can turn your choice from a mistake into a lesson. You can turn negative into positive, darkness into light, waste into wisdom. Now that is the kind of evolution I can get behind.

Even real silver isn't just found lying around- it has to be mined. It's up to you, man.

:hmm:

Great post, a lot to think about. Thanks.

 

[invidia]

Anyone who said they don't regret anything are able to feel and see themselves in a multiple universes to see what happened if they did the opposite.

 

[guyver01]

you have to view regrets as opportunities.... waypoints on the journey of life.
i would not be who i am today, and where i am today, if not for my past experiences.
do i regret some things? sure.. but i dont make my whole life dwelling on the past.

what happened, happened... and you can't change the past. only learn from it.

 

[Gothgar]

I regret reading your post

 

[Pantlegz]

you have to view regrets as opportunities.... waypoints on the journey of life.
i would not be who i am today, and where i am today, if not for my past experiences.
do i regret some things? sure.. but i dont make my whole life dwelling on the past.

what happened, happened... and you can't change
the past. only learn from it.

This its exactly what I was thinking. I know I've made mistakes but I don't regret them I learn from them the best I can.

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

you have to view regrets as opportunities.... waypoints on the journey of life.
i would not be who i am today, and where i am today, if not for my past experiences.
do i regret some things? sure.. but i dont make my whole life dwelling on the past.

what happened, happened... and you can't change the past. only learn from it

How do regrets become opportunities? If there are opportunities that are to be gotten from the experience, then it's not a regret, because you can still do something about it. You can't say "I feel regretful/sorry/repentant/remorseful about this" and not change it if given the chance, because then you're obviously not very regretful/sorry/repentant/remorseful, are you?

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

I have regrets (and I'm only 20), but I've gotten over them. To me, it's really whether or not you live with a ball and chain. I'd rather live with low-median income jobs that accept interrupted experience than high-income jobs that require working non-stop.

 

[Locut0s]

Depends on what you mean by regret. Regret for real mistakes you have made in your life or regret for things that might have been?

I think everyone has the former. It's just natural to regret genuine mistakes one makes. One should of course not dwell on them for too long and doing this is not always easy.

The latter however is the more interesting statement and one that I and a lot of people have the most difficulty with. This is regret for actions not taken, paths your life could have gone down etc... I've met a lot of people who were VERY happy with their lives despite being in a situation that might cause someone else with a different emotional makeup to completely break down. I knew this one guy when I worked for 7-11 who would come in monthly to check our electrical meter. I don't know what he got paid but it couldn't have been all that much, happiest damn guy I've ever seen. ALWAYS had a bright smile on his face ALWAYS friendly ALWAYS in a good mood. Knew a bunch of others like this as well, a delivery man and garbage man come to mind for example. That is a secret that we should all learn to obtain!